दिखा ज़लज़ले यां तू बरपा कहर दे. ग़ज़ल

by aarzoo-e-arjun on February 25, 2017, 07:42:27 PM
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aarzoo-e-arjun
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आदाब
122*4

मुहब्बत  में  रोयें  न  आंखें  यह वर दे
ऐ मौला तू फौलाद  का दिल जिगर दे

नहीं  दिल  में  कोई   किसे   ढूँढता  है
समझदार  बन  जा  दरारों  को  भर दे
 
मुझे  नींद  आती  रहे  चैन  से   बस
रहूँ   आसमां  के  तले  यां   तू  घर  दे

अगर  पर  को फैलाऊं अंबर से ऊंचा
तो  मेरे  परों  को  तू  फ़िर से कतर दे

निहत्था  चला  जा  रहा  हूँ सितमगर
है  मौका  मेरे   दुश्मनों  को  ख़बर  दे

निवाला  हलक   से   न   उतरेगा  तेरे
सुबह  की  तू अख़बार पे जो नज़र दे

वजीरों  को मीठा  खिलाते  हो पागल
वो  हैं सांप  उनको तू  कड़वा ज़हर दे

है औलाद का सुख नसीबों से मिलता
मुझे   तू  दुआ   में   न  लंबी  उमर  दे

मुहब्बत  के  मारे   हुए  'आरज़ू '  को
दिखा  ज़लज़ले  तू यां  बरपा कहर दे

आरज़ू -ए-अर्जुन
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opchachan
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«Reply #1 on: February 26, 2017, 01:09:21 AM »
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Waw bhot acha likha hai
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aarzoo-e-arjun
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«Reply #2 on: February 26, 2017, 07:43:04 AM »
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Shukriya janaab
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ShekhchilliG
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«Reply #3 on: February 26, 2017, 01:03:46 PM »
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Muhabbat me aankhen n royen ye war de...

 उम्र को 21 पर लेते हैं

आपने 12 पर लिया है

लेकिन आपके कुछ शेर् क़माल हैं

अखबार वाला बहुत खूब

तब्बसुम वाला समझ नहीं आया
बाकी सब बढ़िया है

जियो
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aarzoo-e-arjun
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«Reply #4 on: February 26, 2017, 01:45:22 PM »
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Bahut Shukriya shekh chilli janaab.. Mere sheron ko tabeeyat se parhne k liye..
Janaab...

Umr ko kuch log hindi me 21 se jodte hai....  Jaise..
Mere pyar ki umar ho itni sanam..
Baali umar ko salaam.. Teri..
Choti si umar me lag gaya rog kehte hai log...
Aor kitne hi gaane hai..

 Khiar..  Aap ka kehna sahi hai..   Urdu ke alfaz ko logo ne apne tarike se tod k pesh kiya...  Kattar hone ki zaroorat nahi hai...

Tabassum wali line bikul simple thi..
तबस्सुम  लबों  से  न  बिखरे ऐ मौला
रहूँ   आसमां  के  तले  यां   तू  घर  दे 

मतलब खुदा से गुज़ारिश की है

कि मेरे पास घर हो,  या न हो  मैं हजारों लोगों की तरह रात आसमान के तले के सोऊं मगर
हर हाल में मुझे तू हसता मुस्कराता रख. मतलब सब्र हौसला मांगा है..

Kamaal hai sahib bahut simple tha.. Magar aaj bahut se log bahut simple shayri chahte hai...  Facebopk pe mere is sher ko saat logon ne umda likha dhero daad di...

Bahut bahut Shukriya  janaab..  Aapne bahut dhyaan se parha hoga...

Shaad o aabaad rahein...
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ShekhchilliG
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«Reply #5 on: February 26, 2017, 04:47:29 PM »
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जी आपने दुरुस्त फरमाया

उमर को 12 पर भी लेते हैं
लेकिन जब अच्छी तक़्तीअ वाली ग़ज़ल हो तो ऐसी बातें कही जा सकती हैं, सब को तो कह नहीं सकते न आजकल।

शायद आप मेरी बात समझ गए हों।

सब पर टिप्पणी नहीं करता। उम्मीद है आप बुरा नहीं माने होंगे

तब्बस्सुम वाला शेर का उला आपने बदल दिया
ख़ुशी हुई

मेरी तरफ से आपके लिए

ये मुस्कान यूं ही रहे इन लबों पर
खुदाया तुम्हें रौशनी हर पहर दे
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aarzoo-e-arjun
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«Reply #6 on: February 26, 2017, 06:55:31 PM »
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Ji bilkul nahi...  Aap sahi hai...  Kog tukbandi karte hai...  Shayad meri tarah...  Kuchh bolo to bura maan jaate hai..

Magar mujhe aapki saafgoi bahut achchi lagi...  Maine positive criticism ko hamesha saraha hai aour usse seekha bhi..  Hai..

Aapka swaagat hai janaab..  Mujhe aapka naam nahi pata....
Ummeed hai aap aage bhi parhte rahenge..  Aor apne sujhaav dete rahenge...

Aarzoo..
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sksaini4
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«Reply #7 on: February 27, 2017, 08:31:47 AM »
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waah waah
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aarzoo-e-arjun
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«Reply #8 on: February 27, 2017, 10:39:01 PM »
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Saini sir aapke rehnumayi me pehle bhi mujhe madad mili thi..  Aor ab bhi mili hai...  Umeed hai..  Aap hamesha ashirwaad dete rahenge..

Bahut bahut Shukriya sir...
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