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M. Rahman
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Deewana koi mujhsa nahi, yeh kaise kahein hum
Deewano ki aakhir koi kaami to nahi hai
Bus ek tuta hua dil hi to chahiye
Apne aapko tum bhi is kataar mein shaamil paaoge
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anjaan dharkan
Yoindian Shayar
Rau: 0
 Offline
Gender: 
Waqt Bitaya:10 days, 13 hours and 36 minutes.
-May Allah Bless You-
Posts: 1900 Member Since: Jul 2008
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«Reply #1 on: November 06, 2008, 02:38:14 PM » |
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it was a bit confusing... but nonetheless... keep it up!
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Talat
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«Reply #2 on: November 06, 2008, 04:17:08 PM » |
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Deewana koi mujhsa nahi, yeh kaise kahein hum
Deewano ki aakhir koi kaami to nahi hai
Bus ek tuta hua dil hi to chahiye
Apne aapko tum bhi is kataar mein shaamil paaoge
Nice one Rahman...Keep it UP  |
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M. Rahman
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«Reply #3 on: November 06, 2008, 04:26:53 PM » |
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Thanks anjaan dharkan.
Agar confused hoto bhai khulke kaho
Koi baat dil mein hai to samne rakho
'Keep it up' kehke chorto diya
Ab phirse confused karoon to maaf kar dena.
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M. Rahman
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«Reply #4 on: November 06, 2008, 04:38:57 PM » |
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Shukriya Celmiraji.
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dead heart
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«Reply #5 on: November 06, 2008, 08:15:36 PM » |
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nice try...not bad....but wat i wana say is that if ur riting a 4 line sher...make sure the first,third and fourth rhyme...well i am not teaching u coz myself im not a great writer but thats wat a great shaer told me so i told u dat...dnt mind bro...tc
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M. Rahman
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«Reply #6 on: November 07, 2008, 02:22:37 PM » |
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Shukriya dead heart
Mein shayar to nahin
Magar aye dost
Tere comment se mujhe
Shayeri aagayee
Thanks for the comment
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Sonia01
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«Reply #7 on: November 07, 2008, 02:31:46 PM » |
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Deewana koi mujhsa nahi, yeh kaise kahein hum
Deewano ki aakhir koi kaami to nahi hai
Bus ek tuta hua dil hi to chahiye
Apne aapko tum bhi is kataar mein shaamil paaoge
Padkar hum b huwe diwana ...  Accha likha hai aapne Rahman jii |
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M. Rahman
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«Reply #8 on: November 07, 2008, 02:56:06 PM » |
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Shukriya Soniaji
Deewana hoon to kya hua
Aab mein akela nehi hoon
Chalte hue raho mein
Koi to jaroor milega
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sanya310
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«Reply #9 on: November 07, 2008, 03:59:14 PM » |
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nice one m.rehman.. keep writing..
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honeyrose
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«Reply #10 on: November 08, 2008, 04:36:50 PM » |
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Bohat khoob Rahman ji...
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M. Rahman
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«Reply #11 on: November 08, 2008, 04:42:27 PM » |
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Shukriya Sanyaji
Deewana hoon mein
Par ab nehi hai koi gum
Yoindia par kuch kalam likhke
Tanhayee bhul jayenge hum
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M. Rahman
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«Reply #12 on: November 08, 2008, 04:50:16 PM » |
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Shukriya Honeyroseji
Dil mein ek aarju thi
Jo kabhi bayaan na kar sakha
Agar bayaan karte to
Yoindia par 'mein deewana' na hota
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Talat
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«Reply #13 on: November 08, 2008, 05:56:10 PM » |
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Nice ones M. Rahman
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Sonia01
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«Reply #14 on: November 08, 2008, 06:02:23 PM » |
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Shukriya Soniaji
Deewana hoon to kya hua
Aab mein akela nehi hoon
Chalte hue raho mein
Koi to jaroor milega
Haan jii zarur milega... (Saati mil jaye toh Card dena nahi bhoolna ) |
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on eTI community..
