If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of the butter is inversely proportional to the softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.  

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
 :D  :D