Recovery

by Tosha on October 17, 2007, 02:20:51 AM
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Tosha
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They broke up my ribs
And took my heart away
I was distressed, devastated
I know, I know nothing
Was I breathing, was I alive

I can hear it beat
It’s beating all over again
I hear the song I sing
I hear the singing
Am I breathing, am I alive

I was an absconded orphan
I have a shelter now to sleep
I cried tears that burnt my skin
My lips feel a smile, no more I weep
I am breathing all over again, I am alive





It hasn't  come out wt i realy wanted it to be... but i'd still love to share it!!
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Roja
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«Reply #1 on: October 25, 2007, 07:40:42 AM »
Hey.. Tosha.. Fantasic dear. I am surprised how this one went un.noticed by me... Very good. i liked this very much. Keep it up
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no_good_stranger
Guest
«Reply #2 on: October 26, 2007, 03:47:54 PM »
(if i've translated correctly then)

the many children who walk the street
cold nights they spend witout any heat

broken souls i see through weeping eyes
there dreams shattered by unfullfilled lies

who knows what abuse they fought
when only shelter and love they sought

thru all adversities,they walk with hope
amidst deprevation they learn to cope

at each sunrise they stand to pray
that maybe,just maybe,its will be a better day

(unless the brilliance of this poem,is in its ambiguity,you did loose a little rythm though,if you dont mind me saying)
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Roja
Guest
«Reply #3 on: November 25, 2007, 11:52:55 AM »
Quote from: "no_good_stranger"
(if i've translated correctly then)

the many children who walk the street
cold nights they spend witout any heat

broken souls i see through weeping eyes
there dreams shattered by unfullfilled lies

who knows what abuse they fought
when only shelter and love they sought

thru all adversities,they walk with hope
amidst deprevation they learn to cope

at each sunrise they stand to pray
that maybe,just maybe,its will be a better day

(unless the brilliance of this poem,is in its ambiguity,you did loose a little rythm though,if you dont mind me saying)


Well... good to read those touchy emotional lines.
and ofcourse with rythm.... nice job stranger  :D
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no_good_stranger
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«Reply #4 on: November 25, 2007, 01:50:29 PM »
thanks for the appreciation Roja
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Roja
Guest
«Reply #5 on: December 09, 2007, 01:59:41 PM »
Welcome Sir
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