The Cloudy Sky:English

Neepobithi

Guest

The Cloudy Sky

Killer Eyes;
Sitting in a car,
Looking at the moving sky,
I find you staring down
With misty eyes,
My heart dives,
Soul pulpates.
You are so endearing.
The lake Hamana
Mirrors my love,
Eternal, forever.

Beckoning Hands;
Your hands are
Like wings,
Mingling with cloud
Beckoning me.
I crane my head
Up- above,
Eager to fly
With none but thee.

Dewy Lips;
Why are you
So melancholy?
Just look at me.
Your Cherry lips
Are wet like
Dewy blossoms.
In them, marooned,
Alone I am.

Flattering Curls;
Some wild black curls
Caress your forehead,
Silver mists glisten,
Awe struck I am.
Arrow shot heart
Quiver to listen
Whisper from your hair
Calling me, “Oh dear!”


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AbhiTamrakar

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Re: The Cloudy Sky

«Reply #1 on: September 28, 2010, 11:51:08 AM »

phrases needs to be come along words; shld be coupled well...overall

a nice try with gud feel~


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aiina

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''aiina707''

Posts: 72
Member Since: Aug 2010

Re: The Cloudy Sky

«Reply #2 on: September 29, 2010, 04:44:56 AM »

..good composition..cool ..smacks of romanticism...picturesque quality in the poem is impressive..keep up the good work!!!!


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Neepobithi

Guest

Re: The Cloudy Sky

«Reply #3 on: September 30, 2010, 10:00:45 AM »

Thanks Abhi and Aiina. I was holidaying in Japan. This poem I wrote while moving in a tourist car, while the partial cloudy sky above the beautiful landscape made me spellbound.I wanted to share it in few words, thanks again.


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AbhiTamrakar

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Re: The Cloudy Sky

«Reply #4 on: September 30, 2010, 10:12:47 AM »

welcome jiii...have a nice holidays~


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Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shayri for Khumar -e- Ishq > English > Topic: The Cloudy Sky