Adhar Tou Tapte Rahe……KOYAL

by KOYAL46 on December 28, 2010, 09:04:21 AM
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KOYAL46
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Na Kar Tu Pyaar Mujhse.......

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Kiya Aur Kuchh Bhee Nahi......……


Dwaar  se uktaa gayaa hai Dehri ka mann
Aaj bahut naaraaj hai Kalaayee se Kangan

Shabdon ne diye mujhe meethe Swarr
Geet mein woh he gungunaatee rahi

Kaagajjon mai bhar-bhar dil kay rang
Zindagi k sachh ko mein juthlaati rahi

Sirf aasooyon par he kiya neeyantran
Jeevan mai kiya aur kuchh bhee nahi

Adhar tou tapte rahe, Aankh ko pani mila
Ek boond aansoo gira aur kuchh bhee nahi
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nirala
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«Reply #1 on: December 28, 2010, 09:13:12 AM »
sahityik shabdo ke saath
dil ke dard ko yun aise bayaan karna bahut kam log jante hain Koyal sahiba.
aapne jis prakaar se shabdon ka upyog kiya ehsaason ko bayana karne ka wo kabile tarif hai ji.
kuch naya sa laga jo behtareen hai.
all total Khubsurat kavita.
""
thanx
""
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Intezar
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«Reply #2 on: December 28, 2010, 05:45:29 PM »
kya baat hai koyal ji... bahut achha likha hai...
last two lines wonderful...

tere hontho ki tapish jo bujhaa jaate hum kabhi
to phir wo bankar aag mere seene mein jal rahi hoti
khair un aasuon ka bhi kya gila karen jo behte hain
lab tak pahunch jaate agar yaad thodi aur aayi hoti... !

Intezar !
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*KasaK*....Dil Ki
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«Reply #3 on: December 29, 2010, 02:14:10 AM »
koyal rani..ek behadddd khubsurat kavita.....sach me itne sunder shabd itne pyare ehsaas aur ye dard....man me kuch kuch hua padhkar....
dil se daad......
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«Reply #4 on: December 29, 2010, 02:15:17 AM »
kya baat hai koyal ji... bahut achha likha hai...
last two lines wonderful...

tere hontho ki tapish jo bujhaa jaate hum kabhi
to phir wo bankar aag mere seene mein jal rahi hoti
khair un aasuon ka bhi kya gila karen jo behte hain
lab tak pahunch jaate agar yaad thodi aur aayi hoti... !

Intezar !
nice reply intezar ji...
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KOYAL46
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«Reply #5 on: December 29, 2010, 07:54:44 AM »
Niralaaji tahe dil se aapka shukriya....aapne rachna padhi aur sarahi.....achha laga.... icon_flower

sahityik shabdo ke saath
dil ke dard ko yun aise bayaan karna bahut kam log jante hain Koyal sahiba.
aapne jis prakaar se shabdon ka upyog kiya ehsaason ko bayana karne ka wo kabile tarif hai ji.
kuch naya sa laga jo behtareen hai.
all total Khubsurat kavita.
""
thanx
""
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KOYAL46
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Na Kar Tu Pyaar Mujhse.......

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«Reply #6 on: December 29, 2010, 09:05:42 AM »
Thanks a lot Intezar ji .....aapne bhi bahut achhi lines likhi hain.....
Bas yu he saath dete rahiye.....mehfil mai rang jamaate rahiye.... icon_flower


kya baat hai koyal ji... bahut achha likha hai...
last two lines wonderful...

tere hontho ki tapish jo bujhaa jaate hum kabhi
to phir wo bankar aag mere seene mein jal rahi hoti
khair un aasuon ka bhi kya gila karen jo behte hain
lab tak pahunch jaate agar yaad thodi aur aayi hoti... !

Intezar !
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killbill
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«Reply #7 on: December 29, 2010, 09:13:06 AM »
wah Koyal ji--
kya mastam mast hai aapki kavita.
specially jo words aapne use kiye wo bahut khas hain.
kuch aapki tarah to mai reply de nhi skta poetry me..
bas ji dil se daad hazir hai.
sukriya
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