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neeraj_ninu
Guest
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jaise loha lohe ko katta hay.
sona sone ko katta hay.
hera hero ko katta hay.
waise hi tumhe ek din kutta katega.
Ladkiyon ki adaayen
Dekho dekho ladkiyon ki adaayen
Ladkon pe kaise kaise jaadu chalaayen
Kabhee nazron se daale doore,
Kabhee mitthi baton me fansaayen,
Dekho dekho ladkiyon ki adaaye………!
Inki baton me jo aaye pachtaaye…
Innke changul me jo aaye,nikal nahi paaye
Marre romiyo or devdaas inke picche saare
Dekho Dekho ladkiyon ki adaayen
Kabhee seeta banker raam ko lapete
Kabhee madona banker paisa samete,
Bade bade ustaadon ko kutton ki maut maaren
Dekho Dekho ladkiyon ki adaayen
Ladkon pe kaise kaise jaadu chalaayen, dekho dekho ladko ki adaayen
khud ko shahruk khaan paayen
maa baap mein jhagde karwayeen
padosi se lafde karwayeen
daroo wali dukaan mein jayen
aur doosre din padosi ki bagal mein payeeen
dekho dekho ladko ki adayeen
A SARDARJI is in the library, he bangs down a book and says :" too
boring, too many characters and no story.
LIBRARIAN says : oh! So you r the one who took the phone directory away... Once a sardaar falls down from the third floor and lands on the road below.
Ek bheed si ikatthi ho jati hai and someone asks the sardar: Kya hua papaji?
Sardaar: Mujhe kya pata, mai to abhi aaya hu.
first sardar : hey ... my wife and girlfriend are coming together.
second sardar : oh yes.. i was about to say this ...
One fine day a Girl proposed to a Sardar and Sardar denied simply, saying that in our Family we marry only our relatives: My MoM married my Dad, my Brother married my Bhabhi, My Uncle married my Aunt and so on. Hence, please excuse me.
"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...." Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God...
Just then a Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles .
Italian : Only two miles,Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards ...
==========================================
Sher aur Chooha
A sher is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner a chooha too is dancing.
He is asked, "Are bhai choohe, aap kyu nach rahe ho?"
"Mere chote bhai ki shadi hai....Nachunga Nahin? "
"Sher kabse aapka bhai hone laga?"
"Shadi se pehle main bhi sher tha!", replied chooha
Socha karte hain hum yunhi kabhi,
Ke tum naa hote to kya hota?
Dil mein hota kitna dard,
Aur safar kitna tanha hota!
Dil ki dhadhkan ko dhadhka gaya koi,
Mere khabo ko mehka gaya koi,
Hum anjane rasto pe chal rahe the,
Achanak hi rasta bata gaya koi.
Badi asaani se dil lgaaye jaate hain
par badi mushkil se waade nibhaye jaate hain
le jaati hai mohabbat un raaho par
jaha diye nahi dil jlaaye jaate hain
kis kis ko yaad kijiye
kis kis ko royiye
Aaram aachi cheez hai
muh dhak ke soyiye!!
When you feel that
nobody loves you
nobody cares 4 you
& everyone is against you,
you should start asking Urself...
<)."".(> main
( (..)) Aisi
( ( .) ) Kyun hu
Raat itni haseen thi
Ke saare so rahe the
Hum hi aise badnaseeb the
Jo aap ki yaad main ro rahe the
Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi
Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
Aankho se ashqon ki dhar beh gayi
Arre tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
Jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi (ha ha ha)
Sooraj bana to Badal bane
Chaand bana to Sitare bane
Husna bana to Parwane bane
Jaroor kucch baat hai aap mein ..
Unhi to nahi PAGALKHANE bane !
Itnay dino se jalaaney nahi aaya...
Jalti hui aag ko bujhaaney nahi aaya!!!
Kehta thaa saath jiyengey saath marengey...
Ab rooth gai hoon to ullu ka patha mananein bhi nahi aaya.
Twinkle-Twinkle lazy star
Kitna soyega uthja yaar,
up above the world so high,
sun has risen in the sky,
uthke jaldi pee le _chai,
then call me up and say "HI"
Ram Ram sab kare, Dasrath kare na koi
Dasrath kasrat na kare, to Ram kahan se hoi
Aapko miss karna ROZ ki baat hai,
Aapko yad karna ADAT ki baat hai,
Aapse door rehna KISMAT ki baat hai,
Par Aapko jhelna HIMMAT ki baat hai!!
Arz kiya hai: I am a dog and you r a flower,
gaur farmaiega I am a dog and you r a flower
so let me lift my leg n give you a shower.
Wah-Wah
Hasti thi hasaati thi, Baalon ko lehrati thi,
kuch soch kar sharmati thi, phir kuch soch ke muskurati thi....
AAJ PATA CHALA - SALI PAGAL THI !!! .....
Yaad Teri na aaye aisa HONE NA denge,
DOST TERE jaisa KHONE NA denge,
Sharafat se Contact main REHNA,
WARNA KAAN KE NEECHE 2 KEENCH ke denge.
in LIFE whn you get troubles
don't getnervous,
just close ur eyes
& follow ur HEART
coz heart is in LEFT
but it is always RIGHT
Laloo went to see a football match.......
asked to his PA......yeh sab ke sab is baal main laat kyun maar rahen hain....
PA : Sir Goal karne ke liye....
LAloo (sochte hue) : par yeh to pahle se hee GOL hai
Arz kiya hay.........
Aaj kal aap kay sms ana bund hain
Aaj kal aap kay sms ana bund hain
khafa ho hum say ya balance kum hay
Do pal ki zindagi you hi beet jayegi…
Kal ke baad naye subah ayegi…
Agar dosto ki yaad satayegi…
Toh kasam se apki yaad sabse pehle ayegi…
Paro aur chandramuki ka noor app pe barse, har koi aapke sath sone ko tarse,
aapke jeevan me aaye itni ladkiyan,
ki app CHADDI pahen ne ko tarse.
Janaza agar unke dar se guzre to thodi der rukwa dena,
Hath uthe agar dua k liye to Chehre se kafan hata dena,
Vajah puche maut ki to VAT ka tension bata dena
Khat likh raha hoon khoon se,
Siahi mat sanajhna.
Khat likh raha hoon khoon se,
Siahi mat samajhna.
Kisi mariz ka SAMPLE liya tha
Mera mat samajhna.
Umar ki Raah mein
Insaan badal jata hai,
Waqt ki Aandhi mein
Tufaan Badal jata hai,
Sochta hu tumhe pareshan na karu,
Lekin baad me iraada badal jata hai..
Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai.
To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen.
Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.
Ek bahu puri raat paraaye mard ke sath so kar aayi.
Saas ko pata chal gaya lekin wo kuchh nahi boli.
kyon ?
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KYUN KI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI.
Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
----------------
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?
----------------
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
----------------
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He
was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
----------------
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant:
It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what? take an
umbrella and go.
---------------- ----------------
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11cr after
deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs
back.!
----------------
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver you This
Packet
Sardar:- why did you come so far. Instead you could have
posted it....
----------------
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep not screamin like all the
passengers in the car he was driving..
----------------
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
----------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r you writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read
very fast.
----------------
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in
punjab (NB: NOT IN AMRITSAR) Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..
Sex karo
Sex karo daily,
Agar wo mil jaye akeli,
agar na mile akeli to pakar lo us ki saheli,
agar na mile saheli to zindabad hatheli
lekin sex karo daily.
----------------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking
at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".
One day ant was going somewhere. On the way elephant meets her.....
Elephant : Kahan jaa rahi ho?
Ant: TAilor ke pass ja rahi hu kapde silwane........
Elephant : Agar kapda bachega to mere liye bhi silwa dena....................
An ant and an elephant were madly in love. ....
They wanted to get married. But the parents of the ant refused to grant thier consent.
When quizzed they said "Ladkay ke daant bahar hai" !!!!
Zindagi behaal Hai,
Sur hai na taal Hai,
MsgBox bhi kangaal Hai,
Kya aapki SMS factory mein hadtaal Hai,
SMS toh Bhejo,
Mera MOBILE ki zindagi ka sawaal Hai.....!!!
=====================================
Woh PYAR hi kya, jisme JUDAAI na ho.......
Woh ISQH hi kya,jisme LADAAI na ho......
Woh DIL hi kya, jisme DARD na ho........
Aur woh MOBILE hi kya, jisme mera SMS na ho.....!!
=====================================
Tere DIL mein rahenge SMS bankar,
Dhadkano mein bajenge RINGTONE bankar,
Kabhi apne DIL se juda mut Samajana,
Hum tere saath chalenge NETWORK bankar..!!
====================================
A meeting is 2 b held in jungle. the attenders r .....................
Tiger, Bear, Snake, Elephant, Fox, Monkey.........
but it hasn't started yet b'coz...............
the DONKEY is busy in reading this sms............!!!
===============================
If you hav studied MBBS, you r a Doctor.
If you hav studied B.AB.L., you r an Advocate.
If you hav studied B.E, you r an Engineer,
Since Ur studing this SMS, you r a FOOL..!!
=============================
Kya bindas hawa chalreli hai...
Bird log gana ga rele hai....
Cow log ghaas kha rele hai..
Shane log SMS kar rele hai.
Aur Kanjus log SMS padh rele hai.......!!! Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
==========================
Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football
and the third one was caught reading this txt message
=======================================
Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon.
Last night,
I dreamt of you,
this morning my first thought was you,
I thought of you the whole day.
I think like you.
Tomorrow I will think of W, X, Y, Z……
===============================
See at the ocean,
think of god’s abundance,
see at the sky,
think of gods wonder,
see at the moon,
think of god’s glory ,
see at the mirror,
think of god’s blunder.
=========================
Recent News Headlines :
Softdrinks Contain Dangerous Pestcides.
Insan to newspaper padh sakte hain par janwaro ka kya hoga kyonki.... Aaj kal CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI !
===========================
What do I do when I see someone extremely
Gorgeous,
Attractive,
Terrific,
Cute,
Fabulous....
I Stare, I smile, And, when I get tired..... I put down the mirror !
===============================
Zindagi mein teen cheezen kabhi bhi aa sakti hain.....
PAISA..... MAUT..... Aur..... Aur..... Aur..... Mera SMS !
================================
Unlike others,
ur brain is a masterpiece.
it has 2 halves-
the left & the right.
The left has nothing right in it &
d right has nothing left in it.
=================================
Why do you think I SMS you ?
Is it because I care ?
Or I miss you ?
Or I love you ?
Or I need You ?
No ! It's b'coz... Timepass ke liye koi BAKRA chaiye !
=========================================
God saw ME hungry,
he created Domino's pizza.
He saw ME thirsty,
he created Pepsi.
He saw ME in dark,
he created light.
He saw ME without problems, he created YOU !
================================
Your network tariff has changed.
Call charges are now calculated according to brain size.
The smaller the cheaper........ You can make free calls!
==================================
Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye.
Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye.
Karu SMS ladkion ko naam tera aae.
Maar tujhe pade aur kaleja mera thanda ho jae.
==================================
Sincere Apology : If you dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont hesitate,
feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.
=====================================
If you save this msg,
it means I'm cute.
If you edit this,
I'm still cute.
If you fwd this,
you r spreading that i'm cute &
if you erase this,
you r jealous of me coz i'm cute!
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