assorted jokes

by murali on October 22, 2004, 04:09:57 AM
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murali
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Gujju Premi

Gujju Premi: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa,

kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!

Premika: DHOKLA.i

=====================
Devdas

aaj didar ,

kal yaar ,

parson pyaar ,

phir ekrar ,

fir intezar ,

phir takrar fir darar ,

sari mehnat bekar...

aur aakhir mein

ek aur devdas at beer bar

================
Q.what is difference between watch & wife:

A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to
band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai
================

What do you call a wife who is sexy,

beautiful,intelligent,understanding,

caring, never jealous and a great cook?



ANSWER : A rumour!
=========================
Husband asks,
Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!

WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.

===================
Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achhi hai,

Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achhi hai,

Dil jalati hai, par hothon se to lagati hai
=======
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #1 on: October 22, 2004, 11:45:11 AM »
Husband asks,
Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!

WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.

HA HA HA HA!!!! Nice One Murali ji!!!
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immi
Guest
«Reply #2 on: October 23, 2004, 12:42:46 AM »
Good one !!!!!!!!
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #3 on: October 23, 2004, 04:17:04 AM »
Thanks!!!!!
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sammu1984
Guest
«Reply #4 on: October 24, 2004, 04:00:46 PM »
good job murali  Usual Smile

Marriage Counselor:


A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?" The wife replies, "It's my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!" "How does he drive you crazy?" "For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."

The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?" "He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" "Hmm, anything else?" probes the counselor further. The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"

"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now." So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy. She might even leave you." The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?"

The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public-looking at the floor and never going near anyone else." The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said." "What did he say?"

"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!" The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry." The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay." The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public." "Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."

The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity." "Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. "And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking." "This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing." "What did he say?" The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said. Don't screw up."
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