haal-e-tabahi:Shairi - E

Prateek Mardia

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haal-e-tabahi par mera youn
muskurana laazmi tha,
jaante ub log jug main
varna bheed mein ek 'aadmi tha

Prateek


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Shikha12

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #1 on: June 11, 2008, 02:01:54 PM »

Quote from: Prateek Mardia on March 27, 2008, 05:31:56 AM

haal-e-tabahi par mera youn
muskurana laazmi tha,
jaante ub log jug main
varna bheed mein ek 'aadmi tha

Prateek

Bahut sahi kaha aapne.. Applause

Woh jo apne haal-e-tabaahi par bhi muskuraa raha tha,
Asliyat ko dikhaawe ke mukhoton mein chuppa raha tha,
Tufaan baandh rakha tha usne apni nigaahon mein kahin,
Jazbaat ke sailaab mein se anmol motiyan churaa raha tha...

ps: Kuch sahi nahin likha gaya shayad, Phir bhi jo dil mein aaya, likh diya!
Bhool chook maaf kar dijiyega...


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bekarar

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #2 on: June 12, 2008, 10:18:14 AM »

Quote from: Mahiya on June 11, 2008, 02:01:54 PM

Bahut sahi kaha aapne.. Applause

Quote from: Prateek Mardia on March 27, 2008, 05:31:56 AM

haal-e-tabahi par mera youn
muskurana laazmi tha,
jaante ub log jug main
varna bheed mein ek 'aadmi tha

Prateek

bahoot khoob prateek ji aur mahiya ji.....

giri maszid, dhaha mandir,
charch aur gurudwara bhi na bacha,
is jaljale ne dekho,
insan ko insan bana diya


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Shikha12

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #3 on: June 12, 2008, 10:34:45 AM »

Bahut Khoob Sanjeev ji... Applause


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Prateek Mardia

Guest

Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #4 on: July 19, 2008, 02:36:12 PM »

Quote from: Mahiya on June 11, 2008, 02:01:54 PM

Bahut sahi kaha aapne.. Applause

shukriya mahiya ji.

aapki chauthi pankti shaayad pehli teen panktiyon ke paksh mein nahi judi,(shaayad aap yeh jaanti he),pur kayi baar shabd dhoka de jaate he...(lagta he shbdon ko insaano ka asar hone laga he...).aapne jo prayas kiya -uskey liye shukriya.

jawaab mein kuch pankti likh raha hu-shaayad kisi aur thread pur bhee likhi he maine--pur yahaan unka shareek hona anivarya sa lagta he....

hur roz mukhota padta chota
main to thuk gaya dhota-dhota
pehan inhe ye haal mera to
bud se budtar ho gaya....
mera apna chehra,na jaane
kahaan kho gaya!

in mukhoton ki koi dor nahi he
aur dor bhee ho to chhor nahi he!
ek baar pehan lo dhuns jaata he
aur poora chera fus jaata he...
kya dikhalu-haal-e-tabaahi
gehra kitna zakhm ho gaya....
mera apna chehra na jaane
kahaan kho gaya!

toofaan nigaho ka baha banke neer
muh pe mukhhota,adhron pe janzeer
dil pe chaltey ,na jaane kitne teer
suni daastan jisney meri
meri aankh ke aanso
woh bhee ro gaya....
mera apna chehra,na jaane
kahaan kho gaya!

Prateek


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Prateek Mardia

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #5 on: July 20, 2008, 11:58:07 AM »

Quote from: bekarar on June 12, 2008, 10:18:14 AM

bahoot khoob prateek ji aur mahiya ji.....

giri maszid, dhaha mandir,
charch aur gurudwara bhi na bacha,
is jaljale ne dekho,
insan ko insan bana diya

mandir dhaha,mazjid giri
gir gaya insaan he....
bana he kathputli
un haathon ki
jinhe kehte sub 'shaitaan 'he..
jaane kitney gunaah maaf karta
allah ya bhagwaan he.....

Prateek


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Shikha12

Guest

Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #6 on: July 20, 2008, 01:02:43 PM »

Quote from: Prateek Mardia on July 19, 2008, 02:36:12 PM

Sabse pehle toh Aapka Bahut bahut shukriya Prateek ji... Aapne Bilcul sahi kaha, Sach mein, Apne likhe mein Gadbad lag rahi thi, lekin kahan, yeh aap ne hi bataaya.. Usual Smile

Mujhe bahut achha laga ki kisi ne itne dhyaan se mera likha hua padha.. Main jaanti hoon, ki Mere likhe hue mein kamiyaa bahut saari hoti hai.. Please isi tarah se bataate rahiyega, main sudhaarne ki koshish karungi.. Usual Smile

Aapne bahut khoob likha hai, aur bahut sahi bhi.. Is ek jeevan mein insaan naa jaane kitne hi mukhote badalta hai, kitni alag alag jimedaariya nibhaata hai, aur yeh jimedaariya nibhaate nibhaate khud ka wajood bhi bhool jaata hai.. Bahut bada sach hai, achha laga padh kar... Applause

Yun hi Likhte rahiyega..


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Prateek Mardia

Guest

Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #7 on: July 20, 2008, 06:06:39 PM »

Quote from: Mahiya on July 20, 2008, 01:02:43 PM

Sabse pehle toh Aapka Bahut bahut shukriya Prateek ji... Aapne Bilcul sahi kaha, Sach mein, Apne likhe mein Gadbad lag rahi thi, lekin kahan, yeh aap ne hi bataaya.. Usual Smile

Yun hi Likhte rahiyega..

mahiya ji,

main fir se aap se asahmat hu.jo aapne likha usey kami ka naam nahi de sakte.aap ek umda shaayra hein aur mein aap se seekhta hu.yeh to hur kisi ke saath hota he..ki sahi shabd kabhi kabhi nahi mil paate...kami tub hoti jub aap jo ujaagar karna chah rahi hoti woh nahi pata chalta parantu yahan sthithi yeh hein ki jo aap kehna chahti hein samajh aa raha he...isliye yeh nazar aaya.doosri asahmati ki wajah yeh hein--jo aapne kaha ki aap ke likhi mein bahut kamiya hoti hein--yeh bhee galat hein bilkul..kyonki maine padhi hein aapki kuch rachnaaye jo abhootpurv hein.....
aapki kavitayen aur nikhre...ishwar se yahi prarthna he.shukriya.

Prateek


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Sayyid Randeri

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #8 on: July 20, 2008, 06:20:59 PM »

Prateek ji aap ke shear kisi ki taarif ke muhtaaj nahi, bohut hi umda likha he aapne.


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Sayyid Randeri

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #9 on: July 20, 2008, 06:22:29 PM »

Mahiya ji bohot khoob achhe alfaaz ka istemaal kiya aapne.


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Sayyid Randeri

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #10 on: July 20, 2008, 06:30:09 PM »

Quote from: bekarar on June 12, 2008, 10:18:14 AM

giri maszid, dhaha mandir,
charch aur gurudwara bhi na bacha,
is jaljale ne dekho,
insan ko insan bana diya

bekarar ji Bohot sahi farmaya aapne, chand lakeeroN mein umda khyaalaat ka izhaar kiya he.


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khwahish

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #11 on: July 20, 2008, 07:12:02 PM »

Bahut Bahut Khoob Prateekji,mahiya aur Bekarar ji..Bahut ache ..Ek Choti Si Koshish Meri Taraf se Bhi....

Eh Zindagi Mujhe Tujhe Gila Kuch Bhi Naa Tha,
Par Woh Baat Aur hai Ke Mujhe Tujhse Mila Kuch Bhi Naa Tha....

Main Sochta Tha, Ke Qaid Hai Yeh Duniya Meri Mutthi Mein,
Par Jab Haath Khole, Mere Paas Dhoondli Lakkeron Ke Siva Kuch Bhi Naa Tha...

Mushkile Bahut si thi Har Raah Mein Meri,
Par Khud Ke Aur Manzil Ke Beech Mein Faasla Kuch Bhi Naa Tha....

Har Kadam Par Ladkaadata Raha Main Zindagi Bhar,
Ke Ab Sochta Hoon Kya Khoya Kya Paaya??
Zindagi Ka Falsafa Kuch Bhi Naa Tha....

"KHWAISH" Tu Khud Khush Hai To Har Koi Khush Hai,
Tujhe Kuch Gham Hai to Kisi Aur Ko Koi Gham Nahi,
Yehi Zindagi Ki Sachai Hai!!!
"KHWAISH" Yeh Pyaar, Mohabbat Ka Silsila Kuch Bhi Naa Tha....

WAQT AUR HALAAT NE KYA-KYA NA DIKHLAYA HUMEIN!!!
DEKHNA TO DARASAL KUCH BHI NA THA....

Eh Zindagi Mujhe Tujhse Gila Kuch Bhi Naa Tha,
Par Woh Baat Hai Ke Mujhe Tujhe Mila Kuch Bhi Naa Tha....


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Prateek Mardia

Guest

Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #12 on: July 21, 2008, 02:49:18 AM »

Quote from: Sayyid Randeri on July 20, 2008, 06:20:59 PM

Prateek ji aap ke shear kisi ki taarif ke muhtaaj nahi, bohut hi umda likha he aapne.

Randeri sahaab,

accha bahaana he....jo unka jataana he....yeh taareef he ya bolo....koi ulaahana he.......

shukriya,hazoor.

Pratek


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Prateek Mardia

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #13 on: July 21, 2008, 02:53:46 AM »

Quote from: khwaish on July 20, 2008, 07:12:02 PM

Khwaish ji,

Aap jo yeh hum logon ki tukbandi pur taaref likh dete ho....mujhe hairaan kur deti he...aap ki thupthupahat milne se urja ka naya sanchaar hota he.

Jo aapki choti choti kaushish hoti he...humare liye badi badi shayri hoti he...aap aisi kaushishen lootaate rahe...shukriya.

Prateek


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Sayyid Randeri

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Re: haal-e-tabahi

«Reply #14 on: July 21, 2008, 05:24:56 PM »

Quote from: Prateek Mardia on July 21, 2008, 02:49:18 AM

Randeri sahaab,

accha bahaana he....jo unka jataana he....yeh taareef he ya bolo....koi ulaahana he.......

shukriya,hazoor.

Pratek

Ptatek ji aadaab!!!
Achhi cheez achhi hi hoti he, chaahe koi taarif kare yaa n kare, "bohot achhaa likha he" aysaa aap ko likhnaa kaafi nahi samajhtaa balke ye bhi likhnaa zaruri samjhaa ke ye ash'ar meri taarif ke to mohtaaj nahi magar jee chahta he waah waah karne ko.


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