|
zidd
Guest
|
aaj kuch aur bhi sitam honge
aaina hoga ya to hum honge
mohteram ho gaye kharaaboN me
aadmi hum kharaab kam honge
gum nahi aashiko ko gum ka koi
gum na hone ke bhi to gum honge
bekhudi me pakad liya daman
ru ba ru aaj sab bharam honge
zidd ko huure bhi mili hai paitees
kuch to zidd ke gunah kam honge |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
aiina
Shayarana Mizaaj
Rau: 0
 Offline
Gender: 
Waqt Bitaya:1 days, 10 hours and 29 minutes.
''aiina707''
Posts: 72 Member Since: Aug 2010
|
 |
«Reply #1 on: September 13, 2010, 05:59:54 AM » |
|
bhaut khoob likha hai aapne
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
tamanna.pt
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #2 on: September 13, 2010, 07:37:35 AM » |
|
Bahut khoobsurat likha hai aapne Zidd ji. 3rd sher bahut pasand aaya mujhe.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
.adeeb
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #3 on: September 13, 2010, 08:14:44 AM » |
|
Janab Zidd sb. ek achhi n murassa ghazal aapne kahi hai. Daad hazir hai. Bas aakhri sher ka misra ula beher se kharij hai. Ummid hai bura nahi manenge.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
zidd
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #4 on: September 13, 2010, 09:13:48 AM » |
|
bhaut khoob likha hai aapne
aaiina ji...hausla afzaaii ka bahut shukriya milte rahiye |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
zidd
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #5 on: September 13, 2010, 09:14:48 AM » |
|
Bahut khoobsurat likha hai aapne Zidd ji. 3rd sher bahut pasand aaya mujhe. tamanaji aadaab.... ghazal ke pazirai ke liye shukriya.... milte rahiye |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
zidd
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #6 on: September 13, 2010, 09:31:41 AM » |
|
Janab Zidd sb. ek achhi n murassa ghazal aapne kahi hai. Daad hazir hai. Bas aakhri sher ka misra ula beher se kharij hai. Ummid hai bura nahi manenge.
adeeb ji...aapki daad sar ankho par... aur bura maanane wali to koi baat nahi hai... bus wazn se out kaise hai maqte ka ulaa samjh nahi aaya? zidd 2 / ko 1 / huu 2 / re.n 2 / bhi 1 / mi 2 / li 1 / hai 2 / pai 2 / tis 2 ya ( pai 2 / tee 2 / s 1)....jaisa bhi jo pade... so aitraaz samajh nahi aaya sahab.... magar bahut accha lagta hai jab koi itni baariki se dekhta hai...aisa lagta hai ki mehnat safal ho gayi... apka bahut bahut shukriya ..adeeb sahab |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
zidd
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #8 on: September 13, 2010, 03:00:49 PM » |
|
good one zidd ji....
aese hi likhte rahiyega.....   thanks thikhatke ji......... thanks for the encouragement regards |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Anshumali
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #9 on: September 13, 2010, 03:12:41 PM » |
|
aaj kuch aur bhi sitam honge
aaina hoga ya to hum honge
mohteram ho gaye kharaaboN me
aadmi hum kharaab kam honge
gum nahi aashiko ko gum ka koi
gum na hone ke bhi to gum honge
bekhudi me pakad liya daman
ru ba ru aaj sab bharam honge
zidd ko huure bhi mili hai paitees
kuch to zidd ke gunah kam honge Zidd Sahab ... Yoindia Me aapka swaagat hai... aapko yaha dekhkar behad khushi hui ... yaha kuch bahut accha likhne wale hai... phir bhi aapki zarurat humesha nazar aati thi...sameer ji se me aksar kehta tha.... aapki nayi peshkash ....outstanding hai ... chhoti behr me jis khoobsurti se FikR-o-khayal ko bayaan kiya hai....aur jis rawaangi se ghazal matle se maqte tak gai hai...padhte hi banta hai.... Very Impressive .... Very Nice Creation.... tahe dil se daad hazir hai... aise hi behtar kalaamoN ke saath humesha aate rahen... likhte rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen... duaaon ke saath... |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
zidd
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #10 on: September 13, 2010, 03:35:50 PM » |
|
Zidd Sahab ... Yoindia Me aapka swaagat hai... aapko yaha dekhkar behad khushi hui ... yaha kuch bahut accha likhne wale hai... phir bhi aapki zarurat humesha nazar aati thi...sameer ji se me aksar kehta tha....
aapki nayi peshkash ....outstanding hai ... chhoti behr me jis khoobsurti se FikR-o-khayal ko bayaan kiya hai....aur jis rawaangi se ghazal matle se maqte tak gai hai...padhte hi banta hai....
Very Impressive .... Very Nice Creation....
tahe dil se daad hazir hai...
aise hi behtar kalaamoN ke saath humesha aate rahen... likhte rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen...
duaaon ke saath...
aapke is aadar se ankhen nam ho gayi... sameer ji ne hi mujhe ye site refer ki hai... aur aapki haula afzaaii ki qadr to hamesha dil me rahti hai.... aapka bahut bahut shukriya naresh ji deep regards |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
aaina
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #11 on: September 13, 2010, 04:13:32 PM » |
|
Zidd sahab khusaamdeed, Yoindia meiN aapka tahe dil se khairmaqdam hai aapke kalaamoN se waafiyat hai mashaAllah aap bhut hi khoob kehte haiN ye yoindia ki khushnaseebi hai ke aap jaise sukhanfehem, zihaanotN ke maalik is bazm ki ronaq ban rahe haiN mujhay umeed hai ke na sirf hum sab log jo ki is bazm mai talib e ilm ki hasiyat rakhte hain wo aapke kalamoN se mustafeed honge bilke unhe bhut kuch seekhne ko bhi milega rehnumaii ke saath saath mera bhi shumaar unhi talib ilm mai hai nawaazte rahiye hamesha khush rahiye
ab baat aapki ghazal ki mashaAllah se bhut hi khoob matla kaha hai aapne hazaaron daad is matle ki nazr baaqi ke aashar bhi bhut hi khoob rahe dili daad qubool keejiye apne is kalaam ke liyN, umeed hai aap apne qeemti kalaamoN se yuNhi nawaazte rahenge
aslam
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
*KasaK*....Dil Ki
Poetic Patrol
Umda Shayar
Rau: 19
Offline
Gender:
Waqt Bitaya:67 days, 9 hours and 25 minutes.
"I hv a prsnality wch evrybdy cn't handle
Posts: 5603 Member Since: Jun 2010
|
|
|
«Reply #13 on: September 13, 2010, 07:35:20 PM » |
|
wahhhhhhhh......yahan to bht tareef ho rahi hain aapki Zidd ji....
achcha laga dekhkar k app yahan aaye....aapka swagat hai iss shayri aur shayron ki duniya me..aur ummeedd karte hain k aapko padhkar bht kuch sikhne milega hum sab ko...
waise ye 1st gazal hai jo maine padhi hai aapki..par sab itni tareef kar rahe hain to yakinan aap bht umda shayar honge...abhi parwaz ji se aapke baare me jana..
cchote muh badi baatein keh di maaf kijiyega...
umeed hai aap hume apni gazlon aur nazmon se yunhi milwate rahenge...
rahi iss gazal ki baat to sach me ye bht hi mast hai......
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
waquif ansari
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #14 on: September 14, 2010, 06:09:45 AM » |
|
Janab Zidd Saheb! Adab! Aapka yoindia pe khushaamdeed aur inteqbaal karte hain. Aapki ye ghazal hai k jaadoo ka piTara hai. Aik aik sher kamaal-e-fun ka namoona hai. Ghazal ke chand hi ash-aar hain is liye tashnagi barqaraar hai. Chhoti bahr mein ye kamaal ki ghazal hai jo dil par nihaayat lateef chhaap chhoRti chali jaati hai. Aisi purmaghz, puracer, sehranges and murassa ghazal ke liye aap mubaarakbaad ke mustahaq haiN aur hazaaroN daad ke bhi. Main aik cheez yahan point out karne ki jasaarat kar raha hooN woh yeh ki aap apne maqte ka micra oola dekh leN, mujhe ye meter mein nahin lag raha hai. Hum ummeed karte haiN ke aap is bazm ki raunaq baRhate rahenge. Jahan bhi rahiye khush rahiye, aabaad rahiye. (Waquif Ansari) aaj kuch aur bhi sitam honge
aaina hoga ya to hum honge
mohteram ho gaye kharaaboN me
aadmi hum kharaab kam honge
gum nahi aashiko ko gum ka koi
gum na hone ke bhi to gum honge
bekhudi me pakad liya daman
ru ba ru aaj sab bharam honge
zidd ko huure bhi mili hai paitees
kuch to zidd ke gunah kam honge |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
on eTI community..
