*Kismath Malamalon Ki*

by Roja on February 04, 2009, 03:19:09 PM
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Roja
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Maal lagakar maal badaye kismat malamalon ki
Baat na pooche koyi aakar hum jaise kangalon ki

Kismat ka yeh pher bhi dekho raat mein sooraj din mein chand
Raja Vikram laashen doye, jungle mein betalon ki

Jaada, Garmi, Bersaaton ke mausam se kuch aage bhi
Ek aur ruth desh mein mere aati hai hadtalon ki

Lekhpaal ka haal na poocho M.A. karke aaya hai
Khasra aur khitouni likkhe bina kiye padtalon ki

Yu toh sir ko mundwate hi oole bhi pad jaate hain
Lekin, log prashansha ker dete hain kale baalon ki

Gumnami ke kone mein hum pade huye hain muddat se
Koyi to sudh le ab aakar hum jaise behalon ki..

 
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«Reply #1 on: February 04, 2009, 04:33:00 PM »
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bahot khoob! bhaot ahche! lihktay raheeyay!
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Azeem Azaad
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«Reply #2 on: February 04, 2009, 05:57:52 PM »
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NIce One Roja Didi,.
Bohat Hi Badhiya Hai,.
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Talat
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«Reply #3 on: February 04, 2009, 06:14:17 PM »
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Bohot Khoob Roja Applause Applause
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Roja
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«Reply #4 on: February 05, 2009, 03:53:16 PM »
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Quote from: anjaan dharkan on February 04, 2009, 04:33:00 PM
bahot khoob! bhaot ahche! lihktay raheeyay!

Thanks Anjaani
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Roja
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«Reply #5 on: February 05, 2009, 03:54:18 PM »
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Quote from: Jaanasheen on February 04, 2009, 05:57:52 PM
NIce One Roja Didi,.
Bohat Hi Badhiya Hai,.


Thank you very much Azeem...  Usual Smile
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Roja
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«Reply #6 on: February 05, 2009, 04:13:27 PM »
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Quote from: Celmira on February 04, 2009, 06:14:17 PM
Bohot Khoob Roja Applause Applause

Thanks dear talat
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #7 on: February 09, 2009, 03:15:57 PM »
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Quote from: Roja on February 04, 2009, 03:19:09 PM
Maal lagakar maal badaye kismat malamalon ki
Baat na pooche koyi aakar hum jaise kangalon ki

Kismat ka yeh pher bhi dekho raat mein sooraj din mein chand
Raja Vikram laashen doye, jungle mein betalon ki

Jaada, Garmi, Bersaaton ke mausam se kuch aage bhi
Ek aur ruth desh mein mere aati hai hadtalon ki

Lekhpaal ka haal na poocho M.A. karke aaya hai
Khasra aur khitouni likkhe bina kiye padtalon ki

Yu toh sir ko mundwate hi oole bhi pad jaate hain
Lekin, log prashansha ker dete hain kale baalon ki

Gumnami ke kone mein hum pade huye hain muddat se
Koyi to sudh le ab aakar hum jaise behalon ki..

Bahut hi badhhiyaa 'irony' kaa isteymaal kiyaa gayaa hai! Stanzas ki laainoun mein lagbhag eik-saa wazan hai! Aap tarannum mein gaa saktey hain! Rhyming scheme bhi qaabil-e-ta'areef hai!
Aisee achchhii kavitaayen yoindia par kam hi dekhney ko milteen hain! Badhaayee!
                - abd bundeli
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Roja
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«Reply #8 on: February 09, 2009, 03:27:19 PM »
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Quote from: abdbundeli on February 09, 2009, 03:15:57 PM
Bahut hi badhhiyaa 'irony' kaa isteymaal kiyaa gayaa hai! Stanzas ki laainoun mein lagbhag eik-saa wazan hai! Aap tarannum mein gaa saktey hain! Rhyming scheme bhi qaabil-e-ta'areef hai!
Aisee achchhii kavitaayen yoindia par kam hi dekhney ko milteen hain! Badhaayee!
                - abd bundeli

Bahut bahut shukriya Abd Sir ji.. Aapne pehli bar mere likhe
pe comment kiya. I am really very happy. Aapne mujhe jaisa
kaha waisa corrections b kiya hai. Yu hi mujhe mujhe aap
sikhakar apne jaisa karna
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #9 on: February 09, 2009, 03:33:32 PM »
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Quote from: Roja on February 09, 2009, 03:27:19 PM
Bahut bahut shukriya Abd Sir ji.. Aapne pehli bar mere likhe
pe comment kiya. I am really very happy. Aapne mujhe jaisa
kaha waisa corrections b kiya hai. Yu hi mujhe mujhe aap
sikhakar apne jaisa karna
You're welcome! Thanks!
      - abd bundeli
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