Saza mili mujhko per gunegaar hum nahin..

by Ricky on August 04, 2007, 07:59:30 PM
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Ricky
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This is not the way I usually write, rather this poems is like various pieces stitched together. Views about format are appreciated.

    Kaise aage badhe hum jab
    manzil hi hamari kahin peeche thahar gayi !
    Gazur rahe thae jab uske paas sae..
    na usne roka, naa usne awaz di, sirf khamoshi reh gayi !

    Dekha tha usko door jaate hue maine,
    Ghard bhi uski rah se hathai thi maine,
    Kya uski saza mujhe milegi baar baar
    Aisi bhi kya khata'on ki kadi banayi thi maine .. !

    Gehre kahin chot hui hai mere,
    Gehrai itni gehri ki ankhoN sae wo ojhal !
    Dekhe jo mera dil bhi jo gehra mere itna
    Na milegi usko bhi woh mayus si halchal !

    Itna bikhra k pani logo ne samajh liya
    Jaise chaha waise bahaya mujhko
    Jab aas jaati rahi mere wajood ki
    Jhat sae raah badal muh fer liya !

    Mere pehnaave ko mera dil samajha kisi ne
    Na uski dhadkano ka khayal kiya kisi ne
    Tadap tadap ke dhadak rahi thiN..
    Zindagi ka unhe dooja ayaam samjha kisine

    Saza maine payi thi per gunehgaar toh nahin
    Beh ke sukhe ashq baar baar
    Inka koi kahin bhi parastar toh nahin
    ![/list]

    <Copyright Material>
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    Talat
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    «Reply #1 on: August 04, 2007, 09:35:55 PM »
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    Nice one Ricky !
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    Rajbir
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    «Reply #2 on: August 04, 2007, 11:16:25 PM »
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    Ricky

    Wow ! =D>

    Too good. I loved it very much !
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    Ricky
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    «Reply #3 on: August 05, 2007, 09:45:32 AM »
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    Thankyou Talat   !!

    Rajbir Ji,  You liked it more than I expected, thankyou too for your words full of appreciation.
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    purani_jeans_aur_guitar
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    «Reply #4 on: August 05, 2007, 09:53:24 AM »
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    behtarin koshish rahi aapki ricky ji ,apne andaaz-e-bayan ko badalkar pesh karni ki...................words aapne behad aache choose kiye hai ,aur usse bhi aachi tarah aapne unka 'use' kiya hai,  nice ....................10/10 frm me.
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    Ricky
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    «Reply #5 on: August 05, 2007, 05:23:04 PM »
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    PJAG:
    That was really a generous appreciation by you. You just  made this poem noble for me. Thankyou!
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    Roja
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    «Reply #6 on: August 06, 2007, 01:03:22 AM »
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    Quote from: "Ricky"
    This is not the way I usually write, rather this poems is like various pieces stitched together. Views about format are appreciated.



      Gehre kahin chot hui hai mere,
      Gehrai itni gehri ki ankhoN sae wo ojhal !
      Dekhe jo mera dil bhi jo gehra mere itna
      Na milegi usko bhi woh mayus si halchal !

      Itna bikhra k pani logo ne samajh liya
      Jaise chaha waise bahaya mujhko
      Jab aas jaati rahi mere wajood ki
      Jhat sae raah badal muh fer liya !

      ![/list]

      <Copyright Material>


      Ricky ji..

      Nicely clubed ...Esp above lines... very touchy
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      Ricky
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      «Reply #7 on: August 06, 2007, 06:30:28 AM »
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      Thankyou Roja
      Its good for me that you find my work, my those lines touching.
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      poem143s
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      «Reply #8 on: August 06, 2007, 10:46:16 AM »
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      Wah wah kaya baat hai Ricky sir bahut khoob aankhir kuch to baat hai Ricky babu main jo itni achchi post kar dete hai
       =D>  =D>  =D>
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      Ricky
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      «Reply #9 on: August 06, 2007, 02:28:34 PM »
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      Sameer.. Thankyou for heartly praising by you. You the liked the poem, may be because I know I have such a wonderful readers so poem turned out to be good for good people.
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