:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! :: -Panna 14:Shairi - E

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #195 on: December 28, 2004, 03:02:44 AM »

Quote from: "Mansi_d_archi"

aaawwwwwwS.O.M.E!!
dis1 is my fav you knw!you've started makin master-pieces Chimpu! lol simplly sexy!

sexy? :?:

thnx anyways for giving ur time to comment.....


	Logged

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #196 on: December 28, 2004, 03:13:41 AM »

Quote from: "smile_deep1"

too good heart................. wellwritten.............. awesome............. i need to learn lot from you

thnx deep... just feel what u write...
when i wrote my first english poem, it was not wurth commenting... i knew that... still ppl commented... (not much -ve though)
i can only suggest that keep writing, u'll learn yourself.

and mansi, i know i am improving a lot in my poetry...

at a poetry site, i (my id there : lonely_rose_bud) got comments from top class experienced poets (not frm india) like

* after so much time i am seeing "real beauty" in the lines from (lonely_rose_bud)

and my sis told me thru PM "bhaiya im really glad u really impressed ms. trish! its so hard to impress her! n i m so joyful tht u r improving a lot in ur poetry"

and many more....

btw mansi, thnx a lot 4 appreciation... glasses2


	Logged

Mansi_d_archi

Khususi Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 0 minutes.

Posts: 1802

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #197 on: December 28, 2004, 04:09:05 AM »

pleasure readin ur poetry...lol...basically inspired by me Chimpu!!


	Logged

lt;< Paradise is always where L0\/e dwells >>

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #198 on: December 28, 2004, 04:32:49 AM »

lol.


	Logged

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #199 on: December 31, 2004, 04:46:04 AM »

comments on other sites on the poem "Never Miss a Shot" :

* Sad and ironic. Good poem, Rosebud! Keep writing!

* I really liked this. I am a sucker for irony especially when it appears in the form of a good poem. The last line was amazing and the perfect ending. Thanks for sharing your creative energy.


	Logged

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #200 on: December 31, 2004, 04:52:31 AM »

comments on "illusion"

* "eyes shut forever, nothing to see..." Ooh interesting lines.

This is probably me totally misinterpreting your poem and for that I apologize, but I was just wondering whether when you say "spare your time earning big cash..." it would be better as "spend your time"?

* A lot of truth in it.

"spare your time earning big cash"... Maybe you meant to use a comma between the two phrases - then it makes perfect sense to me.

And do keep writing, we'll always be here to comment on deserving work.

* Hello, RoseBud...welcome to the Palace

Perfect title for what I find you saying. It is a waste of time, eh?

Living?

quote your poem:

"humans ultimately, burnt to ash
spare your time earning big cash
cry for one thing, try for another
earth is a place for fools to gather" end qte.

As if you are saying you can't take it with you?

And how do we develop self and remain selfless?

And how do we find spiritually which is a cure for most maladies when we are so busy trying to survive?

Those are the thoughts which this poem provoked in me and btw, I rarely am right in interpretation of someone's work; I use other's poetry like a garment, try it on, sometimes it fits as if my very own, other times I don't find much use in it....... thanking the writer for the experience of feeling and/or thinking a little differently than I might have without the poem. I thank you....you have cause me to think and feel and contemplate.


	Logged

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #201 on: December 31, 2004, 04:56:46 AM »

and on faith

were not really bad! but just 1

* Nice little one here, I like the way you've named it "Faith" despite the somewhat negative content. I wonder if "Faith" can be a negative quality (and quantity too)... I guess it can be, after all!

"true life... live it fake..." Good finish. It's true that most of us are "living it fake"... Take a look at the forum, for example.. we don't see too many original names, do we? Life may or may not be true, but we haven't yet learned to be true to it! Maybe it's better this way...

Write on!


	Logged

Mansi_d_archi

Khususi Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 0 minutes.

Posts: 1802

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #202 on: January 03, 2005, 04:00:41 AM »

gr8 goin! KEEP IT UP!!!!!!


	Logged

lt;< Paradise is always where L0\/e dwells >>

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #203 on: January 03, 2005, 11:41:35 AM »

Thanks MansiJi

One More... Wrote it at Notepad. Its Also in thread "Untitled - Notepad" in Chit-Chat section. Just thought of putting it in my collection, for my regular readers.

Remembering the silence of yesterday moonlight,
until her heart spoke millions of words to me.
Cant forget her beautiful face,
her beautiful smile, as we shared everything.
I've fallen in love with her.
knowing they are just feelings,
and tears start rolling down my cheek.

Like a magical dream in my eyes,
one day it will be in her eyes too.
Visualizing each and
every moment spent with her,
staring deep down in her eyes.

A breeze blew across my heart, as
my fingers crossed through her beautiful long hairs.
I would never return her heart.
The heart, that is now mine forever.

tongue3


	Logged

Mansi_d_archi

Khususi Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 0 minutes.

Posts: 1802

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #204 on: January 07, 2005, 12:03:23 AM »

wow beautiful wordings!!


	Logged

lt;< Paradise is always where L0\/e dwells >>

nidhi_yadein

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 2 hours and 8 minutes.

Posts: 5619

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #205 on: January 08, 2005, 02:43:10 AM »

Vey nice hearty.


	Logged

Did you Share Your Poem with the World ?[/b]

Click here to participate in latest at Yoindia.com

Yoindia.com Rules & Regulation | Introduce yourself to Yoindia

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #206 on: January 08, 2005, 04:39:25 PM »

thank you nidhi :dance:


	Logged

Tosha

WeCare
Khaas Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 1 days, 13 hours and 43 minutes.

Yuhoo..!! I'm back with a bang!! bang bang..

Posts: 12259

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #207 on: January 08, 2005, 06:40:58 PM »

bahut khoob...heart!!!


	Logged

तन्हा रहो में, एक हमसफ़र, एक मंज़िल तलाश रहे है| कभी चाँद कभी तरो के आसरे, क़दम दर क़दम बढ़ा रहे है||

Yoindia.com Rules & Regulation |Introduce yourself to Yoindia
A request : Always give proper credits to the author if you are posting other's work
Please don't repeat yourself ie. don't post same shayri more than once.
Maintain Healthy and Friendlier Environment.
Please don't go offtopic.

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #208 on: January 09, 2005, 12:51:15 PM »

thnx ToshaJi


	Logged

myheart_ursonly

Umda Shayar

Offline

Waqt Yoindia ko Diya: 6 hours and 48 minutes.

Posts: 8745

:: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

« Reply #209 on: January 09, 2005, 12:55:14 PM »

portrait of ............ ("-") sorry cant put her name here ("-")
for miss pretty eyes who has just entered my life...

"memories"
A bit scared, i touched the brush,
and it started crying itself out on paper.
Crying and drawing portrait of her,
pouring out my heart it started dancing.
Looking above, at the rainbow in the sky,
picking the most vibrant colors,
it started drawing.
Like magic, unexplainable,
it poured my memories.
Now it was complete. I had a look at it.
Each shape was speaking her grace.
I kept staring at it, loosing myself.
Its splendour started hypnotising me.
I wanted to feel nothing,
still, my eyes went out on paper,
and the colors mixed up themselves,
started running down.
I closed my eyes, trying to memorise her face,
trying to hold myself still.
My tears still fell off, one by one.


	Logged

Yoindia.com : Shero Shayari in Urdu Hindi & Various other Languages: Forums


	Logged

Pages: 1 ... 10 11 12 13 [14] 15

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shairi - E - Zindagi > Topic: :: poems by me : any comments r most welcum! ::

Mention NM