Meri yadon Mein kuch ahbaab puraney aaye,
mujhse milney mere kuch khwab zamaney aaye.
sochne baithi to kitne meri nigahon mein,
tujhse milney ke jo kartey the bahaney aaye.
shayri mujhko sikhaii mere ghamkhwaron nein,
khaas mauqon pe mujhe khaas rulaaney aaye.
ab bhi asbab banate hain meri pasti ke,
mere dushman mujhe duniya se mitaney aaye.
mujhko malom hai duniya Ki samajh rakhti hoon,
kitney mere liye aur kitney dikhaney aaye.
Mohtarma sana Afroz sahiba! salam
Ghazal shandaar hay .. bharpoor dad qabool kejay...
mohtaram qadeertoopchi sahab ne ghazal dekh he li hay... hum in k ilm k qaail hen.. anhon ne zaroor asatiza ki mehfil dekh rakhi hay...
aap ne misra durust kernay ki koshish ki hay, lekin ab misra wazan men nahi raha.. yaani, agar "nigahon" ko "neeegaahoN" parha jayay tu wazan poora ho ga...
misra ko kai tarah se kaha jaa sakta hay... jesay
sochne baithi hun tu zehn men meray, kitnay
tujhse milney ke jo kartey the bahaney aaye
tajveez kerda misra men lafz "kitnay" alag sa ho gaya hay.. ilm-e-arooz men isay, "taaqeed-e-lafzi" kehtay hen.. so behter soorat tu aap he dekh sakti hen..
ya phir
sochne baithi to kitne he meri aankhon mein,
tujhse milney ke jo kartey the bahaney aaye.
ya phir
sochne baithi to kitne he meri yaadon mein,
tujhse milney ke jo kartey the bahaney aaye.
waghera...
aap hum say kahin behter shayara hen so aap behter soch sakti hen..
dua-go