mai mom hun

by bekarar on August 08, 2008, 02:25:57 PM
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Kanta
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«Reply #15 on: August 09, 2008, 01:10:25 AM »
thanks bekarar mein sikh lugi turant
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Talat
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«Reply #16 on: August 09, 2008, 01:58:26 AM »
Quote from: bekarar on August 08, 2008, 02:25:57 PM
mujhe nahi pata ki ye ghazal shayri-e-dard me aati hai ya nahi..lekin mujhe laga aur mai yahan post kar raha hun.....fir bhi agar ye jagah thik na lage to "we care" wale ise sahi jagah panhuch den...yun bhi shayad ye is forum me meri pahli hi post hai

mai mom hun, pighalna fitrat hai meri,
magar wo tapish to lao, jo pighala sake mujhko

mai parwana bhi to hun, jo khud hi mita de khud ko
magar wo shama to lao, jo bahon me le sake mujhko,

meri keemat se ab bhi kam hai, ye doulaten tumhari,
wo pyar bhi to lao, jo kharid sake mujhko

mujhe chand kah do tum, par rukhsati se pahle,
us suraj ko bulao, jo dubo sake mujhko,

mujhe marne se pahle, us shakhs ko bulao,
gunahgaar kah ke jo bula sake mujhko,

Quote from: bekarar on August 08, 2008, 06:17:07 PM


yo india par bahoot arsa pahle post ki hui meri ek kavita fir se is thread me daal raha hun..shayad aapne na padhi ho....
in dono kaitaon ka kuch sambandh bhi hai...jo mai janta hun...isliye man hua aapki nazar

tumhe gulon ki aadat hai, mai gamokhwar me khush hun,
tumhe "haqikat" me jeena hai, mai tassvur-e-sansar me khush hun,
tumhare aur mere khayalon me, sirf farq hai itana,
ke tum jeet ke khush ho, aur mai haar ke khush hun,

tumse kuch paane ki ummeed nahi karata,
mai to tumhe kuch dene ke, ehsas me khush hun,
badlega mera pyar tumhara bhi nazariya,
jhoothi hi sahi lekin, mai is aas me khush hun,

tagaful tera mere iradon ko, majboot banata hai,
tumhe ekrar nahi dil ka aur mai inkaar me khush hun
tumhe mujhse hai matlab kya, mujhe tumse nahi shikwa
tum apane haal me khush ho, mai apane haal me khush hun

tujhe bhulane se nahi fursat, mai teri yaad me khush hun,
tujhe dil-e-aabad se nafarat hai, mai dile barbaad me khush hun,
bujhane na dunga kasam hai khuda ki,
sulag raha hun subah sham, mai us aag me khush hun,
 

Kuch bhi likhungi wo kam hi hoga...yaad nahin aapki doosri poem maine padhi ya nahin.......Mere paas lafz nahin hai inki taareef ke liye.....  Applause Applause Applause

Aap ke paas beshak na words ki kami hai na topics ki....lafzon se khelna koi aapse seekhe......sachche dil se ek baat keh rahi hoon Sanjeev, aapka likha padhne ke baad laga ki hume to likhna aata hi nahin hai......!!

Bohot Khoob  Clapping Smiley
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bekarar
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«Reply #17 on: August 09, 2008, 08:12:33 AM »
Quote from: Kanta on August 09, 2008, 01:10:25 AM
thanks bekarar mein sikh lugi turant

your welcome kanta
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bekarar
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«Reply #18 on: August 09, 2008, 08:26:47 AM »
Quote from: Celmira on August 09, 2008, 01:58:26 AM
Kuch bhi likhungi wo kam hi hoga...yaad nahin aapki doosri poem maine padhi ya nahin.......Mere paas lafz nahin hai inki taareef ke liye.....  Applause Applause Applause

Aap ke paas beshak na words ki kami hai na topics ki....lafzon se khelna koi aapse seekhe......sachche dil se ek baat keh rahi hoon Sanjeev, aapka likha padhne ke baad laga ki hume to likhna aata hi nahin hai......!!

Bohot Khoob  Clapping Smiley

talat,
tumhare is comment ne jaroor mujhe sukun pahunchaya hai..lekin aapne kuch jyada hi kah diya....mai to aap logon se hi kuch sikhne ki koshish kar raha hun......
tahe dil se sachche dil se aapka aabhar,
ab mai aap logon se kaise sikh raha hun..iski ek bangi...

jo meri pahi kavita ka pahla sher

mai mom hun, pighalna fitrat hai meri,
magar wo tapish to lao, jo pighala sake mujhko

ye maine prateek ji se seekha hai..meri ek kavita "mujhe samjho to" par unka ek reply tha..usi se inspire hai ye sher unka jawab kuch yun tha

jo hona chahte ho mom
to sunlo aaj yeh kehna
pighalne se pehle hain
unka jalna zarrori bhee
pur hairaan hota main
'patango' ko hua kya hain
zara si garm saanso se
unki aah nikalti hain!

Prateek,


aur ek sher dekhiye

mujhe chand kah do tum, par rukhsati se pahle,
us suraj ko bulao, jo dubo sake mujhko,
delhi ke ek bahoot umda lekin thode gumnaam se shayar hain "shuja khawar" sahab unka ek sher tha poori tarah to yaad nahi..kuch yun tha

"din ke ujale me chaand bhi gumnaam raha,
suraj pe pada waqt to taare bhi chamak uthe,

ye sher unse inspire tha.....

ek ghav tha jo risne laga aur "mai khush hun" kavita ka janm hua ye sab ka sab bas jo dil ne kaha jyun katyon rakh diya

to bas ye ek silsila hai sikhne ka chalta hi rahega...
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sajid_ghayel
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«Reply #19 on: August 09, 2008, 02:43:44 PM »
bohat maza aaya padhkar  Applause Applause Applause Applause
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bekarar
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«Reply #20 on: August 09, 2008, 06:26:14 PM »
Quote from: sajid_ghayel on August 09, 2008, 02:43:44 PM
bohat maza aaya padhkar  Applause Applause Applause Applause

sajid ji aapko maza dena hi to kaam hai humara..shukriya padhne ke liye..
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Kanta
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«Reply #21 on: August 09, 2008, 09:20:30 PM »
tum ne theek utar diya prateek acha he.

mom tum mard kese bane
mom banna katin he
mahila janti mom hona
tum ko dard hoga
kabi garb se ho kar dikha
9 mehne khoon sich ke dikha
jisam se jisam jab niklega
pida tum jara sah ke to dikha


mom banna easy nahi bekarar likne se mom nahi banti
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syednaami
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«Reply #22 on: August 10, 2008, 01:29:21 AM »
Quote from: bekarar on August 08, 2008, 02:25:57 PM
mujhe nahi pata ki ye ghazal shayri-e-dard me aati hai ya nahi..lekin mujhe laga aur mai yahan post kar raha hun.....fir bhi agar ye jagah thik na lage to "we care" wale ise sahi jagah panhuch den...yun bhi shayad ye is forum me meri pahli hi post hai

mai mom hun, pighalna fitrat hai meri,
magar wo tapish to lao, jo pighala sake mujhko

mai parwana bhi to hun, jo khud hi mita de khud ko
magar wo shama to lao, jo bahon me le sake mujhko,

meri keemat se ab bhi kam hai, ye doulaten tumhari,
wo pyar bhi to lao, jo kharid sake mujhko

mujhe chand kah do tum, par rukhsati se pahle,
us suraj ko bulao, jo dubo sake mujhko,

mujhe marne se pahle, us shakhs ko bulao,
gunahgaar kah ke jo bula sake mujhko,

Bekarar bhaya, marvelous poem, really heart touching and presenting self-explanation.
A maom wax like feelings in your poetry reflects a wonderful self assessment of yourself.
Excellent bro. -  Clapping Smiley
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Roja
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«Reply #23 on: August 10, 2008, 08:32:29 AM »
Quote from: bekarar on August 08, 2008, 02:25:57 PM

mai mom hun, pighalna fitrat hai meri,
magar wo tapish to lao, jo pighala sake mujhko

mai parwana bhi to hun, jo khud hi mita de khud ko
magar wo shama to lao, jo bahon me le sake mujhko,

meri keemat se ab bhi kam hai, ye doulaten tumhari,
wo pyar bhi to lao, jo kharid sake mujhko

mujhe chand kah do tum, par rukhsati se pahle,
us suraj ko bulao, jo dubo sake mujhko,

mujhe marne se pahle, us shakhs ko bulao,
gunahgaar kah ke jo bula sake mujhko,

Superb creation Sanjeev ji.. Her ek line bahut khoob likha hai.
Good work  Thumbs UP
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honeyrose
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«Reply #24 on: August 10, 2008, 01:25:12 PM »
Sanjeev jiju aapne kamaal ka likha hai dono
kavita mere dil ko chou liye hain ek
ek lafz aapne superb!! likha hai
 Thumbs UP Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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syednaami
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«Reply #25 on: August 10, 2008, 05:24:41 PM »
Quote from: Kanta on August 09, 2008, 09:20:30 PM
tum ne theek utar diya prateek acha he.

mom tum mard kese bane
mom banna katin he
mahila janti mom hona
tum ko dard hoga
kabi garb se ho kar dikha
9 mehne khoon sich ke dikha
jisam se jisam jab niklega
pida tum jara sah ke to dikha


mom banna easy nahi bekarar likne se mom nahi banti
icon_scratch Shocked Even More

Kanta jee,
Bekarar bhai ne mom mummy nahin parantu Maom (Wax) par likha hai.
Aap ne mamta ka dard yun to bahut sundar sheli se likha  hai par vishay mother nahin hai.
Thanks -
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bekarar
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«Reply #26 on: August 10, 2008, 06:02:12 PM »
Quote from: syednaami on August 10, 2008, 01:29:21 AM
Bekarar bhaya, marvelous poem, really heart touching and presenting self-explanation.
A maom wax like feelings in your poetry reflects a wonderful self assessment of yourself.
Excellent bro. -  Clapping Smiley
thanks a lot for such a nice comment....
Quote from: syednaami on August 10, 2008, 05:24:41 PM
icon_scratch Shocked Even More

Kanta jee,
Bekarar bhai ne mom mummy nahin parantu Maom (Wax) par likha hai.
Aap ne mamta ka dard yun to bahut sundar sheli se likha  hai par vishay mother nahin hai.
Thanks -

thanks again sami.,
warna mujhe abhi tak samajh hi nahi aa raha tha ki kya reply dun  BangHead BangHead BangHead
thanks again sami  Usual Smile
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bekarar
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«Reply #27 on: August 10, 2008, 06:07:20 PM »
Quote from: Roja on August 10, 2008, 08:32:29 AM
Superb creation Sanjeev ji.. Her ek line bahut khoob likha hai.
Good work  Thumbs UP

shukriya roja, achcha laga aapko pasand aaya Usual Smile

Quote from: honeyrose on August 10, 2008, 01:25:12 PM
Sanjeev jiju aapne kamaal ka likha hai dono
kavita mere dil ko chou liye hain ek
ek lafz aapne superb!! likha hai
 Thumbs UP Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

chalo dil tak to pahunche saali sahiba ke  Winking
bahoot bahoot shukriya honey ji
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syednaami
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«Reply #28 on: August 10, 2008, 06:10:57 PM »
Bekarak bhai. -
Well, I don't know bro why she mis understood, but at least now she will. MOM and Maom much difference in both.
Thanks bro. -
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bekarar
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«Reply #29 on: August 10, 2008, 06:15:52 PM »
Quote from: syednaami on August 10, 2008, 06:10:57 PM
Bekarak bhai. -
Well, I don't know bro why she mis understood, but at least now she will. MOM and Maom much difference in both.
Thanks bro. -

bilkul sahi kaha.......
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