SMS Fun:SMS , mobile & JOKES

Manish_Friend

Guest

HI friends, I am posting a few SMS jokes that i keep receving from my friends and I hope you would like them:)

if
u
r
a
Chocolate
u
r
Sweetest,
If
u
r
a
Teddy Bear
u
r
MostHugable,
If
u
r
a
Star
u
r
Brightest,
And if,
u
r
My FRienD
"OH my GOD...U ARE THE LUCKIEST!!"


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #1 on: March 29, 2005, 08:28:59 AM »

The wife stands in front of a mirror."U know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror & I see an old woman,face wrinkled,fat legs & flabby arms"
She turns to her husb & says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He thinks & then says in a soft voice,"your eye sight is perfect"

*******************************

Husb &Wife fightin:
Hus: Aise Jine se Marna aacha! prabhu Mujhe Utha le!
Wife:prabhu Mujhe Utha le.!
Hus:Prabhu,Pahle Is ki Sun,Main Apni Arzi Wapas leta Hun!

*********************************************

Lady:"I want a Revolver for my Husband"
Shopkeeper: Mam,Did ur Husb give any Idea of the make he prefers?
Lady:"No.He Doesn't even know that I will Shoot him"


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #2 on: March 29, 2005, 08:36:14 AM »

Duniya mai Bewafaon ki koi kami nahi
SURAJ ko hi dekho
wo Aata hai USHA ke sath
aur Jata hai SANDHYA ke sath,
Sota hai NISHA ke sath aur
Uthta hai KIRAN ke sath

******************************

Aaj tum DIL mango,de denge!
DHADKAN mango, de denge!
JIGAR mango,de denge,
JAAN tak manglo,de sakte hai
.
.
.
Kyuki charo film ki CD ghar pe hai..

****************************************

Aapko mis karna roj ki baat hain,
aapko yaad karna adat ki baat hain,
aapse door rahna kismat ki baat hain,
.
.
.
magar aapko jhelna himmat ki baat hain...kyon hai na?

******************************

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife is.


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #3 on: March 29, 2005, 08:40:31 AM »

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

**********************

Agar
aapke
ghar ke
paas
ek
ladki
ho,

vo
khubsurat
ho,

aapko
pasand
karti
ho,
aapko
ishare
karke
bulati ho,
to
mat
jaana

kyuki
uske
liye

'MAIN HOON NA'

***************************

What is the difference between "GHATNA" and "DURGHATNA"?!
"GHATNA" is when some1's wife runs away.
"DURGHATNA" is when she comes back.!!

**************************

why does a man marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life.

he should also experience horror, terror and tragedy.!!!!

**************************************

Actualy
Chemicaly
Physicaly
Biologicaly
Zoologicaly
Botanicaly
Geographicaly
Historicaly
Mathematicaly
Equaly
Finally
Totally
I want
to disturb u.... ...

***********************************

Boyfriend-Sorry mein tumse shadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana kar rahe hai.
Girlfriend-Ghar me kaun kaun hai? Boyfriend-1 biwi aur 3 bachhe!


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #4 on: March 29, 2005, 09:58:10 PM »

Always Remember,

"Love is Like Cigar..

it starts with fire..

continue with smoke..

and ends in ashes...."

But dont worry, we are Chain Smokers.!!!

************************************************

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

************************************************
, - .(. - .
". ( ."
" ." . "

AN APPLE A DAY

KEEPS THE
DOCTOR AWAY!

BUT IF

THE NURSE IS
C U T E

FORGET THE FRUIT!
and dream of her


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #5 on: March 29, 2005, 10:03:10 PM »

Hum ne
Zindgi ki shuruat
'S' se ki.
S se SURAJ.
S se SUBAH.
S se SWAAGAT.
phir 'S' se
SAMAY ne aisi
karwat badli ki
'S' se hamari
SAGAI ho gai.
Phir Jivan ka
Arth 'S' se SAAS,
SASURAAL
SAALA
SAALI,
SASUR aur
'SANKAT' ho gaya.
To ab Hum
'S' se SANYAAS
lene wale hai,
isliye 'S' se
Aapko SANDESH
bheja hai.

*******************************************

Wife: Y do u always carry my photo in to the office.

Husb: When there is a prob, no matter how big, I look at ur pic & the prob disappears

Wife: U see, how good & powerful I'm for u?

Husb: Yes, I see ur pic &
say to myself,"What other prob can there be greater than this one?"

************************************

Mohabbat 1 bar ho jaye to bholapan he, 2 bar ho jaye to apnapan he,tisri bar ho jaye to diwanapan he,ye jo bar-bar ho jaye to "KAMINAPAN"he!

****************************************

Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.
Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?
Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!

*************************************************

no matter how high the sky is
no matter how blue it is
no matter how deep the water is
i just wanna tell you that

ITS NONE OF UR BUSINESS..


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #6 on: March 29, 2005, 10:11:16 PM »

Apne Husn Par Itna Naaz Na Kar O Pagli,Pata Hai Ki Tu Roz Lagaati Hai Fair N Lovely.

********************************************

A young boy comes running down the street,finds a cop.
& begs,"Pls,officer,come to the bar with me, my father's in a fight."
They get back to the bar & see 3 guys fighting.
The cop asks the kid "which one's ur father."
The kid says,"I don't know, that's what they're fighting about."

********************************

Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin",
chand ne kaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".

*************************************************************

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT,

is a HUSBAND.!

**********************************************************


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #7 on: March 29, 2005, 10:14:02 PM »

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to
Mashook: ek tinka dikh to raha hai
kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye
main doobonga to sahara dega

**************************************************
Unki gali se hum nikle..
.
.
.
.
.
Ajeeb ittefaq tha...

.

.
.
.
.
Phool to pheka unhone...

.
.. LEKin..
...

...

Gamla bhi saath tha..

************************************************

STARS+MOON=Romantic night

BIRDS+SKY=
Lovely day

FOREST+ANIMAL=Re-freshing world

YOU+YOUR SMILE=

"BHAGO
BHOOT
AAYA"...!!..

*******************************************************

A man wanted to how his wife's delivery was goin' on.
By mistake he dailled the no. for cricket Stadium instead of the hospital
On the phone-
Man: How is it going on?
Commentator: We got 6 out already & hope to get the rest out before lunch.
The last 2 were ducks

************************************************

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
so I'd be in ur hands allday.
Husband: I too wish that you were
a newspapers, so I could have
a new one everyday.

***************************************


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #8 on: March 29, 2005, 10:17:30 PM »

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun
Lady : here take it
Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun.
Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

****************************************
koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha,achanak bijli chamki,
badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui
dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gayee

*********************************************************

Har kushi ko teri taraf mod du,
tere liye chand tare bhi tod du,
kushiyo ke darwaje tere liye khol du,
itna kafi hai ya do char jhoot aur bolDu.

*****************************************************

A for apple
B fr bada apple
C fr chota apple
D fr dusra apple
E fr extra apple
F fr fokat ka apple
G fr gol apple
H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple.

*****************************************


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #9 on: March 29, 2005, 10:19:17 PM »

Dark were those days, without your sight.
When I was in darkness, you gave me light.
You gave me strength 2 make life bright.
Thank u so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT

**************************************************

Sita:Truck ka horn sunkar tum kaampne kyu lagte ho?
Titu:Ek truck driver meri biwi ko bhagaa le gaya tha,lagta hai jaise usko vapas laya ho.

*************************************************

YAMRAJ took SHIVA on tour of hell. There Gandhi dancing with Diana!
SHIVA askd:Why Gandhi's punishment is joyful?
YAMRAJ: it's punishment 2 Diana not Gandhi.

***********************************************

Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.
Bhagwaan Shivji..Prakat hoke Bole.Vatsa maang.. kya chahiye tujhey!
Bakth bola shivji mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do!
Shivji ne kaha vatsa tuney badi achchi tapasya ki hai.kuch bada maang!
Par wo to ada hi hua tha. bola, nahin guitar hi do!
Shivji uskey pao mein gir gaye bole tu kuch aur maang.guitar na maang ..
Wo bola nahin mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye.
Ab Shivji gussey main aa gaye AUR boley.
.
.
.
.
abbe agar mere paas guitar hoti to mein yeh damru kyo bajate phirta!

********************************************
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"

**************************************************


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #10 on: March 29, 2005, 10:24:50 PM »

Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui...
Biwi ghar main aayi...
ghar SWARG ban gaya...
aur main
SWARGWASI...

***************************************

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense

*************************************************

Tumsa koi jamaane me hua to rab se shikayat hogi.. Ek to jhela nahi jaata..doosra aa gaya to kya haalat hogi.. Hehehehe

*****************************************
After Finishing MBBS,
Dr. Munna Starts his practice.
He Chcked 1st patient eyes,
tongue & ears by TORCh & finally said
BOLE TO..........
TORCH THEEEEK HAI

***************************************

Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se,
toh hum madhosh ho gaye,
Par jab pata chala ki unki nazare hi tirchhi hai,
toh hum behosh ho gaye..

***********************************

Ram ne Dhanush Toda,
Sita Daud Ke Aayi.
Kishan Ne Bansuri Bajayi,
Aur Radha Bhag ke chali Aayi.
Aur Humne sirf Siti Mari,
Sali Baap ko Le Aayi.

************************

Meri Yaad aaye 2 yaad karo,
jyada yaad aaye 2 MSG karo,
aur jyada aaye 2 FONE karo,
aur b jyada aaye 2 MILO,
usse b jyada aaye 2
plz jhoot bolna band karo...

****************************************

Jo
sagar
ne kaha
lehron se,

Jo
ped
ne kaha
patto se,

jo
phoolon
ne kaha
kaliyon se,

wohi
main
tumhe
kehta hun,

aey

chal chal
hawa
aane de

************************************


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #11 on: March 29, 2005, 10:26:56 PM »

Sincere apology:
If u dont like any of my SMS &
Don't like 2 read,
or if my msgs disturb u,

then pls dont hesitate,
feel free to...
Throw ur mobile out!

************************************

A 50 yr old man asked wife: Do u feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No, not at all, even DOGS chase cars, but can't drive them !!!

*********************************

Taste dis sms

Did u feel the taste of ginger?

No??!!??

Sure?

Wel...

BANDAR KYA JANE ADRAK KA SWAD... Ha ha ha....

***********************************

Like someone said..its difficult 2 understand GOD.
He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

*******************************************

It takes
thousand
workers 2
build a castle

Million
soldiers 2
protect a
country

BUT Just
ONE woman
2 make a
Happy HOME!

Let's Thank
......

KAAMWALI

****************************************
When I call you
1 ring means i'm thinkin of u
2 rings means i like u
3 rings means i'm missing u
4 rings means i need u
5 rings mean.. BEHRE PHONE UTTHA!

*****************************************
Earth may stop Rotating
Birds may stop Flying
Candles may stop Melting
Fishes may stop Swimming
Heart may stop Beating
But your Brain will never start working

**************************************


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #12 on: March 29, 2005, 10:29:59 PM »

Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad
theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: MAIN BHAGWAAN HOON.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.

****************************

Itna khoobsurat kaise muskura leti ho
itna qatil kaise sharma leti ho
kitni aasani se jaanle lete ho
kisi ne sikhaya hai ya bachpan se hi kamini ho?

*********************************

Aadmi Sadhu se Puchta hai - Maharaj meri biwi muze bahut pareshan Karti hai.. koi upay batao.
Sadhu : Gadhe agar upay hota to main Sadhu kyun banta

***************************

***************************

Tum Haste Raho
Haste Raho
Haste Raho
Haste Raho

Muskarate Raho

Sada Khilkhilate Raho

Khush Raho

Mera Kya hain

Log Tumhe hi
Paagal kahenge!

**********************************

Hey!

Tell me very frankly.

Do I look stupid?

Dumb?

A duffer?

Mad?

Like an alien?

Plz tel me.

Coz just now someone told me that l LOOK like

YOU!

*****************************

unlike others,
ur brain is a master piece.
it has 2 parts
left n right.
*
*
*
*
*
In the left nothin is right,
and in right nothin is left

*******************************

Hi! Need one gal 2 marry... Age no bar
Color no bar
height no bar
caste no bar

but gal's father must have his own bar... CHEERS

************************************


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Delicate_Doll

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #13 on: March 30, 2005, 10:47:53 AM »

nice one manish


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Manish_Friend

Guest

SMS Fun

«Reply #14 on: March 31, 2005, 07:47:06 AM »

Thank you Salma for your comments Usual Smile


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