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mamta bajpai
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hum naa jinke naseeb hote haiN
wo bade badnaseeb hote haiN
nek a'amaal jinke paas naheeN
wo bade hee ghareeb hote haiN
kare koi bhare yahaaN koi
hum abas kyuN saleeb hote haiN
ilm se jinke roshnee faile
wo hee sachche adeeb hote haiN
achchhee soorat ho sachchee neeyat ho
saathee kam hee naseeb hote haiN
Mamta Bajpai
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khwahish
WeCare
Khaas Shayar
Rau: 166
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Gender: 
Waqt Bitaya:272 days, 5 hours and 50 minutes.
Posts: 11814 Member Since: Sep 2006
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«Reply #1 on: September 30, 2011, 07:36:03 AM » |
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Satish Shukla
Khususi Shayar
Rau: 51
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Waqt Bitaya:25 days, 6 hours and 16 minutes.
Posts: 1862 Member Since: Apr 2011
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«Reply #2 on: September 30, 2011, 07:52:15 AM » |
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Mamta Ji,
Bahut khoob..chhoti behr men
bahut achchhi ghazal..
Dili daad qubool farmaayen.
Satish Shukla 'Raqeeb'
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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #3 on: September 30, 2011, 08:46:08 AM » |
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Mamtaa Jee Aadaab!
Badi khoob Kalaam kahi hai aapne... Khayal kafi achche rahe.
Aur aapki bayaani bhi behad khoob rahi...
Sabhi ashaar behad achche lage hume..
Par yeH ashaar kuch jyada achche rahe...
nek a'amaal jinke paas naheeN
wo bade hee ghareeb hote haiN
ilm se jinke roshnee faile
wo hee sachche adeeb hote haiN
achchhee soorat ho sachchee neeyat ho
saathee kam hee naseeb hote haiN
Mamta Bajpai
DIli daad O mubarakbad kabul kijiye..
Likhate rahiye... Aate rahiye...
Khush O aabaad rahiye..
Khuda Hafez...
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dead heart
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«Reply #4 on: September 30, 2011, 02:59:52 PM » |
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"Saathee kam hi naseeb hote hai" Aha kya tanz kiya hai apne.. Sach, behad acha laga yeh ashaar hume.. Kya baat hai Mamta jee.. Ek aur lajawab peshkash.. Aha.. Khoob..  Khush rahiye..! |
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manzil-e-ishq
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«Reply #5 on: September 30, 2011, 04:52:00 PM » |
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bht khoob mamta di.....
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marhoom bahayaat
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«Reply #6 on: October 01, 2011, 11:06:53 AM » |
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hum naa jinke naseeb hote haiN
wo bade badnaseeb hote haiN
nek a'amaal jinke paas naheeN
wo bade hee ghareeb hote haiN
kare koi bhare yahaaN koi
hum abas kyuN saleeb hote haiN
ilm se jinke roshnee faile
wo hee sachche adeeb hote haiN
achchhee soorat ho sachchee neeyat ho
saathee kam hee naseeb hote haiN
Mamta Bajpai
achi ghazal hai |
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mamta bajpai
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«Reply #7 on: October 02, 2011, 01:04:26 PM » |
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bahut khoob Khwaish jee! aap ne behad umdah sher share kiyaa hai......or saath hee gazal ko pasand farmaane kaa behad shukriyaa......
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annam
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«Reply #8 on: October 02, 2011, 04:28:40 PM » |
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Mamta ji pahle sher mein khudnumai ya self praising ki jhalak dikhai deti hai jo kuchh theek nahi lagti. Koi ye baat kisi aur ke liye kahe sahi hai, misaalan:
Aap jin ke qareeb hote hain
Wo bade khushnaseeb hote hain
Ummeed hai bura nahi maana hoga.
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mamta bajpai
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«Reply #9 on: October 03, 2011, 10:21:27 AM » |
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Anaam jee!
gazal ke pahle sher ke mutallik aap kee rai se waaqif hui......aap theek kahte haiN ...baaqee asha'ar gour se paRhane par aap humaaree neeyat se waaqif ho jaayenge.......yahaaN mere is sher kaa khulaasaa mai aap ko kar detee hooN woh ye keh avval to yahaaN jo khudnumai nazar aa rahee hai woh ek tanj hai.....jo hume thukraa ke gayaa to naseeb uskaa kharaab hai...use badnaseeb kah kar dil kee khalish mitaai hai........waise mujhe achchha lagaa jo aap ke is aitraaz par mai apnee baat ko khul kar kah paayee....
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annam
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«Reply #10 on: October 03, 2011, 05:47:28 PM » |
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Okay Mamta ji, it is agreeable. Darasl shayar kya soch kar likhta hai, har koi nahi samajh sakta. Aapne wazaahat farmaai,aapka shukriya. 2nd aur 2nd last ashaar bhi aapne behad khoobsurat kahe hain. Shukriya. |
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mamta bajpai
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«Reply #11 on: October 04, 2011, 12:52:13 AM » |
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Shukriyaa Anaam jee! sach to ye hai keh kalam me zor or soch me dhaar bhee wahee ataa farmaataa hai hum to bas zariyaa bhar hain.......waise jab bhee is tarah ke sawaal jab bhee shairi me uthate haiN to achchhaa lagtaa hai ......soch ke kai dareeche khul jaate hain...apnee baaqee kavishoN par bhee aap kee nazarnawaazee chaahoongee.........mujhe bahut kuchh seekhne ko milegaa.....ek baar aap kaa phir se behad shukriyaa......
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annam
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«Reply #12 on: October 05, 2011, 05:15:50 PM » |
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Okay Mamta ji. Is layaq to nahi phir bhi koshish rahegi ke aapki deegar kavishon par bhi kuchh kahun. Albatta itna zaroor hai ke aapko balke shayari ke sab shaiqeen ko Bashir Badra, Waseem Barelvi, Ahmed Fraz, Praveen Shakir, Khumar Barabankwi jaise mizaj wale shayaron ke kalaam kasrat se parhne chahiye. Aisa karne se zahn mein creativity ka izafa hota hai. Urdu ka asli ilm to khair lazmi hai hi. Asli ilm se mera matlab hai urdu ko arbi script mein kam az kam parhna to aani hi chahiye. Varna ye hoga ke "khutoot" aur "Saboot" ko humqafia samajh kar istemal kiya jayega jo ghalat hoga. Isi tarah waqt aur rabt mein hoga.
Baqi phir kabhi.
shukriya..
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SURESH SANGWAN
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«Reply #13 on: October 05, 2011, 05:17:46 PM » |
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mamta bajpai
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«Reply #14 on: October 05, 2011, 11:23:00 PM » |
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Anaam jee!
kis qadar aap kaa shukriyaa adaa karooN jo aap ne meri is tarah rahnumaai kee......urdu script kaa thodaa bahut ilm to mujhe hai......jald naa paRh paane kee vajah se use darkinaar kiyaa kartee thee........lekin ab aap kee nek raai ne meri mushkile aasaan kar dee hain..phir bhee aap kaa maarg darshan mujhe miltaa rahegaa ....isee umeed ke saath........
Mamta Bajpai
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on eTI community..
