Gaaz gire ya raaz khule hur.....

by Prateek Mardia on April 22, 2008, 03:07:17 AM
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Prateek Mardia
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Gaaz gire ya raaz khule hur…..

          Tum kusum de- de- kar
          pooch rahi to batlaata hu
          Be-parda  hote hein sub swar
          Ub Gaaz gire ya raaz khule hur
          Jo tere-mere hein andar!

          Ghari ghari tum jub  kehti alvida
          ‘Juda’ ho jaane ko aksar
          Kyon haath pakad tera mein humdum
          Tub Saath-nibhane ko tatpar

          Dard utha seene mein aisa
          Moti bante hein akshar
          Khoon baha hein armaano ka
          Kya khoob saje tere khanjar

          Aur nazariya tera saathi
          Kabhi- kabhi tum batlaati ho
          pur ‘drishtikon’ aur ‘drishti dosh’ mein
          Khud fark nahi kar paati ho!
          Mein mund-mund muskaata hu
          Soch ke saare woh manzar
          Ub Gaaz gire ya raaz khule hur
          Jo tere-mere-hein- andar

         Aur such poocho to he- priyavar
         Ek baat  mun mein kar gayi he ‘ghar’
         Mera pehla nagma kisi roz ko,tune  
         Pudh liya hoga bus chup-chup kar
         Duvidha mun mein tere tub se-
         Kuch aisa kar de tu jo agar
         Choole ye tadap saare woh shikhar
         Aag laga de kuch aisi ki
         Heera bun paaye  tera patthar
         Mehfil mein jub jaaye
         kehlaye ‘tanha shaayar’
         aur isiliye tunhe soch samajhkar
         dhaaye zulmon-sitam-kehar
         ub gaaz gire ya raaz khule hur
         jo tere –mere –hein andar


        khushi-khushi hu roz mein peeta
        amrit lagte mujhko ye ‘zehar’
        kya khoob kalpana teri dilbar
        fir kyon kehte mujhko kavi-var?



      ub gaaz gire ya raaz khule hur
      jo  tere-mere-hein andar!

Prateek
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syednaami
Guest
«Reply #1 on: April 22, 2008, 01:29:50 PM »
Prateek mitr,
Lagta hai koi bada ghao laga hai dil ke andar
tabhi to "kabhi swaha hua dhwaan to kabhi moti bane akshar".
Khoob tarannum se bhara hai apne dard ko is kavita ke bhitar.

S Naami
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #2 on: April 22, 2008, 01:34:02 PM »
wowow too good Prateek ji.. sari kavita hi kamal ki likhi hai apne... magar yah lines bahoot hi kareeb lagi..

Dard utha seene mein aisa
Moti bante hein akshar
Khoon baha hein armaano ka
Kya khoob saje tere khanjar
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #3 on: April 22, 2008, 01:47:58 PM »
Prateek ji.. apki kavita pard kar jo man mai ayya.. bas wo hi ek saans mai likh diya:

Chah kar bhi raz khola nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo bola nahi jaata

Karati hu sirf khud se khud ki baatein
Lubo per ek bhi shabd laaya nahi jaata

Ghut.ta hai yah dil, ansoo attak kahin seene main jaate hai
Door tak nigah main tera koi akas bhi ab laaya nahi jaata

Roti hai bahoot yaadein aa aa kar meri tanhaai main
Phir bhi yaadon ke samuder main kahin tujhko chupaya nahi jaata

Chah kar bhi ab tujhko bulaya nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo tujhko ab dikhlaya nahi jaata

samjhaya bahoot tujhko la la kar khayalon main
na samjhega kabhi tu, itna sa bas khud ko samjhaya nahi jaata!!!!!
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syednaami
Guest
«Reply #4 on: April 22, 2008, 01:58:31 PM »
Wah Wah Pooja bibi, kya teer mara hai, khud hi nishaan khud hi zakhmi.
Ek saans men yeh likha hai to baaqi saanson men to bas aap chhajayengi. Kamaal kardia.
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #5 on: April 22, 2008, 02:11:38 PM »
Shukaria Syednaami ji!!!
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Prateek Mardia
Guest
«Reply #6 on: April 23, 2008, 04:58:42 AM »
Quote from: syednaami on April 22, 2008, 01:29:50 PM
Prateek mitr,
Lagta hai koi bada ghao laga hai dil ke andar
tabhi to "kabhi swaha hua dhwaan to kabhi moti bane akshar".
Khoob tarannum se bhara hai apne dard ko is kavita ke bhitar.

S Naami

syeednaami ji,

aapki nazare is kalaam pur pari jiski mujhe behad prassanta hein. Aapki badhai ko dil se swikarta hu.shukriya .

Prateek
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Prateek Mardia
Guest
«Reply #7 on: April 23, 2008, 05:07:59 AM »
Quote from: Pooja on April 22, 2008, 01:47:58 PM
Prateek ji.. apki kavita pard kar jo man mai ayya.. bas wo hi ek saans mai likh diya:

Chah kar bhi raz khola nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo bola nahi jaata

Karati hu sirf khud se khud ki baatein
Lubo per ek bhi shabd laaya nahi jaata

Ghut.ta hai yah dil, ansoo attak kahin seene main jaate hai
Door tak nigah main tera koi akas bhi ab laaya nahi jaata

Roti hai bahoot yaadein aa aa kar meri tanhaai main
Phir bhi yaadon ke samuder main kahin tujhko chupaya nahi jaata

Chah kar bhi ab tujhko bulaya nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo tujhko ab dikhlaya nahi jaata

samjhaya bahoot tujhko la la kar khayalon main
na samjhega kabhi tu, itna sa bas khud ko samjhaya nahi jaata!!!!!


Pooja ji,

aapka andaaz behud prashansniye he.agar 13 minute mein aap yeh kavita likh sakti hein to jealosy ka hona swabhavvik he,mujhe galat na samjhe,insaan hu.
shabd shayad kum pur jaaye aapki taaref ke,ishwar se aaj aapke liye khushi ki prarthna zarro karunga,yeh vaada he.

Prateek
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syednaami
Guest
«Reply #8 on: April 23, 2008, 06:28:04 AM »
Prateek mitr

Dil se jo likha gaya ho us ka andaaz bhi alag hi hota, baqi to sab khel hai, aap ke jaise log kam dekhe hain.

Disha kathhor hai magar
yaas men kabhi prayaas nahin hota
praani to bas nishchal hai
Pratishodh men kabhi shod nahin hota
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khwahish
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«Reply #9 on: June 02, 2008, 07:29:30 PM »
Bahut Bahut Khoob Prateek ji..hamesha ki tarah..aapki kavita padhkar anand sa aata hai..bahut acha likha hai aapne..khaas kar yeh line bahut khoobsurat likhi hai...

Dard utha seene mein aisa
Moti bante hein akshar
Khoon baha hein armaano ka
Kya khoob saje tere khanjar

  Applause Applause Applause
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Talat
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«Reply #10 on: June 02, 2008, 07:34:43 PM »
Bohot Khoob Prateek Ji, Pooja and S.Naami !
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khwahish
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«Reply #11 on: June 02, 2008, 07:37:43 PM »
Quote from: Pooja on April 22, 2008, 01:47:58 PM
Prateek ji.. apki kavita pard kar jo man mai ayya.. bas wo hi ek saans mai likh diya:

Chah kar bhi raz khola nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo bola nahi jaata

Karati hu sirf khud se khud ki baatein
Lubo per ek bhi shabd laaya nahi jaata

Ghut.ta hai yah dil, ansoo attak kahin seene main jaate hai
Door tak nigah main tera koi akas bhi ab laaya nahi jaata

Roti hai bahoot yaadein aa aa kar meri tanhaai main
Phir bhi yaadon ke samuder main kahin tujhko chupaya nahi jaata

Chah kar bhi ab tujhko bulaya nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo tujhko ab dikhlaya nahi jaata

samjhaya bahoot tujhko la la kar khayalon main
na samjhega kabhi tu, itna sa bas khud ko samjhaya nahi jaata!!!!!


Bahut Bahut Khoob pooja!! aap jo bhi likhte ho dil se likhte ho..bahut ache.. Applause Applause Applause
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Pooja
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«Reply #12 on: June 02, 2008, 07:44:15 PM »
bahoot bahoot shukaria khwaish ji!!
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Prateek Mardia
Guest
«Reply #13 on: June 02, 2008, 07:48:51 PM »
Quote from: Pooja on April 22, 2008, 01:47:58 PM
Prateek ji.. apki kavita pard kar jo man mai ayya.. bas wo hi ek saans mai likh diya:

Chah kar bhi raz khola nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo bola nahi jaata

Karati hu sirf khud se khud ki baatein
Lubo per ek bhi shabd laaya nahi jaata

Ghut.ta hai yah dil, ansoo attak kahin seene main jaate hai
Door tak nigah main tera koi akas bhi ab laaya nahi jaata

Roti hai bahoot yaadein aa aa kar meri tanhaai main
Phir bhi yaadon ke samuder main kahin tujhko chupaya nahi jaata

Chah kar bhi ab tujhko bulaya nahi jaata
Jo hai dil ke ander, wo tujhko ab dikhlaya nahi jaata

samjhaya bahoot tujhko la la kar khayalon main
na samjhega kabhi tu, itna sa bas khud ko samjhaya nahi jaata!!!!!




mere geeton main kaash teri he awaaz ho
tujhe mere durd ka kuch to andaaz ho
jub bun gaye he hum humsafar
fir kyon bhala koi raaz ho!

tum khayaalon main laake samjha rahi ho
ya ummedon ko he behkaa rahi ho!
dil ki baataon ko lene do adhron ka sahaara
zindgi ub is paar ho ya us paar ho!

Prateek
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Pooja
Guest
«Reply #14 on: June 02, 2008, 07:59:47 PM »
wah kaya baat hai.. bahoot khoob Prateek ji....

Her baat per mujhko nasamjh thahraya hai
Phir kaise apne khayalo ko  main lubo per laau
Dil mai rahta hai khayal her pal tera he
Per samne dekh tujhe, apni haya main apne se he simat jaau

Awaz hu main magar sawar tum bin adhura hai
Do jo sath ab, tabhi yah janam poora hai
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