ocean 11

by o star on October 29, 2008, 09:44:27 PM

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Miscellaneous Shayri > English > Topic: ocean 11

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o star

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feel the breeze of the ocean tide the waves crashin side to side feeling as if your n a roller coster ride how low can u scoop lower than the bottom of the ocean u no u call wat u wear fashion ive think uve lost ur passion


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o star

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Re: ocean 11

«Reply #1 on: October 29, 2008, 09:48:19 PM »

Quote from: o star on October 29, 2008, 09:44:27 PM


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dead heart

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Re: ocean 11

«Reply #2 on: November 01, 2008, 09:28:34 PM »

Quote from: o star on October 29, 2008, 09:44:27 PM

perhaps i dnt have the rite to crticize but ill say sumthn...please use the punctuation marks...to separate sentences and so dat each sentence gives it own meanin with its depth....


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sanya310

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Re: ocean 11

«Reply #3 on: November 19, 2008, 05:39:55 PM »

heyy..thats a nice one..but i do agree with dead heart about the punctuation and seperating the lines u know..
do keep writing!

ps-*moved to proper section*