~ * Kashish Pyar ki * ~_DeV

by thinkhattk on April 13, 2010, 05:32:24 AM
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thinkhattk
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Kore Kagaz pe mene uski TASVIR banai,

Kalpnao rango se usse rangin banai,

kesi Kasish thi mere PYAR me,

Tasvir me bhi uske DIL ko Dhadkata dikhaya....
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riyaz106
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«Reply #1 on: April 13, 2010, 05:47:08 AM »
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Wah wah wah Dev. ji kya khoob tasveer banaai hai. Bahot achhi poem hai. Marhaba.
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #2 on: April 13, 2010, 05:48:23 AM »
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sukriya riyaz ji....
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madhuwesh
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«Reply #3 on: April 13, 2010, 09:49:19 AM »
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Wah wah Deevangi ji,mindblowing creation,bahut achi lagi.keep it up. Hats off to you! Applause Applause Applause Applause icon_thumleft
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #4 on: April 13, 2010, 10:36:32 AM »
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thanku madhu di.......
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cara
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«Reply #5 on: April 13, 2010, 11:17:12 AM »
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Wah kya baat hai          Thinkhattk ji......


Na jaane kyun us din tum hamko bahut yaad aayi
apne khayalon me maine teri tasveer banai
Kashish pyar ki dekho usi waqt tum mere saamne aayi...
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Nafseeyati_Mareez
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«Reply #6 on: April 13, 2010, 02:05:13 PM »
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Dev saheb.........chend batein aapse share karni hai regarding your work.

Padhne walo ko aasani ke liye...."mene" ko "maine" / "kalpnao" ko "kalpana ya kalpanao" / "banai" ko "banayee" / "kesi" ko "Kaisi" / "kasish" ko "kashish" / "dhadkata" ko "dhadakta" hona chahiye tha.

"kalpanao rango se" yeh lafz galat lag raha hai ise "Kalpana ke rango se" hona chahiye tha.

Aapne jo likha hai use shayed rubaiee ya qata bhi keh sakte hai par yaha aapne pehle do line me "banai" lafz ka istemaal kiya par last line me aapne "dikhaya" lafz ko use kar diyaa. Well main aapko ek example deta hu aap use dhiyaan se padhe phir apne kalam se compare kare aapko sari baat samajh me aa jayegi...

ham par tumhaarii chaah kaa ilzaam hii to hai
dushnaam to nahii.n hai ye ikaraam hii to hai
karate hai.n jis pe taa'n, koii jurm to nahii.n
shauq-e-fuzuul-o-ulfat-e-nakaam hii to hai


-Faiz Ahmed Faiz-

Agar meri comments aapki narazgi ka sabab bani ho to mujhe maf kar dijiyega...
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Mashhur Shayar
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«Reply #7 on: April 13, 2010, 02:46:12 PM »
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Bahut achcha likha hai aapne Devji...!!!
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Rajesh Harish
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«Reply #8 on: April 16, 2010, 04:55:53 AM »
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Kore Kagaz pe maine uski TASVIR banai,

Kalpnaon ke rangon se usse rangeen banai,

kaisi Kashish thi mere PYAR mein,

Tasvir me bhi uske DIL ko Dhadakta dikhaya....



Bahut khoob Deevangi Ji
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Saba_Saba is back
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«Reply #9 on: April 16, 2010, 08:45:30 AM »
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Hello Devangi ... kaisee ho ?

A four liner which have same subject is called Rubayi ...
Rubayi me 1st, 2nd aur 4h(last) line (hum-qaafiya)same sound me likhi jati hai aur 3rd line par complete force hota hai...

mai aap ki post ko sirf zara sa change karna chahugi ... hope u like it

altered post of thinkhatk...
Kore kagaz par uski tasveer banayi
Kalpana ke rangon se usko sajayi
Kaisi kashish thi mere pyar mein
Tasveer me bhi dil ki dhadkan nazar aayi
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Saba_Saba is back
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«Reply #10 on: April 16, 2010, 08:50:54 AM »
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The feel and wordings are so touching ... keep writing Dear
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #11 on: April 17, 2010, 10:13:49 AM »
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thanks a lot all of u.....
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #12 on: April 17, 2010, 10:19:22 AM »
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Dev saheb.........chend batein aapse share karni hai regarding your work.

Padhne walo ko aasani ke liye...."mene" ko "maine" / "kalpnao" ko "kalpana ya kalpanao" / "banai" ko "banayee" / "kesi" ko "Kaisi" / "kasish" ko "kashish" / "dhadkata" ko "dhadakta" hona chahiye tha.

"kalpanao rango se" yeh lafz galat lag raha hai ise "Kalpana ke rango se" hona chahiye tha.

Aapne jo likha hai use shayed rubaiee ya qata bhi keh sakte hai par yaha aapne pehle do line me "banai" lafz ka istemaal kiya par last line me aapne "dikhaya" lafz ko use kar diyaa. Well main aapko ek example deta hu aap use dhiyaan se padhe phir apne kalam se compare kare aapko sari baat samajh me aa jayegi...

ham par tumhaarii chaah kaa ilzaam hii to hai
dushnaam to nahii.n hai ye ikaraam hii to hai
karate hai.n jis pe taa'n, koii jurm to nahii.n
shauq-e-fuzuul-o-ulfat-e-nakaam hii to hai


-Faiz Ahmed Faiz-

Agar meri comments aapki narazgi ka sabab bani ho to mujhe maf kar dijiyega...


me aap ki baat se sahamatt nahi hu. agar aesa hi hota itne bhi
comments diye he unko samaj me na aaya hota to comments dete??
anyways thanks for your comments.....



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deepika_divya
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«Reply #13 on: April 18, 2010, 05:32:20 AM »
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Bahoot Khoob Dev.. Keep it up !
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Nafseeyati_Mareez
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«Reply #14 on: April 18, 2010, 08:04:32 AM »
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me aap ki baat se sahamatt nahi hu. agar aesa hi hota itne bhi
comments diye he unko samaj me na aaya hota to comments dete??
anyways thanks for your comments.....





Aji maine kab kaha Dev saheb aapko meri baat se sehmat hona zaruri hai..........aapko aapke dosto ki keemti comments mubarak ho...........aap naraaz na ho aainda aapki thread me hum dakhal nahi dege janab.
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