Geet k alfaz...

by brokenbyluv on February 18, 2011, 11:02:09 PM
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brokenbyluv
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Tujh sang is zindgi ko jina merra ik khuab hai...R

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Aaj main likhu kya k mujhe lafz milte nhi,
main churau kya jab chaman mein phool khilte nhi,

kurede jate hai wahi zakhm hamesha,
jinke ghaaw asani se silte nhi,

jazbato k bahav mein vo jahaz bhi doob jate hai,
jo tez tufano mein bhi hilte nhi,

jane kaise pi lete hai vo gamo k dariya..
jinse khushi k ansu apni ankho mein jhilte nhi.........

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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #1 on: February 19, 2011, 12:41:45 AM »
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BBL jee Aadaab!

Achche lafz hai.... But Geet ke alfaaz nahi Geet ke
ahsaas hone chahiye.... Jo kabhi siyaa to kabhi sunhere .. Kabhi khushnumaa to kabhi dardbhare hote hai... Usual Smile

Wel third ashaar is too good ...
Daad kabool kijiye...

Khush O aabaad rahiye..
Khuda Hafez... Usual Smile         

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Anshumali
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«Reply #2 on: February 19, 2011, 12:51:28 AM »
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Aaj main likhu kya k mujhe lafz milte nhi,
main churau kya jab chaman mein phool khilte nhi,

kurede jate hai wahi zakhm hamesha,
jinke ghaaw asani se silte nhi,

jazbato k bahav mein vo jahaz bhi doob jate hai,
jo tez tufano mein bhi hilte nhi,

jane kaise pi lete hai vo gamo k dariya..
jinse khushi k ansu apni ankho mein jhilte nhi.........


Very Impressive Lines .... Very Touching ...... broken ji !

Good Expression ..... Very Nice poetry ... dil se daad !
Applause Applause Applause
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Sheba
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«Reply #3 on: February 19, 2011, 01:01:15 AM »
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Aaj main likhu kya k mujhe lafz milte nhi,
main churau kya jab chaman mein phool khilte nhi,

kurede jate hai wahi zakhm hamesha,
jinke ghaaw asani se silte nhi,

jazbato k bahav mein vo jahaz bhi doob jate hai,
jo tez tufano mein bhi hilte nhi,

jane kaise pi lete hai vo gamo k dariya..
jinse khushi k ansu apni ankho mein jhilte nhi.........




bahut bahut bahut bahut umda 
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khamosh_aawaaz
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zindagi tu kaisi hai

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«Reply #4 on: February 19, 2011, 02:25:23 AM »
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Aaj main likhu kya k mujhe lafz milte nhi,
main churau kya jab chaman mein phool khilte nhi,

kurede jate hai wahi zakhm hamesha,
jinke ghaaw asani se silte nhi,

jazbato k bahav mein vo jahaz bhi doob jate hai,
jo tez tufano mein bhi hilte nhi,

jane kaise pi lete hai vo gamo k dariya..
jinse khushi k ansu apni ankho mein jhilte nhi.........



NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAICE ONE BBL
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manzil-e-ishq
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«Reply #5 on: February 19, 2011, 11:17:44 AM »
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bht khoob geet ji....
i lyk last one alot...
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manjum
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«Reply #6 on: February 19, 2011, 05:04:18 PM »
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wah wah bahut khub BBLji... bahut khub

 Applause Applause
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #7 on: February 19, 2011, 10:22:15 PM »
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Bahut bahut shukriya parwaaz ji,priya ji,naresh ji,shihab ji,manju mann ji,sheba ji aur khamosh ji...

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«Reply #8 on: February 19, 2011, 10:55:44 PM »
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aapka ek aur kamaal Broken ji--
umda ehsaas aur shayd kuch dard bhi hai jise kaha nahi ja sakta.
par maaf kisjiyega mai last ashaar ke andar nahi ja saka sad5
aajkal shayd mera dimaag is not working.
aapke is khubsurat ehsaas ko hazaaron daad.
be happy always
"
thanx
"
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brokenbyluv
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Tujh sang is zindgi ko jina merra ik khuab hai...R

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«Reply #9 on: February 19, 2011, 11:01:25 PM »
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aapka ek aur kamaal Broken ji--
umda ehsaas aur shayd kuch dard bhi hai jise kaha nahi ja sakta.
par maaf kisjiyega mai last ashaar ke andar nahi ja saka sad5
aajkal shayd mera dimaag is not working.
aapke is khubsurat ehsaas ko hazaaron daad.
be happy always
"
thanx
"
Bahut bahut shukriya koi baat nhi nirala ji hota hai kabhi kabhi umeed karti hu akhri ashaar ko chhod kar aap baaki k asharo ko smjh sake honge...

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«Reply #10 on: February 19, 2011, 11:05:07 PM »
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ji haan baaki san samjh gaya aur aapke alfazo ko bhi jo sirf ehsaas se aate hain aapki kalam me.
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brokenbyluv
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Tujh sang is zindgi ko jina merra ik khuab hai...R

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«Reply #11 on: February 19, 2011, 11:09:42 PM »
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ji haan baaki san samjh gaya aur aapke alfazo ko bhi jo sirf ehsaas se aate hain aapki kalam me.
ji shukriya..
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Rishi Agarwal
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साहित्य सागर

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«Reply #12 on: February 20, 2011, 07:44:43 PM »
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Bahut Khub Geet Ji
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #13 on: February 21, 2011, 06:46:01 PM »
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Shukriya rishi ji..
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killbill
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«Reply #14 on: February 21, 2011, 08:21:34 PM »
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bahut khubb geeta ji
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