*Gazal* -Panna 5:Ghazals

Celmira

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #60 on: May 18, 2008, 09:15:52 AM »

Quote from: Roja on May 16, 2008, 12:13:08 PM

Besada muflison ki sada ab toh sun
Sab pata hai tujhe ye khuda ab toh sun

Luta hai zamana inhe kis tarah
Aa jara dekh tu ye sama ab toh sun

Kaun inka sunega tumare sivay
Kisliye aankh roye gila ab toh sun

Bebasi inki aa kar zara dekh le
Kar nigahe-karam, yeh dua ab to sun

Chand taare inhone na mange kabhi
De siyahi ko inke diye ab toh sun

Kya hua hai tujhe, tu bi sunta nahi
Kaun inki sune fir bata(बता) ab toh sun

Ta rahe hai kehar joh unhe de saja
Bas "Roja" ki itni dua ab toh sun

=======================
Besada = be awaz, Sama = drushya
Nigahe-karam = kripa drishti
Kehar = atyachar

Bohot khoob Roja !!!


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Celmira

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #61 on: May 18, 2008, 09:56:37 AM »

Quote from: Sayyid Randeri on May 18, 2008, 06:11:12 AM

Roja ji aadaab...
Mene baat ko badha chadha kar pesh nahi kiya he, Sab se badi baat he "wazan" jab tak sher me wazan naho wo "nazam" nahi "nasar" kehlata he, YO par istara sahih kalam pesh karne waale log bohot hen maga phir bhi kam hen, aksariyat iski parwah nahi karti.

Aap ke ash'aar me wazan hota he, jese aap ka sher:

Besada muflison ki sada ab to sun
Sab pata hai tujhe ae khuda ab to sun

Agar ye soch samajh kar wazan par likhe gae hen to bohot achhchha he or agar beirada hi wazan par sher kehdale to or bhi achhchha he, iska matlab he fitrat me shayri he, jo bohot unche maqaam tak pohonchne ki daleel he.

Afsos he ke mene pehle aap ko kyun nahi padha shayad is liye ke ham dono ka waqt alag he YO par aane ka.

Sayyid,

Hume bohot khushi hai ki YOIndia pe aap jaise shayar hain, Yaqeenan, aapka kalam kam nazar aata hai yahan, par bohot hi aa'ala !! Aapki shayari ke to hum qayal hain......

Beshak yahan bohot log likhte hain lekin sahi maayne main urdu shayari kam hi log karte hain..magar seekhne main kaisi sharam...aur jo log seekhne main sharam mehsoos nahin karte, wohi aage badhte hain....

Aapke fan se agar meri bhi shayari durust ho, to mujhe is baat se zyada khushi aur kya hogi..Ummed hai ki aap humari islaah karte rahenge (jaise ki karte rehte hain )


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Roja

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #62 on: May 18, 2008, 10:19:32 AM »

Quote from: Sayyid Randeri on May 18, 2008, 06:11:12 AM

Ab mai aapka is vistar ka kya jawab du Sayyid Randeri sb?? Jo b talim mili hai mujhe wo mere papa se mili hai. Aaj wo aapka likha hua padpate toh bahut khushi hogi unhe. Bahut bahut shukriya.


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Roja

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #63 on: May 18, 2008, 10:27:35 AM »

Ab bhi honton pe hassi hai, ab bhi aankhon main nami
Kaun kehta hai ki pattar ho gaya hai aadmi

Jal raha jungle magar kuch phool bhi toh khil rahe
Dhoop choomti ho bhale per chandni hai reshmi

Dhood maa ki chathiyon mein, bhook bacche mein abhi
Rokne se zindagi ki, kab kahan dhara thami

Ab bhi aangan mein gharounde, ab bhi hai kilkariya.n
Boliye ghar mein kahan fir reh gayi koyi kami

Gungunati ab bhi payal, rang mehendi main abhi
Janam per bajthi nahi, ab bhi kahi dhun matami

Ab bhi palkon per hai sapne, khoj manzil ki wahi
Nazar ab bhi aadmi ki, chand-taron per jami


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Sayyid Randeri

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #64 on: May 18, 2008, 07:30:14 PM »

Quote from: Celmira on May 18, 2008, 09:56:37 AM

Celmira ji me aap ka tah-e-dil se shukar guzaar hun jo aap ne itni izzat bakhshi..

Banda islaaiq nahi ke kisi ki islah kare, albatta aap ka hukm sar aankhon par, jokuchh hamse jaha'n tak hosake ek dusre ki islaah karte rahenge, YO par ham tama hi talib-e-ilm he, or talib-e-ilm ek dusre ko sabaq yaad karne me madad karte hen ye kuchh esahi samajhye.


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Sayyid Randeri

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #65 on: May 18, 2008, 07:37:41 PM »

Quote from: Roja on May 18, 2008, 10:19:32 AM

Ab mai aapka is vistar ka kya jawab du Sayyid Randeri sb?? Jo b talim mili hai mujhe wo mere papa se mili hai. Aaj wo aapka likha hua padpate toh bahut khushi hogi unhe. Bahut bahut shukriya.

Roja ji hamne aap ke papa ko nahi dekha, magar aap ki shayri me unke ilm or hunar ko dekh raha hun, yaqeenan wo a'ala darjeke shair honge.


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Sayyid Randeri

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #66 on: May 18, 2008, 07:53:19 PM »

Quote from: Roja on May 18, 2008, 10:27:35 AM

Bohot khoob... behtareen, hamesha ki tarha sadgi or sanjeedgi ke saath khoobsoorat peshkash.


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Roja

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #67 on: May 25, 2008, 08:50:04 AM »

Bahut bahut shukriya Sayyid Randeri ji


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honeyrose

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Re: *Gazal*

« Reply #68 on: May 25, 2008, 09:39:54 AM »

Quote from: Roja on May 18, 2008, 10:27:35 AM

Bohat khoob likha hai Roja dear..


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