Banta Singh & Santa Singh ..!!!

by Delicate_Doll on October 01, 2004, 12:41:05 PM
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Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.

'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket.

'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked and was handed a ticket.

Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'ikk Punjab female dena!'

'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.

'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh.

====================================

Banta Singh saw an exhausted Santa Singh running up to him.

'What happened to you Santaji?'

'There was this nasty big bull in my street that nearly killed me today.'

'Oh really, what happened?'

'I was just walking quietly wearing this red shirt, when the aniimal came charging at me like a locomotive! He almost got me!'

'So, how'd you get away?'

'Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over.'

'That's scary Santaji. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place.'

'Oye! I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?' :lol:

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Delicate_Doll
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«Reply #1 on: October 01, 2004, 12:48:51 PM »
Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones.

One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?'

Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.'

'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?'

Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.'
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Delicate_Doll
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«Reply #2 on: October 01, 2004, 12:51:02 PM »
Santa Singh says, 'For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Kenya for a safari.'

His friend says, 'That's going to be tough to beat. What are you going to do for your Twenty-fifth Anniversary?'

Santa says, 'I'm going to go back and get her.'
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Delicate_Doll
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«Reply #3 on: October 02, 2004, 08:57:44 AM »


Once upon a time Santa Singh visits France. He went into a restaurant and called out for the waiter.

Surprisingly the waiter was also a sardar!

Santa said, 'Donnez moi une biere (give me one beer)!'

The waiter said, 'I'm sorry mujhko French nahi aati.'

On hearing this Santa said, 'Oye tujhko french nahi aati to jaa kissi ko bula ke laa jisko aati ho… mujhko beer ka order dena hai!'

==============================================
Judge to Santa Singh: Aren't you ashamed, coming here for the third time?

Santa Singh: Well, you come every day!

===============================================

'Mummy, Mummy', called Little Santa Singh one day, 'do you know the beautiful vase in the dining room that's been handed down from generation to generation ?'

'Yes', said his mother. 'What about it?'

'Well the last generation just dropped it.' exclaimed the little boy.

===============================================

Santa Singh walks into a bar and sits down next to drunk Banta Singh who is closely examining something held in his fingers.

Santa watches the drunk guy for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.

'Well,' said Banta, 'it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.'

'Let me have it,' said Santa. Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely. 'Yes,' he finally said, 'it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it?'

'From my nose,' Banta Singh.

==============================================

Feeling rather thankful, Santa Singh, a farmer climbed to the highest hill on his farm, raised his arms above his head and yelled, 'God, why did you make my wife, Jaspinder, so beautiful?'

The answer came back, 'So you would love her, my son.'

Then he asked, 'Why did you make her such a good cook?'

'So you would love her, my child.' replied the Almighty.

'Why did you make her such a great housekeeper?'

'Again, so you would love her.'

'But Lord, why did you make her so stupid?' pondered the farmer.

'So she would love you.'

=============================================
Santa Singh is walking down the street and stops a man to ask for the time. The man, looking at his watch, helpfully responds, 'The time is now four o'clock.'

Santa Singh scratches his head and says, 'Oye! Kamaal hai! I've been asking people that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer.

==============================================

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet: 'What are you searching for?'

Santa: 'Hidden cameras!'

Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?'

Santa: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching MTV! How does he know that?'

===============================================
Santa Singh comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, 'Get me a beer before it starts.'

The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, 'Get me another beer before it starts.'

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, 'Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.'

The wife is furious. She yells at him 'Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . .'

Santa sighs and says, 'It's started... '

==============================================

Mrs Santa Singh was so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, 'Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!'

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, 'She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!'

============================================

 :lol:



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Tosha
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«Reply #4 on: October 05, 2004, 08:26:16 PM »
oh!....!
its funny...!
ha ha ha ha
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