ye aansu meri taqdeer ..... mkv

by mkv on October 11, 2011, 11:47:40 AM
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mkv
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Ye aansu meri taqdeer badal sakte the
hatho pe saji kismat ki lakeer badal sakte the
agar inke dard ko tum mahsoos kar lete
to hum is jindgi ki tasveer badal sakte the
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khamosh_aawaaz
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«Reply #1 on: October 11, 2011, 12:44:30 PM »
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Quote from: mkv on October 11, 2011, 11:47:40 AM
Ye aansu meri taqdeer badal sakte the
hatho pe saji kismat ki lakeer badal sakte the
agar inki garmi ko tum mahsoos kar lete
to hum is jindgi ki tasveer badal sakte the

             mkv. agar 3rd line aisi hoti to zayada vazan hota sher mein.
                
                 AGAR INKE DARD KO TUM MEHSOOS KAR LETE
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mkv
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«Reply #2 on: October 12, 2011, 02:16:40 AM »
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khamosh sahab
apne apna keemti samay diya, meri galti ko sudhara iske liye shukriya. maine modify bhi kar diya hai.
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F.H.SIDDIQUI
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«Reply #3 on: October 12, 2011, 03:21:16 AM »
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 Applause
bahut khoob
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mkv
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«Reply #4 on: October 12, 2011, 05:30:15 AM »
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shukriya hasan sahab
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