<!---- Only Jokes ----!>:SMS , mobile & JOKES

mili_genie

Guest

Q: Why do boys goes to temples?

?

?

?

Becoz temple is the only place where u can find..

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Pooja

Bhawna

Shraddha

Aarti

Archana

Aradhana

Shanti

Jyoti

..........

.......

... AND

Finally..... TRIPTI.....


	Logged

Similar Poetry and Posts (Note: Find replies to above post after the related posts and poetry)
	SMS Jokes by baby_love in SMS , mobile & JOKES
	-::::::::- jokes::::::hi::::::::jokes ::::- by fakharenaveed in SMS , mobile & JOKES « 1 2 All »
	Q & A: Jokes .. by NewYorker in SMS , mobile & JOKES « 1 2 All »
	Jokes by john_karam in Shayri-E-Dard
	jokes hi jokes hain ji............ by arsenmen in SMS , mobile & JOKES

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #1 on: February 24, 2006, 08:41:59 PM »

A woman wakes up on Feb. 14th and tells her husband, "I just dreamed that
you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentines Day. What do you think it
means??"

"You'll know tonight" he says.
That evening, the man comes home with a small package and gives it to his
wife.
Delighted, she opens it and finds..

. a book titled "The Meaning of Dreams"


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #2 on: February 24, 2006, 08:56:38 PM »

Bhakt: Bhagwaan................. Mujhe dard de,

Dukh de, Tension de,

Mujhe barbaad kar de,

Mere peeche bhoot laga de...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Bhagwaan: Abey saale ... ek line mein bol ke Biwi chahiye....... Usual Smile


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #3 on: February 24, 2006, 10:04:46 PM »

A TC in a train collects fine from girls...

he collects Rs.300 from a girl-

she was wearing sleeveless.
from 2nd girl he collects Rs. 200

she was wearing sleeveless & backless.

From 3rd girl he collects Rs. 100

she was wearing a sleeveless & backless &
a skimpy mini-skirt...

From 4th girl he collects Rs. 0
why?

perverted dirty minds !! what r u thinking??

she had a ticket !!!


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #4 on: February 25, 2006, 12:12:01 PM »

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are
mentioned below.

Designation : junior girl friend ( trainee )
Experience : 2 guys

Perks and incentives:

Total gross ( Monthly ) : 3 gifts worth 300/-
30 bike rides each duration 2 hours
20 trips to satyam/spencer/mayajaal.
5 Trips to Isckon
10 Kulfis / Chokobars at a regular gap of 3 days

Daily Provision of Vada Pav / Samosa Pav / Pakoda worth of 5 4 movies (
Hindi Family movie only ) per month on every weekend
Visits to Spencer and Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to Demand

Net Deductions ( Monthly ) : Provident Fund and Service taxes to be informed
on joining

Pls note <Ex-girl friends will not be eligible for any referral benefits>


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #5 on: February 25, 2006, 12:13:26 PM »

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian ........
Banta Strikes Back!!!

Banta Singh walks into a bar in Ludhiana & orders
three glasses of Beer and sits in the back of the room,
drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada, and I'm here in Ludhiana. When they left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
Banta Singh becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the sameway. He orders three Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round,
the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

Banta Singh looks confused for a moment, then alight dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive".

"Only thing is ---- I've just quit drinking"!!!!!!


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #6 on: February 25, 2006, 12:14:21 PM »

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an

English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay

in a small guest

house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether

the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly

called a WC which stands for "Water Closet". She wrote to the

schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.

The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he

knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of

the letters

and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside

Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.

So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles

from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees,

surrounded by

lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on

Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer

months,

I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing

room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the

habit of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the

WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event.

There were

10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on

their faces. We can take photos in different angle. My wife, sadly,

has been ill and

unable to go recently. It has been almost! a year since she went last,

which pains her greatly.

You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and

make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and

arrive just in time. I would

recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ

accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate

sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters.

We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel

it is long

needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you

in a place where you can be seen by all.

With deepest regards,

The Schoolmaster


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #7 on: February 25, 2006, 12:17:08 PM »

Dear Friend,
How To Catch a Lion !! ??

Ø Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite
reaction. Implies you caught lion.

Ø Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also
run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can
trap
it easily.

Ø Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven
that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues
tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Ø Indian Police Method:
catch any animal and inter! rogate it & torture it to
accept that its a lion.

Ø Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that you may come and attack
anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in
fear itself.

Ø Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM
and
kill it, while it's sleeping !

Ø Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put
the
lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears. The
lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Ø Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and
lioness
fall in love with each other. Send another
lioness
in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second
lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another
lioness(third) into the forest. You don't
understand
right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then
also you wont !

Ø Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in
a
good scenic location.

Ø Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Ø Menaka Gandhi method:
save the lion from a danger and feed him with some
vegetables continuously.

Ø George bush method:
Link the lion with osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ø Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at you. you bat for 200 balls
and
score 1 run .


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #8 on: February 25, 2006, 12:18:09 PM »

There was an engineer, manager and a Microsoft programmer driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control.

Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.

They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.

The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution."

The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."

The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #9 on: February 25, 2006, 12:19:16 PM »

Leading Y2k Project

Dear Sir,

Our staff has
completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget.
We have gone through
everyline of code in every program in every system. We
have analyzed all
databases,
all data files, including backups and historic
archives, and modified all
data
to reflect the change.

We are proud to
report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change
mission, and
have now implemented all changes to all programs and
all data to reflect
your new standards:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk,
August, September,
October, November, December.

As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak,
Wednesdak,Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be
honest, none of this "Y to K" problem
has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a
global problem, and our
team is glad to help in any way possible.

And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we
ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls
over from 99 to 00? We'll
await your direction.

Very Sincerely,

Santa Singh .


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #10 on: February 25, 2006, 01:08:13 PM »

CHAIN-SMOKER.....

A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large

building. The second man is puffing away, one
cigarette
after another.

The nonsmoker says, "Sir, I couldn't help noticing how
you
chain-smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?"

"Four."

"How long have you been smoking?"

"Thirty years."

"That's over six thousand packs. Why, if you didn't
smoke,
you could have saved enough money to buy this
building."

The smoker takes a deep puff and says, "Do you smoke?"

"Never."

"Do you own this building?"

"No."

"Well, I do."


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #11 on: February 25, 2006, 04:54:08 PM »

COLOR TV

Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #12 on: February 25, 2006, 05:00:05 PM »

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were
on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be
quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!"


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #13 on: March 11, 2006, 03:30:24 PM »

Wat do u think is d horrible way of death?

Is it accident!

or

poison!

or

murder!

or is it war!

then u r wrong.

It's simple,just
.
.
.
.
Fall in love


	Logged

mili_genie

Guest

<!---- Only Jokes ----!>

«Reply #14 on: March 29, 2006, 04:21:46 PM »

What is Marriage?

Ans:

1yr: Alpenlibe ji lalchaye raha na jaya

2yr: TVS-Meelo chalti muskan

3yr: kinetic-sabki hawa nikal de

4yr: chlormint-Dubara mat puchna..


	Logged

Pages: [1] 2 All

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Fun, Entertainment and Hobbies > SMS , mobile & JOKES > Topic: <!---- Only Jokes ----!>