Punjab Airways {Khoob Hasso}:SMS , mobile & JOKES

Punjab Airways {Khoob Hasso}

by Jaanasheen on February 27, 2009, 10:48:37 AM

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Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen:

This is your Captain Santa Singh welcoming you to
Punjab Airways. We apologize for the two-day delay in
taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I
had put in at the highway dhaba. This is flight no.
9211(Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana. Landing in Ludhiana
is not guaranteed, but with luck we may even be
landing directly on your village.

Punjab Airways has a unique record for safety. In fact
our safety standards are so well known that even fully
trained terrorists and hijackers are afraid to fly
with us. It is with pleasure I announce that starting
this year over 90% of our passengers have reached
their destination. For the ones that don't quite make
it, Punjab Airways staff has all the requisite
experience for consoling the next-of-kin.

Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be happy to brief you on
our out-of-court settlement policies. If our engines
are too noisy for you, on passenger
request, we can turn them off for your convenience. To
make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable,
we serve complimentary tea and biscuits.For our
religious passengers, we are the only airline who can
help you quickly find out whether God really exists.

We regret to inform you that today's in-flight movie
will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the
television. But we will be flying right next to Air
India, where their movie will be visible from the
right side cabin windows. These windows have been
removed for your viewing convenience. For passengers
with sight problems, we have also put a pair of
binoculars under your seat.

As per the rules, smoking is not allowed on all Punjab
Airways flights over Punjab. Any smoke you see in the
cabin is only the early warning system on the engines
telling us to slow down.

Life jackets are placed under your seats and free
bathing costumes are m ade available for the aunties
and swimming trunks for the uncles, for emergency
water landings on any of our five rivers.

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright
position for take off and fasten your belts. For those
of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your
own belt to the arm of your seat.

And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not
hesitate to get in touch with Bubbly Kaur for your
arrangement to sit on the bathroom seat. If you do sit
there,please do not flush frequently because it may
result in shortage of water we require for your tea.

I won't be flying with you today because I have to
attend to my nephew's wedding. But co-pilot Kaptan
Singh will have wireless access to me in case he needs
flying instructions from time to time.

For an extra 500 rupees or two tandoori chickens, our
attendant Bubbly Kaur will allow you to come forward
and occupy the captain's seat in the co ckpit for 5
minutes each, for an extraordinary view.

Thank you once again for choosing to fly with
Punjab Airways.
Poor People To Fly With........

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