Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Criminal
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Doctor
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master's.

Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Rumor
News that travels at the speed of sound.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

Worry
Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

lol lol lol