kitni hi pushton se thi dosti hamari unse .. charan..

by lovely_charan on December 28, 2012, 04:08:17 PM
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lovely_charan
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for the first time i am trying to write a Ghazal.. zyada kuch aata nahi hai .. i hope ki utni mistakes nahi ki hongi.. please do comments.. Usual Smile

zehan mein phir se mere sawaal aaya hai..
kyun karke khata dil mein malaal aaya hai..

rakhthe hain talluk sabse kuch zyada hi hum..
aaj rehmat huyi unki toh bhuchaal aaya hai..

kaise sitamgar hokar bhi rehnuma the woh..
dhokhe mein dil se tute, toh bawaal aaya hai..

kitni hi pushton se thi dosti hamari unse ki..
lagi chingari aur ab dil mein mashaal aaya hai..

kahan tak khuda ki pairawi karte rahein ab..
kehte hain sabhi ki dukhi kawwaal aaya hai..

iss zindagi ki kashmakash mein dekho "Charan"..
iss khoon ke dauran mein bhi ubaal aaya hai..
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sksaini4
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«Reply #1 on: December 28, 2012, 04:21:50 PM »
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bahut bahut sunder
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lovely_charan
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«Reply #2 on: December 28, 2012, 04:29:09 PM »
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bahut bahut sunder
thank you very very  very much sir..
 icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower icon_flower
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~Hriday~
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«Reply #3 on: December 28, 2012, 04:31:47 PM »
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Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause bahut sundar rachna ... bahut bahut khoob likha hai aapne Lovely ji... agar rachnaa ki khoobsurti ke baare me poochhen to bahut bahut bahut khoobsurat rachnaa hai... par agar ghazal ke baare me kahen to main aapko is baare me achche se nahi bataa paaungaa... yahaan bahut se jaankaar hain jo is ke baare me aapko bataa sakte hain ki ye kahaan tak ek safal ghazal hai.. eg. F.H.SIDDIQUI ji, sksaini ji, Parwaaz ji and so on...!!! aap bahut achcha likhte hain . yunhi likhte rahiye jisse humein bhi maukaa miltaa rahe aapke khoobsurat rachnaaon ko padhne kaa...!!! Usual Smile

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«Reply #4 on: December 28, 2012, 04:33:44 PM »
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for the first time i am trying to write a Ghazal.. zyada kuch aata nahi hai .. i hope ki utni mistakes nahi ki hongi.. please do comments.. Usual Smile

zehan mein phir se mere sawaal aaya hai..
kyun karke khata dil mein malaal aaya hai..

rakhthe hain talluk sabse kuch zyada hi hum..
aaj rehmat huyi unki toh bhuchaal aaya hai..

kaise sitamgar hokar bhi rehnuma the woh..
dhokhe mein dil se tute, toh bawaal aaya hai..

kitni hi pushton se thi dosti hamari unse ki..
lagi chingari aur ab dil mein mashaal aaya hai..

kahan tak khuda ki pairawi karte rahein ab..
kehte hain sabhi ki dukhi kawwaal aaya hai..

iss zindagi ki kashmakash mein dekho "Charan"..
iss khoon ke dauran mein bhi ubaal aaya hai..

bahut badiya likha hai aapne charan jee. (mere khayal se galatiyan meri nazar mein to kuch nahi hai) abhi aap regularly ghazal likha kariye. v.good Thumbs UP
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lovely_charan
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«Reply #5 on: December 28, 2012, 04:34:45 PM »
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Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause bahut sundar rachna ... bahut bahut khoob likha hai aapne Lovely ji... agar rachnaa ki khoobsurti ke baare me poochhen to bahut bahut bahut khoobsurat rachnaa hai... par agar ghazal ke baare me kahen to main aapko is baare me achche se nahi bataa paaungaa... yahaan bahut se jaankaar hain jo is ke baare me aapko bataa sakte hain ki ye kahaan tak ek safal ghazal hai.. eg. F.H.SIDDIQUI ji, sksaini ji, Parwaaz ji and so on...!!! aap bahut achcha likhte hain . yunhi likhte rahiye jisse humein bhi maukaa miltaa rahe aapke khoobsurat rachnaaon ko padhne kaa...!!! Usual Smile


thank you very very much hriday ji for such an encouraging reply.. its  my pleasure to get to know about these people.. thanks for that too.. i love to write with free mind.. so whenever m free from my mind i ll write hehhe jokes apart.. thanks for being with me..
Usual Smile
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lovely_charan
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«Reply #6 on: December 28, 2012, 04:35:57 PM »
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bahut badiya likha hai aapne charan jee. (mere khayal se galatiyan meri nazar mein to kuch nahi hai) abhi aap regularly ghazal likha kariye. v.good Thumbs UP
i ll try to write .. Usual Smile
thanks a lot suman ji.. apka sath raha toh acha likh paungi.. Usual Smile
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nandbahu
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«Reply #7 on: December 28, 2012, 04:52:37 PM »
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bahut khoob
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lovely_charan
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«Reply #8 on: December 28, 2012, 05:04:48 PM »
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bahut khoob
thank you nand ji.. Usual Smile
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F.H.SIDDIQUI
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«Reply #9 on: December 28, 2012, 05:09:10 PM »
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nicely  written , keep  it  up .
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lovely_charan
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«Reply #10 on: December 28, 2012, 05:12:04 PM »
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nicely  written , keep  it  up .
thank you sir.. i hope you ll correct me, whenever i m wrong.. Usual Smile
thanks a lot..
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sunildehgawani
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«Reply #11 on: December 28, 2012, 06:11:30 PM »
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 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley AAPKI IS RACHNA PAR DHERON DAAD CHARAN JI ..HAR LAHZE SE APKI NAZM KHUB RAHI ..WAKAI AAP BAHUT ACHHA LIKHTE HAIN ,,,,KEEP IT UP
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«Reply #12 on: December 28, 2012, 06:12:46 PM »
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it nice u keep writing hmmmmmmmm Usual Smile
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lovely_charan
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«Reply #13 on: December 28, 2012, 08:41:03 PM »
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Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley AAPKI IS RACHNA PAR DHERON DAAD CHARAN JI ..HAR LAHZE SE APKI NAZM KHUB RAHI ..WAKAI AAP BAHUT ACHHA LIKHTE HAIN ,,,,KEEP IT UP
bahut bahut shukriya aapka.. Usual Smile
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lovely_charan
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«Reply #14 on: December 28, 2012, 08:41:46 PM »
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it nice u keep writing hmmmmmmmm Usual Smile
thanks ji.. Usual Smile
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