Cut and Paste

Doston yahape sirf cut paste hi karna,
apni shayari ke hunar please yahan na dikhana...

Koi baath nahi, gar post aapne pade rakhe ho,
kai dost aise hamare, jisne yeh na dekha ho...

Lo ji hum shuru karte hai....


Letter to Technical Support  for Installing Husband 1.0  

Dear Tech Support,  

Last year I upgraded you from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.  
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0,
NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1.  
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3
to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
 
Signed,
Desperate
 
Dear Desperate:
 
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.  
Please visit the website: "http://www.i-thought-you-love-me.html
and try to download Tears 6.2, Don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.  
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or
Beer 6.1.  Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Snoring Loudly (Beta format).   Whatever you do, DO NOT install
Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will
eventually seize control of all your system resources).  
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.  
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to improve memory and  
performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.  

Good Luck,
Tech Support

haan yeh unhone bada bekaar ka kaam kiya hai,
hum apne PC ya kahi aur se, iss topic ko aage badayenge..

Kahi aur se cut paste karenge,
sabko entertainment ka chance denge..

1. Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".

 2. Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you wake up today? 1)Pray, so that u may live... 2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!

 3."Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart, You are blessed with both!." FLATTERED...?.
Don't Be, it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it.

 4. From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been........... a headache

 5. Din ko chain nahi, raat ko aram nahi. Jee na lage kahi, E khuda kya yahi pyar hai ? Arey Pagal.. yeh pyar nahi ..... Aajka 43 degree celcius temperature hai.

 6. My friend, the best quality that i like about u is that, U R very sentimental .... (10% Senti and 90% Mental).

 7.Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT

 8. Bhagwan se Scooter manga.. Car di; Ghar manga.. bangla diya; dost manga toh tumhey diya.. Bhagwan ne isbar aisa zulm kyoun kiya

 9. When I C the moon I C U, When I C the stars I C U, when I C the Sea I C U, get out of the way you are blocking my view.

 10. I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

 11. Zindagi mein tum bahut aage jaaoge, kyonki jahan bhi tum jaooge, sab kahenge, chal be chal aage chal.

The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India.

Better beware of them.

P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus:   First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before   executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times   and finally does nothing.

V.P. Singh Virus:   This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them   only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used   instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions.   This virus is also known as social justice virus.  

Sukh Ram Virus:   This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and  then executes them.  

Maneka Gandhi Virus:   This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were   written by vegetarians or animals.  

L.K. Advani Virus:   This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can   continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.  

K.P.S. Gill Virus:   Only ladies need to worry about this virus.Every now and then the   users get a whack, you know where.  

Phoolan Devi Virus:   This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page   faults for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU*s   birthday.  

Deve Gowda Virus:   The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all   the processes at the same time. This virus services all the request   for resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are   available or not.  

Jayalalitha Virus:   This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus  family grab as much of hard disk space as possible,while the main virus is   totally unaware of it. When everything stops working,this virus   blames the user for the whole chaos.  

I.K.Gujral Virus:   Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the   approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses   blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not   execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always,   this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all   major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the   replies.  

Veerappan virus:   This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and   releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but   suddenly reappears.  

Laloo Yadav virus:   A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the   data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation,it will rename  its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus   takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning.  

Mulayam Virus:   Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only   task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by  sending conflicting signals to different hardware units.  

Sonia Gandhi Virus:   Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can   detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people   use Bofors scanner for temporary protection.  

Kashi-Maya Virus:   It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination   amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority   resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it.   Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.

ya its shuld be in joke sec chilkan jee im moving it..dont mind
..by d way nice post...

theek hai salma ji and NY Saab,

ab nahi karenge cut and paste,
chaaha logon ko thoda hasana, ho gaya waste..

mein kabhi joke section dekhtha nahi hoon,
phir bhi ekbar koshish kartha hoon...