Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah):Chit

javedarshad

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Mai koi shair tu nahin magar shayri agar radeef qafiye ke sath ho to shayri mahsus hugi. padhne wale ko bhi maza aur samajhne wale ko bhi lutf. Nazm mai bhi thuri se qawaid aati hai magar ghazal ke liye zaroori hai ki radeef qafia sahi ho.
aap loog radeef qafia dhunde mai agle mazmun main tahreer karun ga

woh is liye agar jawab positive mila to agar aap logon ko ye baat pasand aaye tab.

Brief:
I have opened this thread to give assistance & to share my experience with new poets so they can have more accuracy in their work / poems. If you have any question & doubt about URDU poetry then you can ask without any hesitation and I will try to answer it accordingly.

tx
javed arshad


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samnoj

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #1 on: December 11, 2006, 12:17:06 PM »

mujhe radif qafiya samajhna hai. . kya mujhe samjhaoge


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Delicate_Doll

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #2 on: December 11, 2006, 12:51:13 PM »

mujhe toh shayari hi likhne nahi aata... sad5

:cry:

hum wo hai jo apne gham kisko nahi batate..
hum wo nahi jo apna gham lafz me dal k, kisko apna mohtaz nahi banate...


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samnoj

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #3 on: December 11, 2006, 12:53:52 PM »

hum wo hai jo na ho wo bata dete hai
aur jo hai wo kabhi nahi bata te


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Delicate_Doll

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #4 on: December 11, 2006, 01:18:18 PM »

same pinch... iss liye toh hum logon ko log multi -personality kehte hain :wink:.. kyun ki apne kie roop hai


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Talat

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #5 on: December 11, 2006, 02:33:31 PM »

Quote from: "samnoj"

mujhe radif qafiya samajhna hai. . kya mujhe samjhaoge

Sam...

Radeef is the rhyming of more than the last two or three words of every sher of the poem

and

Qafia is the rhyming of only the last word of every sher of the poem....!


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Talat

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Re: Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #6 on: December 11, 2006, 03:14:55 PM »

Quote from: "javedarshad"

Its a good thread....This way people who CAN write but are not able to write properly or hesitate can be benefited... !!

I have a request to the members that please do not go offtopic and dont take CHIT CHAT into serious threads....There are more than enough threads to joke and chit chat already !!!


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phoenix

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #7 on: December 11, 2006, 05:20:00 PM »

is there any special way to ryhme ur poetry


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javedarshad

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #8 on: December 12, 2006, 03:39:31 AM »

Samnaj, Jaise ki Talat ne bataya ke Radeef kia hai aur qafia kia hai. Magar dono misrun main hain too theek warna her shair ke pahle misre main radeef aur qafia nihin huta umuman dusre misre main iska lihaz rakha jata hai. dunoo misroon ka hum wazan bhi huna bahut zaruri hai. Gazal ke pahle shair main dunoo misroon main hu ga
Salma 4u ke yahan shair dekha

kia sunain kisi ko raaz-e-dil
Dard bhi badhta hai sunane se

agar is misre ko is tarah padhen

sunane se dard siva huta hai

agar aap logoon ko yeh batain pasand hun to response dekhne ke baad phir mulaqat hu gi

khuda hafiz

J A


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phoenix

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #9 on: December 12, 2006, 09:59:00 AM »

yaar urdu ko hindi mein convert bhi kar diya karo yaar


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samnoj

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #10 on: December 12, 2006, 11:31:22 AM »

Quote from: "Talat"

Quote from: "samnoj"

mujhe radif qafiya samajhna hai. . kya mujhe samjhaoge

Sam...

Radeef is the rhyming of more than the last two or three words of every sher of the poem

and

Qafia is the rhyming of only the last word of every sher of the poem....!

nahi samjha


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Talat

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #11 on: December 13, 2006, 12:35:25 AM »

Quote from: "javedarshad"

Shall i ask you something ?

Though i write lots of urdu poems, but i have read urdu poetry and language only as a subject till my high school..also, started writing poems only a couple of years back...!

I want to ask what if someone writes a poem which is not having any qafia or rhyming..i think its call nazm but i am not sure...or if someone writes in a way that the poem's first two and last two shers have qafia but rest of them poem is not having any qafia...!!

I hope you might be able to understand what i am trying to ask !

Lastly, its very nice to see someone like you who seems to have a sound knowledge about urdu poetry, and from the team of Yoindia, I welcome you on Yoindia, and I hope we ll get many useful tips from you that might help us to improve our poems ! Usual Smile

Thanks,

Talat


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javedarshad

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #12 on: December 13, 2006, 03:05:38 AM »

Hi Talat,

In Gazal U have to follow Radeef aur qafia , such as Pahla Misra SOOZ DIL KO DAI GAI PATA NAHIN WOH KAUN THEE
Dusra kHALISH SI EIK RAH GAI PATA NAHIN WOH KAUN THEE. Pahla sher hua ab dusra
Khamush husn ki ladi Murat jaise Puja ki bani
Jhuke aqidat se jabeen Pata nahin woh kaun thee
Dusre sher main pehle misre aur dusre misre ke farq ko dekhu ismain humne d/misre main radeef qfia liya hai pahle misre main apni baat kahi hai
Nazm main zadater qafia se loog kam chalalete hain. Aap logon ki tu bilkul azad shairi hai
jaise
woh paroon padi thee
woh gidgidai bahut thi
usne iltija ki thee
usne duhai dee thee
usne insaniyat ko lalkara tha
usne hammiyat ko jhajhuda tha
magar be sood
woh hawis ke bande they
AUR
Woh aik Aurat thee
yeh azad sh. hai

Eik aur sher
LARAZTE HUNTUN SE GIRTE HUAE LAHU KO PUNCHE
KIS KO PHURSAT HAI JU AAKAR MERE AANSU PUNCHE
J A agar kisi ko dikkat ho tu e-mail per puch sakta hai bigdenawab@yahoo.com


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Talat

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #13 on: December 13, 2006, 10:41:09 AM »

Thanks a lot Javed for your explanation. Usual Smile

I am still left with one question for the time being:

Can we write a poetry or a nazm where there is no qafia or rhyming at all....that is its completely "Azaad" nazm ?

Talat


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javedarshad

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Aap Ki Shayri suggestion and correction (Islah)

«Reply #14 on: December 13, 2006, 03:08:04 PM »

Talat
If u r not following any type of rules and regulations
according to urdu shairi that is called azad , in this Shairs object is to explain his or her "Muddua"
means concept or w ever want to say in few lines in which there is no r/q . Just call it tuk bandi


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