VISH PYALE -Panna 2:Shayri-E-Dard

ANAAMIKA

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«Reply #15 on: September 05, 2009, 11:21:38 AM »

Surendraji bahut he lajawab sunder shabdo aur upmaao se alankrat kavita hai aapki...Padh kar behad bebasi ka ehsaas hota hai....aapki ye lines tou baar baar padhne ka dil karta hai...
"Chandan tan par bhujango k basere hain
Zakhmo ki dharti par julmo k dere hain
Kismat ki basti mai andhere he andhere hain

Ur mai jalte, fafole hain, Marham par pehre hain
Ghav bahut gehre hain, Har oar saanso k lutere hain"

Clapping Smiley

Quote from: smardia on September 02, 2009, 05:28:22 PM

VISH PYALE

Katoota k vish pyale, Itne pee dale hain
Ki pyaar k jaam, Bhi ab begane lagte hain.
Amrit ki abhilasha bhi, Kab ki he chhod chuke hain
Madhu ka tou swad bhi hum, Kab ka bhool chuke hain

Par Ab garal (poision) pee jiyenge kaise ?
Chandan tan par bhujango k basere hain
Zakhmo ki dharti par julmo k dere hain
Kismat ki basti mai andhere he andhere hain

Ur mai jalte, fafole hain, Marham par pehre hain
Ghav bahut gehre hain, Har oar saanso k lutere hain
Afsos bhagya ki dhaar par, Beksur, kurbaan ho gye
Mukademe bhut lade jeevan bhar Surendra,
Prabhu Ab teri adalat mai aa baree ho gye hum

Surendra Mardia


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smardia

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #16 on: September 07, 2009, 05:56:11 PM »

Anaamikaji aap ka tahe dil se shukriya....
aapne is kavita ko itne gaur se padha aur pratikriya jahir ki....
Aapko achhi lagi kavita safal hui....dhanyawaad

Quote from: ANAAMIKA on September 05, 2009, 11:21:38 AM


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Pooja

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #17 on: September 08, 2009, 04:21:29 PM »

Quote from: smardia on September 03, 2009, 05:18:57 PM

Poojaji aap saath deti hain tou likhne ka hosla badh jaata hai....

Aapne bahut sunder shabdo main likha hai....meri kavita k dard ko bakhoobi pehchana hai aur usi jajbe ko alag shabdo mai jeevan diya hai kahu tou anuchit nahi hoga..bus yu he saath dete rahiye... Clapping Smiley

Apke sath likh kar khud main bahoot acha lagta hai smardia ji!!! App likhte rahe.... aor hume likhna sikhate rahe...
Apko mera likha pasand ayya... tahe dil se shukargujar hu!!


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Pooja

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #18 on: September 08, 2009, 04:22:06 PM »

Quote from: Dhaval on September 03, 2009, 05:19:23 PM

Poojaa jee:

aapne bhee bahot Khuub liKhaa hai! daad!

KhuSh rahe.n... apnaa Khayaal raKhen..

duaaoN ke saath ijaazat

aapka

~ Dhaval

Shukaria Dhaval ji!!! app bhi apna khayal rakhein aor hume achi achi kavita padne ko de!!


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Pooja

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #19 on: September 08, 2009, 04:22:37 PM »

Quote from: jasbirsingh on September 03, 2009, 05:25:39 PM

wah wah pooja ji... bahut hi khoob

jasbir singh

shukaria Jas ji!!


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KOYAL46

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #20 on: September 15, 2009, 09:32:18 AM »

Surendra-ji aap ki kavita k shabd aur bhav oouch koti k hain...Padhne mai maza aata hai...baar baar padhne ko jee chahta hai....Par ye dil ko dukh ki parchhaiyon mai le jaata hai..... Clapping Smiley

Har pal gum aur dard ke mahol mai jeeti hu tearyeyed

Aabhas chehre par muskurahat ka he deti hu Usual Smile

Kyu jaane koi main kya - kya nahi sehti hu sad11

Kaun banta hai dard yhan,yahe salah deti hu NaNaNa

Quote from: smardia on September 02, 2009, 05:28:22 PM


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Talat

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #21 on: September 15, 2009, 12:57:45 PM »

Quote from: smardia on September 02, 2009, 05:28:22 PM

Bohot Khoob Surenda Ji Applause


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Talat

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #22 on: September 15, 2009, 12:58:48 PM »

Quote from: Pooja on September 02, 2009, 10:33:26 PM

wah wah wah kaya baat hai smardia ji....bahoot bahoot khoob... apki shudh hindi... meri jaan le jaati hai... kaise jawab du itani shudh hindi ka ....

Koshish karne ja rahi hu... app jitna acha to nahi... magar jo kalam ne likhwaya wo likhne ja rahi hu..

Sitam, sitam aur zakhm itne hridaya (dil) main simat aaye hai
halak mai rehti hai baat, Lub har baar sile he paaye hai

hoti rehti hai baat hansi ki goonj ke saath, har mehfil mai
bin jazbaaton ke magar, har baar shabd he paaye hai

Deta hai koi zakhm ab to, dil kehta hai chalo ek aur sahi
Khushi ke raasto mai bhi, Ghum he sirf haath aaye hai

Vish pyala bani zindagi, boond boond peete he jaati hai Pooja
har baar mandir mai jaa kar kahe, Lo aaj bhi ansoo ki barsaat mai bheeg aaye hai

Bohot Khoob Pooja


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Talat

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #23 on: September 15, 2009, 12:59:52 PM »

Quote from: KOYAL46 on September 15, 2009, 09:32:18 AM

Surendra-ji aap ki kavita k shabd aur bhav oouch koti k hain...Padhne mai maza aata hai...baar baar padhne ko jee chahta hai....Par ye dil ko dukh ki parchhaiyon mai le jaata hai..... Clapping Smiley

Har pal gum aur dard ke mahol mai jeeti hu tearyeyed

Aabhas chehre par muskurahat ka he deti hu Usual Smile

Kyu jaane koi main kya - kya nahi sehti hu sad11

Kaun banta hai dard yhan,yahe salah deti hu NaNaNa

Nice lines Koyal Ji


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KOYAL46

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #24 on: September 15, 2009, 02:56:40 PM »

Celmira-di kahu ya Sharmeela-dee...?
Aapne meri lines ko saraha...khushi huyee...
Aapka bahut bahut aabhaar.... icon_flower

Quote from: Celmira on September 15, 2009, 12:59:52 PM

Nice lines Koyal Ji


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Talat

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #25 on: September 15, 2009, 03:12:37 PM »

You are welcome. Aap Celmira keh sakti hain.


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smardia

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #26 on: July 29, 2010, 09:00:30 AM »

Maaf kijiyega Koyal-ji.....mein bahut dino se apne threads par aaya he nahi,,,,,
Aapka tahe dil se aabhaar.....aapne samay diya aur rachnaa ko pasand kiya....achha laga....

Quote from: KOYAL46 on September 15, 2009, 09:32:18 AM

Surendra-ji aap ki kavita k shabd aur bhav oouch koti k hain...Padhne mai maza aata hai...baar baar padhne ko jee chahta hai....Par ye dil ko dukh ki parchhaiyon mai le jaata hai..... Clapping Smiley

Har pal gum aur dard ke mahol mai jeeti hu tearyeyed

Aabhas chehre par muskurahat ka he deti hu Usual Smile

Kyu jaane koi main kya - kya nahi sehti hu sad11

Kaun banta hai dard yhan,yahe salah deti hu NaNaNa


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khwahish

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #27 on: July 29, 2010, 09:19:59 AM »

Quote from: smardia on September 02, 2009, 05:28:22 PM

Waah Waah Waah!!!!

Bahut bahut Khoob Smardia Ji..Kya kehne Aapke..bahut hi khoobsurat Kavita..

Pooja Aap to ho hi lajawaab!!! bahut khoob


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*KasaK*....Dil Ki

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #28 on: July 29, 2010, 09:30:22 AM »

aapki ye poem padhke....itne ajeeb si feeling ho rahi surendra ji..k bayaan nahin kar sakti....ye tadap ye ghutan..ye dar ..sab samne aagaya ......
wakai me wordings and feelings kya khub likhe hain aapne...


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smardia

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Re: VISH PYALE

«Reply #29 on: July 29, 2010, 04:28:24 PM »

Thanks Anamikaji.....
aapne poem ko feel kiya..........
Bhaav aur shabdon ne dil ko chhuaa......
DOOB GAYEE AAP KAVITA ME.......
Kavi ka dard mehsoos kiya aapne......

Quote from: *KasaK*....Dil Ki on July 29, 2010, 09:30:22 AM


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