Giving Yourself Advice

by Pooja on August 25, 2005, 11:09:10 AM
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Pooja
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Giving Yourself Advice

When considering a difficulty faced by a friend, the solution frequently comes to us easily. In looking at our own troubles, however, our vision can become clouded because we see our problems through the veil of our emotions, opinions, worries, and personal experiences. Because of this, it is no simple matter to give yourself advice. It is hard to step out of your mindset to view your conundrum with a fresh eye. One technique that can aid you in examining your problems from multiple, objective angles, involves imagining yourself helping a friend work through the same difficulty. In doing so, you have the opportunity to formulate a thoughtful, and a caring course of action that is often easier to follow than advice from another source.

Begin by looking at your circumstance by stepping outside of yourself, and then shift your perspective to look at it as you would if a treasured friend was in the same situation. If you like, you can even go so far as to have an imaginary conversation with the "friend", speaking gently, reassuringly, and uncritically. Think about what reaction their problem evokes in you. If you are you driven to tell them that things will look up or that good will come from it eventually, do so. Offer advice rooted both in common sense and in compassion. After you have looked at the problem from a remote perspective, let yourself once again view it from your personal perspective. Offer the same reassurances to yourself that you offered to your hypothetical friend. Your encouraging words and suggestions will likely feel like they came from a trusted advisor and an impartial observer.

All in all, your advice to yourself, even if difficult, will be easier to take if conceived of objectively. Giving yourself guidance in this manner is a way to contemplate a problem without strong emotional involvement, to come up with confident solutions, and to soothe your troubled soul.

What do you think?
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