~!*_I M WITH U_*!~:English

badnaam_shayar

Guest

Whenever i feel Alone.....
No One is With me......

But i m always be with u.....
Like a Leaf always held by the Tree.....

I Always Stand out in the Cold Nights.....
But there is nobody that can give me shower of warm eye sights.....

Looking at the Ground and thinking abt the Sky.....
Hold my Hands....Darling...I wan to Fly......!!!!!!!!


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deepika_divya

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~!*_I M WITH U_*!~

«Reply #1 on: February 21, 2007, 08:19:47 AM »

Wow ! it's amazing sweetu.


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Shikha12

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~!*_I M WITH U_*!~

«Reply #2 on: February 21, 2007, 10:28:15 AM »

Great..... Very nice Gaurav... =D>
Keep it Up... Usual Smile


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Talat

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~!*_I M WITH U_*!~

«Reply #3 on: February 21, 2007, 11:28:59 AM »

Very nice Gaurav......Keep it up !! Usual Smile

Just a suggestion (Hope you wont mind !!)

In your second line:

Quote from: "badnaam_shayar"

Like a Leaf always holded by the Tree.....

It should be "held" as holded is not a real and correct word...!!

I really liked your poem..so telling this !


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badnaam_shayar

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«Reply #4 on: February 21, 2007, 11:35:34 AM »

Quote from: "Talat"

Very nice Gaurav......Keep it up !! Usual Smile

Just a suggestion (Hope you wont mind !!)

In your second line:

Quote from: "badnaam_shayar"

Like a Leaf always holded by the Tree.....

It should be "held" as holded is not a real and correct word...!!

I really liked your poem..so telling this !

ohh thnx a lot Talat....Excitement me dhayan nahi rehta.... :wink: :wink:


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sonal

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«Reply #5 on: February 21, 2007, 12:34:13 PM »

good one..................... :wink: :wink: [-o< [-o< [-o< =D> =D>


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Tosha

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Re: ~!*_I M WITH U_*!~

«Reply #6 on: February 23, 2007, 09:47:39 PM »

Quote from: "badnaam_shayar"

whenever i feel alone and no one is there with me
i know i bind with you like a leaf held by the tree

i stand out in the cold night hoping for warm eyes shining bright
looking at the groung and thinking about the sky's delight

hold my hands, my darling, hold my hands and bid 'goodbye'
in your love i spread my wings and i want to fly.


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Tosha

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~!*_I M WITH U_*!~

«Reply #7 on: February 23, 2007, 10:30:49 PM »

BD ... hope you don't mind ... i really loved your idea and as i had talked to you i felt rephrasing the poem could make a diff to the poem ... so i'v just tried to put some extra words to your poem ... trying my best to be as original as possible trying not to change the original meaning.

other poets are also invited and welcomed to comment on what i'v done ... and if someone thinks it is not a rt thing to de plz ... feel free to let me know.

I wish every poet who writes in english ... The Best keep trying ... i love to read every english poem.


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Shikha12

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Re: ~!*_I M WITH U_*!~

«Reply #8 on: February 26, 2007, 11:14:09 AM »

Quote from: "Tosha"

That's really very beautiful Tosha...

Gaurav had created a dream world by giving some very true and nice feelings and you have added some beautiful and meaningful words to his feelings... The Outcome is just Marvellous... =D> =D>

And yes, I am waiting your feelings along with your words also... Come On... Write Something... Usual Smile

We are waiting.. Usual Smile


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badnaam_shayar

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Re: ~!*_I M WITH U_*!~

«Reply #9 on: February 26, 2007, 11:49:03 AM »

Quote from: "Tosha"

Quote from: "badnaam_shayar"

Just WOW Tosha.....Really Amazing.....Hatts off for u dear....!!!!


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Tosha

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«Reply #10 on: February 26, 2007, 02:16:24 PM »

Hats off fror you Baaba!! the feelings in the poem are really nice. :D


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deepika_divya

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«Reply #11 on: February 27, 2007, 07:46:28 AM »

Ya its really sweet written by u Tosha . keep it up.. Ya hope u will write more on this topic,...


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sanya310

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«Reply #12 on: March 09, 2007, 06:15:16 PM »

amazing work gaurav n tosha!! :D beautiful emotions!


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