IT wonder...

hahahaha...gr8 rishi ji

**
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording, monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Helpdesk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations)!
**
"Ridge Hall Computer Assistance, may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away".

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won! 't accept anything when I type.

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you  put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power . . . A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer."
**

**
Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Hewlett Packard,we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Apple Computer, Inc. we don't pee on our hands."
**

   :lol:  :lol:  ^^

COSTELLO & ABBOT ..... contd....
**
Costello:  Hey, Abbott!
Abbot:  Yes, Lou?

Costello:  I just got my first computer.
Abbot:  That's great Lou. What did you get?

Costello:  A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbot:  That's terrific, Lou.

Costello:  But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbot:  You will in time.

Costello:  That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbot:  Oh?

Costello:  I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbot:  Well, I don't know-

Costello:  Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.
Abbot:  Really?

Costello:  Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbot:  O.K. Lou. What do want to know?

Costello:  I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbot:  That's true.

Costello:  So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbot:  Well, first you press the Start button, and then-

Costello:  No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbot:  I know, you press the Start button-

Costello:  Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbot:  I did.

Costello:  When?
Abbot:  When I told you to press the Start button.

Costello:  Why should I press the Start button?
Abbot:  To shut off the computer.

Costello:  I press Start to stop.
Abbot:  Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.

Costello:  I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbot:  Start

Costello:  Start what?
Abbot:  Start button.

Costello:  Start button to do what?
Abbot:  Shut down.

Costello:  You don't have to get rude!
Abbot:  No, no, no! That's not what I meant.

Costello:  Then say what you mean.
Abbot:  To shut down the computer, press-

Costello:  Don't say, "Start!"
Abbot:  Then what do you want me to say?

Costello:  Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbot:  But that's what you do.

Costello:  And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbot:  Don't be ridiculous.

Costello:  I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation.
Abbot:  What are you talking about?

Costello:  I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.
**