mera dard

by rashmisangeeta on May 16, 2013, 08:38:20 PM

Yoindia ShayariAdab > Shayri ( Poetry ) or Shayari > Shayri-E-Dard > Topic: mera dard

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rashmisangeeta

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mujh se har dard hi tooN chhupata raha
kayoN tooN har dard hi youN chhupaata raha

tere har dard ka hi mujhe bhaan hai
agani bheetar hi bheetar jalaata raha

jab se paida hua tab se jaana tujhe
maaN se har jakham apnaa chhupata raha

jab bhi tooN chot khaata kahiN na KahiN
ghaD ghaD ke tooN bahaane banaata raha

maiN hooN maaN darad tera pata hai chale
'rashmi' rabb hi dua se bachaata raha

kayoN tooN har dard hi youN chhupaata raha
mera rabb hi duaa se bachaata raha


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soudagar

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Re: mera dard

«Reply #1 on: May 16, 2013, 09:23:34 PM »

Bahut khoob....... Thoda padhne mein dhikkat aai par bahut khubsurat ehsas likha maaa ka aapne.......

Aapse nivedan hai zra safai se likhein taki reader aapki rachna ko padh sakein aur samjh kar uski sahi pratikirya de sakein....


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Advo.RavinderaRavi

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Re: mera dard

«Reply #2 on: May 16, 2013, 09:34:41 PM »

Bahut Kgoob,Likhte Rahiye Aage Badte Rahiye. Applause


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mkv

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Re: mera dard

«Reply #3 on: May 17, 2013, 12:04:28 AM »

Swagat hai aapka
Bahut badhiya aaghaaj.
acche khayalaat bhi hai..
Aap me ghazal likhne ka talent bhi hai.
Matle me sudhaar ki gunjaaish hai.
Takhallus..naam vaale sher ko last me likheN.
likhte rahiye. aate rahiye


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adil bechain

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Re: mera dard

«Reply #4 on: May 17, 2013, 12:06:54 AM »

Quote from: rashmisangeeta on May 16, 2013, 08:38:20 PM

achchcha likha hai Applause


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rashmisangeeta

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Re: mera dard

«Reply #5 on: May 21, 2013, 08:02:56 PM »

Quote from: soudagar on May 16, 2013, 09:23:34 PM

ji shukriya aapka bahut bahut aage se dhiyaan rakha jayega khush rahiye aate rahiye youN hi humaari post pe


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rashmisangeeta

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Re: mera dard

«Reply #6 on: May 21, 2013, 08:05:47 PM »

Quote from: adil bechain on May 17, 2013, 12:06:54 AM

achchcha likha hai Applause

ji bahut shukriya aapka aap ne humeiN maaN bakhsha aapki taaliyoN ki gad gadaht hum sun pa rahe hain khush rahiye humein aise hi himmat bandhaate rahiye