Guzar jaayengey hijra-o-gam dheerey-dheerey!

by abdbundeli on March 10, 2009, 01:02:34 PM
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abdbundeli
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Dhuwaan hat rahaa hai, sanam, dheerey-dheerey!
Guzar jaayengey hijra-o-gam dheerey-dheerey!!

Qareebee they, par door they fir bhi itney?
Qareeb aa rahey hain ab ham dheerey-dheerey!

Abhi do safeenoun ki buniyaad hain ham;
Miteyngey alhadii key kham dheerey-dheerey!

Nasheyman hai un kaa, talabgaar hain ham;
Rahheyngey dagar mein qadam dheerey-dheerey!

Wafaaoun key gouhar, nigaahoun mein hongey;
Ghateygaa diloun mein waham dheerey-dheerey!

Lagaa deejiye gamgusaaree key faahey;
Dikhaayegi jalwah marham dheerey-dheerey!

Hateyngey sarahadoun key yeh faasley fir;
Fasaadaat hongey khatam dheerey-dheerey!

Rafaaqat rafaahat mein hongey izaafey;
Mileyngey galey lag balam dheerey-dheerey!

Urhaayengey fir khaak key khusk baadal,
Rawaan qaafiley dam-b-dam dheerey-dheerey!

Phuhaareyn muhabbat kii harsoo gireyngeen;
Dafaa hongey ranz-o-alam dheerey-dheerey!

‘Abd’, dushmanee ashk ban kar baheygee;
Raqaabat badhhee, hogi kam dheerey-dheerey!

                              - abd bundeli
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Talat
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«Reply #1 on: March 10, 2009, 08:07:23 PM »
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 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Bohot hi Khoob, Babu Ji !!

Aap ki ye ghazal padh ke mujhe apni likhi hui ek purani shayari yaad aa gayi:

"Dheere dheere" by Celmira

Aapki is behtareen ghazal ke saamne ye be-maani si lagti hai, phir bhi post kiye bina na reh paayi  DOH


Bhar jaayega ye mera zakhm dheere dheere
Mit jaayega dil se har bharam dheere dheere

Kasak uthti hai seene main paas aane ki tere
Bujh jaayegi har aas sanam dheere dheere

Kuch aur nashtar chala, abhi chhalni nahin seena
Kuch aur mujhpe karde karam dheere dheere

Kya hua jo zakhmon se hai choor ye zindagi
Aa jaayega Khuda ko reham dheere dheere

Maut hi se mayassar ho shayad sukoon mujhko
Door zindagi se ho jaayega ghum dheere dheere
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #2 on: March 11, 2009, 05:09:27 AM »
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Quote from: Celmira on March 10, 2009, 08:07:23 PM
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Bohot hi Khoob, Babu Ji !!

Aap ki ye ghazal padh ke mujhe apni likhi hui ek purani shayari yaad aa gayi:

"Dheere dheere" by Celmira

Aapki is behtareen ghazal ke saamne ye be-maani si lagti hai, phir bhi post kiye bina na reh paayi  DOH


Bhar jaayega ye mera zakhm dheere dheere
Mit jaayega dil se har bharam dheere dheere

Kasak uthti hai seene main paas aane ki tere
Bujh jaayegi har aas sanam dheere dheere

Kuch aur nashtar chala, abhi chhalni nahin seena
Kuch aur mujhpe karde karam dheere dheere

Kya hua jo zakhmon se hai choor ye zindagi
Aa jaayega Khuda ko reham dheere dheere

Maut hi se mayassar ho shayad sukoon mujhko
Door zindagi se ho jaayega ghum dheere dheere
Celmira bitia! Shukriyah!
The development of thoughts and presentation is commendable! Many poets have composed gazals with 'dheere-dheere'  radeef, but with different (or even similar) 'kaafia'! It's lovely! Is sey eik din pahley, mein ney 'dheere-dheere' radeef par eik aur gazal post kee thee!
                         - abd bundeli
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Talat
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«Reply #3 on: March 11, 2009, 01:23:32 PM »
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You are absolutely right, Babu Ji.... I read your other ghazal on "Dheere dheere" radeef...and it is completely different...It's really wonderful to read such contrast creations having a similar qafiya and radeef....!!
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #4 on: March 11, 2009, 01:28:55 PM »
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Quote from: Celmira on March 11, 2009, 01:23:32 PM
You are absolutely right, Babu Ji.... I read your other ghazal on "Dheere dheere" radeef...and it is completely different...It's really wonderful to read such contrast creations having a similar qafiya and radeef....!!
Thanks! I'm happy you read it!
            - abd bundeli
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divyam
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«Reply #5 on: March 15, 2009, 05:38:21 AM »
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Quote from: abdbundeli on March 10, 2009, 01:02:34 PM
Dhuwaan hat rahaa hai, sanam, dheerey-dheerey!
Guzar jaayengey hijra-o-gam dheerey-dheerey!!

Qareebee they, par door they fir bhi itney?
Qareeb aa rahey hain ab ham dheerey-dheerey!

Abhi do safeenoun ki buniyaad hain ham;
Miteyngey alhadii key kham dheerey-dheerey!

Nasheyman hai un kaa, talabgaar hain ham;
Rahheyngey dagar mein qadam dheerey-dheerey!

Wafaaoun key gouhar, nigaahoun mein hongey;
Ghateygaa diloun mein waham dheerey-dheerey!

Lagaa deejiye gamgusaaree key faahey;
Dikhaayegi jalwah marham dheerey-dheerey!

Hateyngey sarahadoun key yeh faasley fir;
Fasaadaat hongey khatam dheerey-dheerey!

Rafaaqat rafaahat mein hongey izaafey;
Mileyngey galey lag balam dheerey-dheerey!

Urhaayengey fir khaak key khusk baadal,
Rawaan qaafiley dam-b-dam dheerey-dheerey!

Phuhaareyn muhabbat kii harsoo gireyngeen;
Dafaa hongey ranz-o-alam dheerey-dheerey!

‘Abd’, dushmanee ashk ban kar baheygee;
Raqaabat badhhee, hogi kam dheerey-dheerey!

                              - abd bundeli


abad saahab,

pranaam:

aap ki Ghazal behad achchhi lagii...... daad qubool keejiiyega.. aap ne jo radeef chuna hai 'dheere dheere' woh behad hi achchhi hai, aur isi behr me.n par isi radeef ke saath hamne bhi ek muslasal Ghazal kahii thi, jo hame behad pasand hai, aaj aap ki Ghazal nazar-nawaaz huii to hame hamaari Ghazal yaad aa gaii....

aap ki yeh  khuub-suurat tehreer bebhad behad pasand aaii, ek baar aur hamaari aur se daad aur mubaaraq baad qubool keejiye...aur yuu.nn hi apni Ghazalo.n ki raunaq se bazm me.n sargarmi banaaye rakhiye.....  Usual Smile

aap ka

Mayank
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Roja
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«Reply #6 on: March 15, 2009, 06:48:12 AM »
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Bahut khoob Abd ji... Bahut umda likha hai aapne.. Applause Applause

Wonderful lines from yr end too Celmira dear...  Applause
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #7 on: March 15, 2009, 08:54:08 AM »
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Quote from: Ghaafil on March 15, 2009, 05:38:21 AM
abad saahab,
pranaam:
aap ki Ghazal behad achchhi lagii...... daad qubool keejiiyega.. aap ne jo radeef chuna hai 'dheere dheere' woh behad hi achchhi hai, aur isi behr me.n par isi radeef ke saath hamne bhi ek muslasal Ghazal kahii thi, jo hame behad pasand hai, aaj aap ki Ghazal nazar-nawaaz huii to hame hamaari Ghazal yaad aa gaii....

aap ki yeh  khuub-suurat tehreer bebhad behad pasand aaii, ek baar aur hamaari aur se daad aur mubaaraq baad qubool keejiye...aur yuu.nn hi apni Ghazalo.n ki raunaq se bazm me.n sargarmi banaaye rakhiye.....  Usual Smile
aap ka
Mayank

Shukriyah, Mayank Ji! WOH aapko khush rakhey, aabaad rakhey!
Ho saktaa hai aapki gazal bhi mein ney padhhee ho; aur waheen sey 'dheerey-dheerey' radeef meyrey zeyhn mein utree ho!!
                                     - abd bundeli
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #8 on: March 15, 2009, 08:58:47 AM »
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Quote from: Roja on March 15, 2009, 06:48:12 AM
Bahut khoob Abd ji... Bahut umda likha hai aapne.. Applause Applause

Wonderful lines from yr end too Celmira dear...  Applause
Thanks you a lot, Roja ji! Aap ko gazal achchhee lagee: mujhey khushee huyee!
              - abd bundeli
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