teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann -Panna 3:Shayri-E-Dard

janumanu

Guest

«Reply #30 on: May 26, 2012, 07:56:52 AM »

Adaab ... sabhi saadhu jano ko ....... man sahab aapki ghazal padhi ya kahuN ghazal-numaa .... ahsaas achy lage ...... fir ufaq sahab ki koshsih , jisne aapki gahzal numaa ko gahzal ka roop de diyaa....... meri maniye....... to isse acha kaam shayri mai aur koe nahi ho saktaa hai, jab koe ... aapki itni help kar raha ho, ab ise aap apni help maane .... yaa fir kuch aur jaise ki dekhaa .. kuch lo ise aur hi bana rahe hai.... ab ye aapki marzi....
kash aisa mere sath kisi ne 10 saal pahle kiyaa hota to main 10 saal pahle behr ke nazdeek aa gaya hota... khair .. ab aap'pe depend karta hai .. aap is baat ko jis tarah leN ...

________

Ufaq sahab...

mujhe bahut acha laga ... ki aapne kisi ko galat batane ke bajaye use sahi kar diyaa ....... kaash aisa sab kare to adab ka kuch bhala ho jaye ....

-----

Qais sahab .... maine aapka comment padha aur fir aapki kuch ghazleN bhi......

sabse pahle to jo meri rai hai wo mai bata duN ki ufaq sahab ne ko islaah nahi ki hai.... kyunki islaah ghazal par hoti hai.... jo gahzal hi nahi uspe islaah kaise ho sakti hai.... ye ek help thi.... aur janaab help koe kare chahe kisi ki bhi to .. ye kisi o haq nahi ki usme nuqs nikale ... kash ye help apne ki hoti... apko bhi kisi ne behr sikhayeee hi hogi.... aap bhi sikha sakte they.....

doosri baat aapne jo kaha hai ki islaah karne wala khud galti na kare.. bhayee ghalti kaun nahi karta hai... is dunia main.... hai koe aisa?
aur fir ghalti hai kya ye .... tai kaun karega... koe nahi.... aapko jo galti lag rahi hai... mujhe nahi lagegi... kyunki sabki apni apni zubaan hai.... agar aap kahte urdu zubaan ke hawale to koe aur baat hoti..

magar hak ko haq lkhne se kya fark hai... sirf itni hi atpata lagta hai.... bhayee talafuz likhne ki nahi bolne ki cheez hai.... aur hum itne chote nahi ki ... lafz ke mutabiq bolte haiN ... roman script ka shayri mai kya kaam ... ? isko ek galti bata kar asal baat pe pardaa daalna kaha ki theek baat hai... aur "typo" kisi se bhi ho sakti hai... kyaa aaap 100% accurate type karte haiN?

yaar kamskam ... debate to sahi cheez pe ho ....

maine aapki ek gahzal padhi ... jisme aapne "bas" ko "BUS" kaha hai.... jabki bus English ka lafz hai jiskaa doosraa manhi ho jata hai..
ye hai aapka matlaa....

Sharm se jub woh Laal hote hain ,
Bus timaatar - misaal hote hain

---

sahab is tarah ki baat shayri mai jabardsti kyun laye jabke usse bhi zaroori baten saamne ho...........

aur sahab ... ye roman script .. shayri ke liye zaroori nahi talafuz zaroori hai jo bolne se hi pata chaltaa hai ....

halanki main bhi aapki "bus" ko bas .. samjh liyaa hai... itni to padhne wale mai samjh hoti hai... haan usne nuqs hi naklne hai to.... ye hunar sabko hi aataa hai.,...

behtar ho ki jo uqaf sahab ne .. man sahab ki gahzal ko roop diyaa hai uspe baat ho.. na bhi ho to koe bata nahi.. ye ufaq sahab aur man sahab ke beech ka muaamlaa hai .... lekin jab isme aur aa gaye to maine socha .. main bhi kuch arz kar duN ..

baaki maafi .... aur mai roman mai likhne mai galti bahut kartaa hun .... lekin aap bata deN mai isme bhi theek karne se parhej nahi karungaa ,,,

shukriyaa ....


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janumanu

Guest

Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #31 on: May 26, 2012, 08:05:12 AM »

Quote from: qalb on May 26, 2012, 07:17:34 AM

well BOSS most of the people they don't know bahr and qafia.

My dear friend if they dont know... then is there any harm to let them know ?
as you are expert on it and believe me people don't care of such things including me.
If u dont care abt it just be silent ... and i am sure this is not ur ghazal .... also u r not suppose to say anything behalf of this thread owner....

yess u r right without bahr and qafia and radeef you cann't consider a composition as a ghazal. but if any body claim its composition as ghazal then you raise objection.

he didnt raise any objection ... ... did he?

sahab unhone is ko gahzal mai laya hai... aur ye bahut mushkil kaam hota hai.... bahut mehnat lagti hai... isme aap apni ego ya apne thought na laye .... aap apne thought inpar hi nahi balki man sahab par bhi thop rahe hain....
aur shayed thoda bahut ab mai bhi yahi kar raha hun Usual Smile

well you think you are expert in this game then why the hell you are waisting your time in this platform. go and compet against the scholar.

ridiculas comment ........

ignored ..........


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khujli

Guest

Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #32 on: May 26, 2012, 08:42:01 AM »

Quote from: janumanu on May 26, 2012, 08:05:12 AM

Quote from: qalb on May 26, 2012, 07:17:34 AM

well you think you are expert in this game then why the hell you are waisting your time in this platform. go and compet against the scholar.

ridiculas comment ........

ignored ..........

you might right. but its an open thread and every one has its right to say.
this a forum to enjoy. if i have to learn ghazal aur i would like to read and enjoy them then i am not required to come in this forum because i am having library of books at home my dear .


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madhuwesh

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Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #33 on: May 26, 2012, 08:50:36 AM »

Bahut hi khoob Mann ji ,apne ehsaaso ko khoobsurti se bayaan kiya aapne. icon_thumleft


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Qais

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Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #34 on: May 26, 2012, 10:34:08 AM »

janumaanu ji . Thanks for comments . I will better not comment . Let the Yoindia Shayariadab people , who care to read this conversation , decide for themselves as to what is right and what is wrong.


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khujli

Guest

Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #35 on: May 26, 2012, 10:47:55 AM »

Quote from: janumanu on May 26, 2012, 07:56:52 AM

MR JAANU,

YOU ARE REGRETTING THAT YOU ARE NOT EXPERT IN WRITING GHAZAL BUT LIKE ME SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE NO REGRESSION ON THIS ISSUE.
YOU KEEP MR UFAQ AS YOUR TUITOR TO LEARN BETTER AT HOME.
SO FAR I KNOW THAT YOINDIA HAS NOT KEPT ANY CONDITION TO JOIN THIS PLATFORM THAT ONE SHOULD BE VERY SPECIFIC IN GHAZAL AS A MEMBER.

IF YOU ASK ME I DO APPRECIATE --- DR. SK SAINEE. MR HASAN, SATISH JEE, WAQUIF ANSAAREE JEE THEY HAVE SOME THING SPECIAL.

SO FAR CONCERN ABOUT MR UFAQ , I SELDOM FOUND HIM TO APPRECIATE THE GHAZAL OF THE ABOVESAID MENTIONED PERSONS.

neither this ghazal iz my bread and butter and nor yours as i hope.
so enjoy it not make thing otherwise

icon_flower


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akashsharma1990

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Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #36 on: May 26, 2012, 02:59:06 PM »

bohot khub mann ji


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shaukeen

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Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #37 on: May 26, 2012, 05:04:44 PM »

pata nahi taaliya kaise bajtee hai..taalia


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janumanu

Guest

Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #38 on: May 27, 2012, 06:08:12 AM »

you might right. but its an open thread and every one has its right to say.

exactly........ lets start from very first ,,,

man sahab ko ghazal ya kalaam post karne ka haq tha ...
unhone kiyaa...

2. padhne wale ko us par comment tabsraa islaah jo bhi( in an appropriate way)... karne ka haq tha .. ufaq sahab ne kiya ..
.
apko haq hai ... aap ghazal par comment par comment kare.. ye aapka haq hai..

magar aap comment par comment kar rahe ha.. ye kaha ki samjhdaari hai.... har ek ko barabar haq hai... aap apnaa haq to safe rakh rahe hai lekin doosre ka nahi... aisa kyun?

this a forum to enjoy.

plz explain how to enjoy ....
evreyone has his own defination for this .... i am sure this is a poetry forum ...
enojy poetry ko nazarandaaz karke kiyaa jata hai ... to fir aap jane

if i have to learn ghazal aur i would like to read and enjoy them then i am not required to come in this forum because i am having library of books at home my dear .

who is teaching u ? did anyone comment on ur post ?
aur janaab ...... aap seekhe na seekhee ye aapka personal matter hai... aap liabrary mai seekhen ghar mai seekhen jaha marzi , na bhi seekhe ... mujhe isse kya lena dena ....

haan agar aap ye kahte hai... ki is forum mai game kheli jaati hai poetry ya uspe discussion nahi hoti to... fir mai kya kahs aktaa hn, mujhe aisa laga to nahi.... yaha bahut aise log hai... jo shayri aur usse jude masalon pe khaasi samjh rakhte haiN..
sirf apni baat ke liye sabko apne sa na banaye

shayri to door aapko public forum mai baa kais eki jati hai pahle ye seekhna chahiye..


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janumanu

Guest

Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #39 on: May 27, 2012, 06:19:00 AM »

Quote from: Qais on May 26, 2012, 10:34:08 AM

janumaanu ji . Thanks for comments . I will better not comment . Let the Yoindia Shayariadab people , who care to read this conversation , decide for themselves as to what is right and what is wrong.

Qais sahab ....... aap comment kare na kare... lekin thande zahan se ye to soch hi sakte hai ki yaha ho kya raha hai ?

aur sahi galat thaharane wala koe nahi hota hai... disscussion sahii ghalat thahrane ke liye to nahi hoti .... kya yahi maksad hai... ek doosre ko sahi ghalat bana do... fir apni pani ego mai khush ho jao...

chaliye bas do swaal...

kya ufaq sahab ne ghaalt kiyaa man sahab ke kalaam ko behr maiN laa ke ?

2. kya apne jo ufaq sahab ki mistake point out ki( I accept... u were right )... per apka is thread pe kahna sahi tha?
aap yahi bata unki gahal pe kahte to sahi hota ... comment pe comment karnaa
ye sahi nahi hai
apko gahzal pe comment karna chahiye ya kisi ke comment pe...

bas ....


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janumanu

Guest

Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #40 on: May 27, 2012, 06:24:30 AM »

MR JAANU,

YOU ARE REGRETTING THAT YOU ARE NOT EXPERT IN WRITING GHAZAL

are!!>. ye khush fahmi aapko kaise ho gayee?

BUT LIKE ME SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE NO REGRESSION ON THIS ISSUE.

my dear freind ...
my dear freind .... na hi apse kisi ne kuch kaha tha ... nahi hi kisi aur se... jiska thread hai wo sahab yaha koe aitraaz jata nahi rahe hai.... waise jatane layaq hai bhi kya pata nahi....

YOU KEEP MR UFAQ AS YOUR TUITOR TO LEARN BETTER AT HOME.

OH really ... sure I will ... doosron ki hi fikr hai aapko... aap bhi seekhen kuch .... kamskam bat kaise ki jaati hai....

SO FAR I KNOW THAT YOINDIA HAS NOT KEPT ANY CONDITION TO JOIN THIS PLATFORM THAT ONE SHOULD BE VERY SPECIFIC IN GHAZAL AS A MEMBER.

i know..... when i had joined yo india ... i was also not familiar with these thing ..... anf for ur kind info.. main yaha aapse ek saal pahle aayaa hun .... so ye sab aap na batayen ...
fir bhi shukriyaa

aur na hi aisaa yaha kisi ne kaha hai.... jo man mai aye kahe ja rahe ho....

...

IF YOU ASK ME I DO APPRECIATE --- DR. SK SAINEE. MR HASAN, SATISH JEE, WAQUIF ANSAAREE JEE THEY HAVE SOME THING SPECIAL.

bahyee tun jise chao appreciate karo.... mujhe kya ... ye sabka personal matter hai .... jise jo acha lagtaa hai , wo use appriciate kar sakta hai

SO FAR CONCERN ABOUT MR UFAQ , I SELDOM FOUND HIM TO APPRECIATE THE GHAZAL OF THE ABOVESAID MENTIONED PERSONS.

yaar hasi aa rahi hai.... bhayee sahab ab kya zaroori hai jise aap pasand karo sab kare nahi to use goli maar do... yaar bachapnaa hai tumme abhi ....
ye yoindia mai naya rule hai kya... jise aap pasand karo use sab kare?

khair jao yaar get well soon....
its better to ignore u .... tumhari har betuki baat ka jabaab kaha se lau

neither this ghazal iz my bread and butter and nor yours as i hope.
so enjoy it not make thing otherwise

hmmm ..... i am enjoying .... really ... tum baten hi itni pyaari karte ho.... na sar na pair hai jiska

chalo khush raho ...

--

I request any MOD or Admin ... if they can handle this issue plzz...

[/quote]


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khujli

Guest

Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #41 on: May 27, 2012, 08:25:35 AM »

Quote from: janumanu on May 27, 2012, 06:24:30 AM

BOSS DON'T GET FRUSTRATED . IT HAPPENS IN LIFE. KEEP YOUR COOL. DON'T LOOSE PATIENCE AND DON'T GET EMOTIONAL OR ELSE IT WILL REVERSE IMPACT ON YOUR HEALTH.
I REALLY SYMPATHIZED WITH YOU .

KEEP ON LAUGHINGALWAYS Laughing hard


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theyash

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Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #42 on: May 27, 2012, 08:40:37 AM »

bahut khoob mannji...


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janumanu

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Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #43 on: May 27, 2012, 12:59:41 PM »

Quote from: qalb on May 27, 2012, 08:25:35 AM

look whos talking

NaNaNa


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mann.mann

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Re: teri aankhon mai aansu kyon...........Mann

«Reply #44 on: May 28, 2012, 03:31:26 AM »

bahut bahut shukriya ufaqji... aapne bahut kuch sikhaya mujhe... aapne sach kaha ki mujhe ghazal ke bare main koi jankari nahin.. mujhe agar kuch pata hai to bas wo dard jo aapne dekha... maine apni shayari ko kabhi ghazal, geet nahin kaha kyon ki mujhe unki jankari nahin hai.. main hamesha rachna shabd ka istemal kiya hai.... par meri koshish rahegi kahin se bhi thoda bhi kuchh sikhne ko mile to ye meri khush-nasibi hogi... islie aapka bahut bahut shukriya... khushi hai ki kam se kam mera dard to pur-asar hai...

shukriya


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