~Hriday~
Poetic Patrol
Mashhur Shayar
Rau: 115
 Offline
Gender: 
Waqt Bitaya:101 days, 3 hours and 51 minutes.
kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.
Posts: 16243 Member Since: Feb 2010
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«Reply #15 on: April 13, 2010, 01:09:36 PM » |
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Bahut achche Mona ji. Jo 3 para aapne jode hain achche hain wo. Ho sake to unke baare me kuch aur lines add kar lijiye. Kuch aisa jo unke dil ko chhu jaaye. Q k birthday unka hai to unke baare me jitna jyada aur jitna achcha likhenge unko utna achcha lagega. Bahut achcha likh rahe hain aap. Keep writing.
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monamithiya
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«Reply #16 on: April 14, 2010, 06:45:49 AM » |
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #17 on: April 14, 2010, 10:18:50 AM » |
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ur welcome mona ji..aur bahut hi mast kavita likhi hai apne..ek do para aur jod de tou end aur bhi mazedaar lagega..
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monamithiya
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«Reply #19 on: April 14, 2010, 10:26:13 AM » |
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ur welcome mona ji..aur bahut hi mast kavita likhi hai apne..ek do para aur jod de tou end aur bhi mazedaar lagega..
Aankho Mei Masti
Labho Peh Hasi
Dil Ki Aachi
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Hai Thodi Si Ziddhi
Likhti Hai Story
Aur Kehti Hai Sorry
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Pasand Hai Cartoon Micky
Karti Hai Design
Kehti Hai I M Fine
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Height Mei Thodi Choti
Khanne Mei Hai Tikhi
Baatoo Mein Hai Mithi
Sooch Hai Uski Itni Pyaari
Ke Hai Sabki Dulaari
Ab Kya Kahu, Bas Itna Khafi
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #20 on: April 14, 2010, 10:30:06 AM » |
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Waah ji waah behetareen..ab koi kami nhi..bejhijak aap apni dost ko ye kavita ek sunder se notepad pe likh kar de de..mujhe poora yakeen hai vo apko gale se laga lengi...God bless ur frendship...
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~Hriday~
Poetic Patrol
Mashhur Shayar
Rau: 115
Offline
Gender:
Waqt Bitaya:101 days, 3 hours and 51 minutes.
kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.
Posts: 16243 Member Since: Feb 2010
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«Reply #21 on: April 14, 2010, 02:28:49 PM » |
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Bahut achche Mona ji. Bahut achcha likha hai aapne. Aap itna bhi unhe de denge to unhe bahut bahut pasand aayega. Aur agar aapke paas waqt ho to 1-2 para aur add kar sakte hain. Last para ko last para hi rehne dijiye. Kuch add karte hain to last para k upar add kijiye.
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monamithiya
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«Reply #22 on: April 15, 2010, 09:15:09 AM » |
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thanxxxxxxxxxx 2 all my friends
aur thodha achha likhna hai
thodi confused hu
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Ek Aur Uski Dost Dayli (DARSHANA)
Hamesha Uske Saath Rehti
Bahut Khoob Dosti Nibhati
ORRRRRRRRRRR
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Karti Hai Bahut Masti
Hamesha Uske Saath Rehti
Ek Aur Uski Dost Dayli
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #23 on: April 15, 2010, 07:34:58 PM » |
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merre hisab se ye thik rahega...
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Ek Aur Uski Dost Dayli (DARSHANA)
Hamesha Uske Saath Rehti
Bahut Khoob Dosti Nibhati...
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monamithiya
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«Reply #24 on: April 16, 2010, 09:29:53 AM » |
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Aankho Mei Masti
Labho Peh Hasi
Dil Ki Aachi
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Sooch Hai Uski Itni Pyaari
Ke Hai Sabki Dulaari
Dil Uska Sagar Se Gehra
Chehra Uska Jaise Masoom Khila
Height Mei Thodi Choti
Hai Thodi Si Ziddhi
Likhti Hai Story
Aur Kehti Hai Sorry
Khanne Mei Hai Tikhi
Baatoo Mein Hai Mithi
Karti Hai Design
Kehti Hai I M Fine
Jo Auro K Liye Jeti
Kisi Ka Dil Na Dukhati
Hai Mata Ki Bhi Jo Pyari
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Pasand Hai Usko Micky
Ya Shayad Dikhti Micky Jaisi
Ek Cartoon Hai Cartoon Jaisi
Par Fir Bi Lagti Emma Watson Jaisi
Hai Naam Uska Tina Bhi
Jab Bi Bulate Chali Aati
Disneyland Ek Din Zarur Jhayegi
Sath Mei Dosto Ko Bhi Le Jhayengi
Apni Duniya Mei Rehti
Sapno Mei Kho Jati
Jay Ka Intezar Karti
Ya Khud Jay Jaisi Dikhti
Kabhi Kabhi Roti
Phir Chup Ho Jati
Khud Hi Khud Ko Samjati
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Kabhi Kabhi Ghussa Hoti
Par Kabi Na Dikhati
Sabko Pehchan Leti
Koi Baat Usshe Na Chupti
Kuttchhi Bahut Pyari Bolti
Bar Bar Kutchh Chali Jati
Wo Dharti Pawan Hoti Hogi
Jaha Peh Wo Kadam Rakhti Hogi
Kin Papo Ki Mujhe Saza Milti Hogi
Jab Vo Mujhse Rooth Jati Hogi
Shukar Hai Bhagwan Ka Ghar Ke Nazdik Rehti
Warna Meri Kya Halat Hoti
Ek Aur Uski Dost Dayli (Darshana)
Hamesha Uske Saath Rehti
Bahut Khoob Dosti Nibhati...
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Bhagvan Bi Jiske Liye Taras Ta Hoga
Vo Dost Mere Nasib Mei Likha Hoga
Tabhi Toh Mili Mujhe Itni Khushi
Jab Dost Tu Mujhe Mili
Jis Ghar Mei Vo Jhayegi
Vo Jagah Swarg Se Kam Na Ho Payengi
Ussh Insan Se Thodi Jhalan Hogi
Jisseh Wo Apna Banaegi
Kehkar Bhi Keh Na Paungi
Ehsan Uska Kaise Chukangi
Karz Dosti Ka Kaise Utaru
Har Zanam Mei Dost Usi Ko Pavu
Sochti Hai Sabse Alag
Karti Hai Sabki Madad
Hai Sabse Chhoti
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Dosti Wo Khub Nibhati
Hadd Dosti Ki Par Kar Jati
Har Ek Ko Khushiya Deti
Chup Chap Gam Shehti
Dosti Karna Mujhe Usne Shikhaya
Najane Kyu Maine Bhagvan Paya
Kya Khub Aada Thi Uski
Jiski Mujhe Aadat Lag Gayi
Ush Bin Ek Pal Na Reh Paungi
Wo Na Hogi Toh Mar Javungi
Uske Liye Kuch Bi Kar Jaungi
Saath Uska Na Chod Paungi
Apne Sapne Ko Pura Karti
Jab Bhi Dekho Muskurati
Mujhe Bhi Saath Mei Hasati
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Meri Duva Hai Khush Rahegi
Kisi Se Haar Na Manegi
Har Zanamdin Mere Saath Manaegi
Yeh Vada Khub Nibhayegi
Tofha Kya Du Usko
Jisne Khud Duniya Sajayi
Dil Se Shukriya Karu Usko
Jisne Meri Dosti Apnayi
Mei Hamesha Usko Satati
Par Vo Koi Baat Dil Peh Na Leti
Zarurat Par Hamesha Saath Rehti
Bhale Hi Galti Meri Hoti
Life Mei Itni Busy Hoti
Fhir Bi Time Peh Aati
Dosti Bahut Achi Nibhati
Naam Hai Uska Khyati
Kis Naam Se Pukaru Usko
Samaj Na Aaye Mujhko
Kahu Khyati Ya Khushi
K Phir Kahu Tina Ya Micky
Ab Mei Kya Likhu
Refil Ho Gayi Khali
Vo Kaha Sabdo Mei Samayi
Naam Hai Jiska Khyati
suggestions are heartly invited [/size][/size][/size][/size][/color] |
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #25 on: April 16, 2010, 12:19:38 PM » |
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BUS BUS BUS mona ji...ab aur editing mat kijiyega...isse behtar aur kuch nhi...ab bus ise aap apni frend k liye ek notepad pe acha se glitter wale pen se with lots of small stickers saja k ready kar lijiye aur use uske birthday per gift kar dijiye...
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #27 on: April 16, 2010, 12:26:33 PM » |
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ur most welcome ji..keep writting...
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~Hriday~
Poetic Patrol
Mashhur Shayar
Rau: 115
Offline
Gender:
Waqt Bitaya:101 days, 3 hours and 51 minutes.
kalam k chalne ko zamaana paagalpan samajhta hai.
Posts: 16243 Member Since: Feb 2010
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«Reply #28 on: April 16, 2010, 02:45:17 PM » |
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Bahut hi umda Mona ji... jaisa ki Geet ji ne kaha ki aur editing na karen isme. Isse achchi nahi ho sakti dil se nikli kavita. Bahut sundar words me aapne poem likha hai. Haan ab isko Glitter waale pen se likh lijiye. Ho sake to Black colour k paper pe silver ya golden colour se likhe aur khoob saare cartoon stickers laga k ek apne haath se envelope bana k usme daal dijiye aur fir usko ek ribbon se bandh k unhe dijiye. Par yaad rakhiye apni is kavita k saath bilkul bhi kisi aur ki kavita add na karen. Usme sirf ye kavita aur aapke likhe huye wishes hi hone chahiye. bas. Go ahead Mona ji. Great Job Completed. Khyati ji bahut kismat waali hain jo unko aap jaisa dost mila. bahut pyaari kavita likhi hai aapne. Well done...!!!
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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #29 on: April 16, 2010, 07:16:17 PM » |
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i agree with kapil ji...go ahead mona ji..all the best...
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on eTI community..
