Musafir hu mai!:Shairi - E

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Topic: Musafir hu mai! (Read 176 times)

salma786

Yoindian Shayar

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12 days, 12 hours and 21 minutes.

SiLeNcE sPeAkS mORe DaN wOrDs

Posts: 1940
Member Since: Nov 2008

Musafir hu mai!

« on: January 12, 2009, 09:58:35 AM »

Musafir hu mai,
Bas chalna hu janta,
Kabhii is shehar, kabhi us shehar,
Bas Manzil k nishan bhapta!

Kahi khudse bate karta,
Kabhi oro k dekhkar sochta,
Jo raste me milte hai,
Unse mera kya wasta!

Mai nadi ki lehar hu,
Kabhi is chor, kabhi us chor,
Jaha milta ho samunder,
Mujhe chalna hai usi ore!

Mai panchi hu azad,
Pankh fehraye udjata hu,
Is desh kabhi us desh,
Mai apni pyas mitata hu!

Mai kavi ki kalpana,
Jo uthao to uth jata hu,
Jo girao to gir jata hu,
Jab bhi chaho naya sawera,
Mai andhakar me kho jata hu!


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jasbirsingh

Yoindian Shayar

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16 days, 23 hours and 44 minutes.

AAJ BHI INTEZAAR HAI... KAHA HO TUM !!!

Posts: 3422
Member Since: Nov 2008

Re: Musafir hu mai!

« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2009, 04:05:34 PM »

WAH SALMA, BAHUT HI KHOOB. VERY NICE

JASBIR SINGH


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Pooja

Khair-Khwah
Ustaad ae Shayari

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55 days, 21 hours and 58 minutes.

Posts: 42780
Member Since: Jul 2004

Re: Musafir hu mai!

« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2009, 04:08:01 PM »

nice work salma.... pahle do pehregraph bahoot ache bane uske baad laga ki app apne he khayalo mai bhatak si gai hai... mujhe kuch aisa laga..

Over all good creation!!


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sajid_ghayel

Khair-Khwah
Yoindian Shayar

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32 days, 2 minutes.

Posts: 3786
Member Since: Aug 2008

Re: Musafir hu mai!

« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2009, 02:01:47 AM »

Vey good but it would have been much better if you will write kabhi Beacause Kavi also means poet. And its becoming quite confusing. And any type confusion takes away the beauty of any good poem.

Just a advise.......