mai mom hun

by bekarar on August 08, 2008, 02:25:57 PM
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bekarar
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mujhe nahi pata ki ye ghazal shayri-e-dard me aati hai ya nahi..lekin mujhe laga aur mai yahan post kar raha hun.....fir bhi agar ye jagah thik na lage to "we care" wale ise sahi jagah panhuch den...yun bhi shayad ye is forum me meri pahli hi post hai

mai mom hun, pighalna fitrat hai meri,
magar wo tapish to lao, jo pighala sake mujhko

mai parwana bhi to hun, jo khud hi mita de khud ko
magar wo shama to lao, jo bahon me le sake mujhko,

meri keemat se ab bhi kam hai, ye doulaten tumhari,
wo pyar bhi to lao, jo kharid sake mujhko

mujhe chand kah do tum, par rukhsati se pahle,
us suraj ko bulao, jo dubo sake mujhko,

mujhe marne se pahle, us shakhs ko bulao,
gunahgaar kah ke jo bula sake mujhko,
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Shikha12
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«Reply #1 on: August 08, 2008, 02:53:28 PM »
Applause Applause Applause

Ek shayar ki bhawanao ka muqabla chand shabdon mein kaise kare koi.. Sach mein, shabd tareef toh kar sakte hai, lekin aisi tareef, jo is kavita ki tarah hi dil ko chhue... Sanjeev ji humein toh aisi tareef karni bhi nahin aati... Itna hi kaheinge, aapke paas khayaalon ka bharpoor khajaana hai.. jo aap hum sab mein baant.te rehte hai... Usual Smile

Likhte rahiyega...  Thumbs UP
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kaushikbhawna008
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«Reply #2 on: August 08, 2008, 03:13:11 PM »
sanjeev ji bohut hi sundar kalam pesh kiya hai aapne
its really too gud
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diya786
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«Reply #3 on: August 08, 2008, 03:43:08 PM »
really nice lines sanjeev ji
aapne bahut hi saadgi se likha hai par bahut hi deep feelings hain its gr8
  Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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bekarar
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«Reply #4 on: August 08, 2008, 05:24:35 PM »
Quote from: Mahiya on August 08, 2008, 02:53:28 PM
Applause Applause Applause

Ek shayar ki bhawanao ka muqabla chand shabdon mein kaise kare koi.. Sach mein, shabd tareef toh kar sakte hai, lekin aisi tareef, jo is kavita ki tarah hi dil ko chhue... Sanjeev ji humein toh aisi tareef karni bhi nahin aati... Itna hi kaheinge, aapke paas khayaalon ka bharpoor khajaana hai.. jo aap hum sab mein baant.te rehte hai... Usual Smile

Likhte rahiyega...  Thumbs UP

mahiyaaapke comeents padhkar bas yahi kah sakta hun ki hosalaafzai kaise kee jaye koi aapse sikhe.....bahoot achcha laga....ki aapne ise pasand kiya aur meri choti si koshish ko tavvazo di shukrguzar hun aapka...
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bekarar
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«Reply #5 on: August 08, 2008, 05:31:59 PM »
Quote from: kaushikbhawna008 on August 08, 2008, 03:13:11 PM
sanjeev ji bohut hi sundar kalam pesh kiya hai aapne
its really too gud

shukriya bhawna ji aapko pasand aaya,
aap logon ka saath ho to fir kuch ban hi jaata hai
aate rahiye

Quote from: diya786 on August 08, 2008, 03:43:08 PM
really nice lines sanjeev ji
aapne bahut hi saadgi se likha hai par bahut hi deep feelings hain its gr8
  Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

shukriya diya ji,
aapne padhne ka samay nikala...aur kaita ki gahrai ki thah li

Quote from: Kanta on August 08, 2008, 04:57:48 PM
ye post bekarar ne bahot khas likha he alag sa hat ke he

aapka hosalaafzai ka ye andaz-e-bayan bhi kuch hat kar hai..kanta ji,
padhte bhi rahen aur likhte bhi rahen
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Rajbir
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«Reply #6 on: August 08, 2008, 06:05:52 PM »
Sanjeev bro

Very very nice ! Applause Applause Applause

Sab doston ne pehle he bahut kuch likh diya hai...meri rai bhi un sabse milti hai Thumbs UP
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bekarar
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«Reply #7 on: August 08, 2008, 06:17:07 PM »
thanks raj bhai,
aapke comments humesha se prerana ka strot rahe hain..

yo india par bahoot arsa pahle post ki hui meri ek kavita fir se is thread me daal raha hun..shayad aapne na padhi ho....
in dono kaitaon ka kuch sambandh bhi hai...jo mai janta hun...isliye man hua aapki nazar

tumhe gulon ki aadat hai, mai gamokhwar me khush hun,
tumhe "haqikat" me jeena hai, mai tassvur-e-sansar me khush hun,
tumhare aur mere khayalon me, sirf farq hai itana,
ke tum jeet ke khush ho, aur mai haar ke khush hun,

tumse kuch paane ki ummeed nahi karata,
mai to tumhe kuch dene ke, ehsas me khush hun,
badlega mera pyar tumhara bhi nazariya,
jhoothi hi sahi lekin, mai is aas me khush hun,

tagaful tera mere iradon ko, majboot banata hai,
tumhe ekrar nahi dil ka aur mai inkaar me khush hun
tumhe mujhse hai matlab kya, mujhe tumse nahi shikwa
tum apane haal me khush ho, mai apane haal me khush hun

tujhe bhulane se nahi fursat, mai teri yaad me khush hun,
tujhe dil-e-aabad se nafarat hai, mai dile barbaad me khush hun,
bujhane na dunga kasam hai khuda ki,
sulag raha hun subah sham, mai us aag me khush hun,
 
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Kanta
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«Reply #8 on: August 08, 2008, 07:18:41 PM »
ab ye pada tu or bhi sundar likha he bekarar, pir se tum ne really dil ke sath shabd mein dala he.

tum ne likha he
{aapka hosalaafzai ka ye andaz-e-bayan bhi kuch hat kar hai..kanta ji,
padhte bhi rahen aur likhte bhi rahen} hosalaafzai kiya hota he?
danyavaad
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ANKIT RAO
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«Reply #9 on: August 08, 2008, 09:09:24 PM »
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
BAHUT KHOOB LAGA PAD KAR APKA KALAM.SACHMUCH BAHUT ACHA LIKHA HAIN APNE BEKARAR JI.
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Pooja
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«Reply #10 on: August 08, 2008, 09:21:03 PM »
 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley  Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

dono he poems kamal ki likhi hai Sanjeev ji!! kamal kar diya apne.. ek ek line aise booni hai ki kavita kab khatam ho jaati hai pata hi nahi chalta!@! bahoot khoob. dil se mubarak baad kabool kare!! abhi kuch busy hu ... magar yaha likhne ki poori koshish hogi...
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bekarar
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«Reply #11 on: August 08, 2008, 11:10:16 PM »
Quote from: Kanta on August 08, 2008, 07:18:41 PM
ab ye pada tu or bhi sundar likha he bekarar, pir se tum ne really dil ke sath shabd mein dala he.

tum ne likha he
{aapka hosalaafzai ka ye andaz-e-bayan bhi kuch hat kar hai..kanta ji,
padhte bhi rahen aur likhte bhi rahen} hosalaafzai kiya hota he?
danyavaad

hosalaafzai ka matlab hota hai encourage karna, thanks for liking the poems

Quote from: ANKIT RAO on August 08, 2008, 09:09:24 PM
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
BAHUT KHOOB LAGA PAD KAR APKA KALAM.SACHMUCH BAHUT ACHA LIKHA HAIN APNE BEKARAR JI.

shukriya ankit ji,
aapko achcha laga....aur aapne pasand kiya...fir se shukriya
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bekarar
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«Reply #12 on: August 08, 2008, 11:15:27 PM »
Quote from: Pooja on August 08, 2008, 09:21:03 PM
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley  Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

dono he poems kamal ki likhi hai Sanjeev ji!! kamal kar diya apne.. ek ek line aise booni hai ki kavita kab khatam ho jaati hai pata hi nahi chalta!@! bahoot khoob. dil se mubarak baad kabool kare!! abhi kuch busy hu ... magar yaha likhne ki poori koshish hogi...

pooja ji
shukriya tahe dil se ki ye kavitaen aapke samne aai aapne padha..aur itni taliyan baja di ki bas hum to phool ke kuppa ho gaye...
mai intzaar mr hun aapke jawab ke....
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Rajbir
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«Reply #13 on: August 08, 2008, 11:16:09 PM »
Quote from: bekarar on August 08, 2008, 06:17:07 PM
thanks raj bhai,
aapke comments humesha se prerana ka strot rahe hain..

yo india par bahoot arsa pahle post ki hui meri ek kavita fir se is thread me daal raha hun..shayad aapne na padhi ho....
in dono kaitaon ka kuch sambandh bhi hai...jo mai janta hun...isliye man hua aapki nazar

tumhe gulon ki aadat hai, mai gamokhwar me khush hun,
tumhe "haqikat" me jeena hai, mai tassvur-e-sansar me khush hun,
tumhare aur mere khayalon me, sirf farq hai itana,
ke tum jeet ke khush ho, aur mai haar ke khush hun,

tumse kuch paane ki ummeed nahi karata,
mai to tumhe kuch dene ke, ehsas me khush hun,
badlega mera pyar tumhara bhi nazariya,
jhoothi hi sahi lekin, mai is aas me khush hun,

tagaful tera mere iradon ko, majboot banata hai,
tumhe ekrar nahi dil ka aur mai inkaar me khush hun
tumhe mujhse hai matlab kya, mujhe tumse nahi shikwa
tum apane haal me khush ho, mai apane haal me khush hun

tujhe bhulane se nahi fursat, mai teri yaad me khush hun,
tujhe dil-e-aabad se nafarat hai, mai dile barbaad me khush hun,
bujhane na dunga kasam hai khuda ki,
sulag raha hun subah sham, mai us aag me khush hun,
 

Sanjeev bro

Aap ka yeh kalam padh kar na jaane kyun, chand ghadiyon mein he ek guzra hua zamana yaad aa gaya !

Log aksar aise kalam padh kar kehte hain ki kaise wah wah karoon !
Magar main kehta hoon Wah ! wah ! wah ! Applause Applause Applause

Kis mood mein tumne yeh kavita likhi hogi mujhe iska ehsaas ho raha hai Thumbs UP

Mujhe tumhara yeh kalam bahut bahut pasand aaya !

Tahe dil se daad kabool kijiye  Hats off to you!
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bekarar
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«Reply #14 on: August 08, 2008, 11:25:16 PM »
bahoot bahoot shukriya raj ji,
aapka har ek lafz humare liye bahoot mayne rakhta hai..bas isi tarah padhte rahen aur housala badahte rahen,
lekin ek baat mai is kavita ke baare me kahunga isme kahin bhi kalpna (ye kisi ladki ka naam nahi hai kalpna / imagination) ka sahara nahi liya hai maine....

sanjeev
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