Mujhe Dafna to sahi !!

by abdulqadeer on January 31, 2009, 04:22:38 AM
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abdulqadeer
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Ye Ghazal tanzia thread me isliye rakh raha hon ke is ghazal ke har ashar me tanz hai jo ke 2 pahelo per ishara deta hai !! agar Ghazal se mil jao to nawaz dena !!

Aur ye Ghazal maine pahele bhi eak mahefil me padhi thi aur ab yoindia ke nazar karta hon , Tawajo chahunga hasrath !!


Tere dil me kya hai eak baar bata to sahi !!
Apnana tere bas me nahi , thukra to sahi !!
Mere dard pe teri qamushi achi nahi lagti !!
Rona tere bas me nahi , muskura to sahi !!

Meri kitaab ka har panna teri nazar ka mahutaj hai !!
Padna tere bas me nahi , jala to sahi !!

Tere shaher me jab se aye pyase hain hum !!
Pani  tere bas me nahi , zaher pila to sahi !!

Majdhar me la-ke tone chuda hai sath mera !!
Bachana tere bas me nahi ,doba to sahi !!

Kab tak rahega tujh se milne ka muntazir ye Qadeer !!
Aana tere bas me nahi , bola to sahi !!

ab kyoon karta hai nakaam koshish mujhe needh se uthane ki  !!
Jagana tere bus me nahi , dafna to sahi !!

Qadeer Toopchi
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fairy2633
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«Reply #1 on: January 31, 2009, 05:14:48 AM »
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wow....bahut khoob qadeer ji... Applause
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abdulqadeer
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«Reply #2 on: January 31, 2009, 05:36:34 AM »
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Quote from: fairy2633 on January 31, 2009, 05:14:48 AM
wow....bahut khoob qadeer ji... Applause

Shukriya Janab !! Allah tumhe khush rakhe !! Ameen !!

Qadeer Toopchi
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k.shael
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«Reply #3 on: January 31, 2009, 06:09:43 AM »
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Bahut khoob likha hai Qadeer ji,

Sach me aap bahut aacha likhte hai,

Tujhe bepanaah mohabbat kiye jaa rahi ho mein,
Mohabbat karna tere bass me, nafrat dikha to sahi,

Ret banke teri muthi me samayi hui ho mein
Sambhal pana tere bass me nahi, bikhra to sahi,

Aansoo ban ke sadiyo se thehre hai teri aankhon me,
Chalkana tere bass me nahi, chupa to sahi...

Shally.
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abdulqadeer
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«Reply #4 on: January 31, 2009, 06:31:52 AM »
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Aansoo ban ke sadiyo se thehre hai teri aankhon me,
Chalkana tere bass me nahi, chupa to sahi...


Shukriya Shally  Izzath afza-e- ke liye !!

Aur subhan allah app ne bhi acha likha hai qaas taur pe ye ashar apka!!

Qadeer Toopchi
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Pooja
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«Reply #5 on: January 31, 2009, 08:47:57 AM »
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 Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

wah wah wah, kaya baat hai Qadeer bhaijaan, ek ek line kamaal ki likhi hai apne.. bahoot khoob... kalam ka rukna mushkil ho gaya... wah kaya baat hai...

Shally hamesha ki tarah bahoot he acha sath diya apne... bahoot khoob.. Ek koshish meri bhi.. qadeer bhai apki tarah majboot shabd mere pass nahi.. phir bhi umeend hai shayad apko pasand ayye

zakham hote na nasoor to dil bhi dikha dete
zajbaat jo hote bas main, tujhe thukra dete

ek khamoshi ke dum per, kuch umeende hai backi
nigah milate to hum ansoo bhari ankho se muskura dete

likh rahe hai khud he khud ka afsaana lahu se hum
samjh lete jo khud ko, tujhe bhi yah samjha dete

zehar ban chuki khud ke liye khud ki her ek sans
aise main bata kon sa zehar hum tujhe pila dete

jante hai, meri sanso per hai teri sansein zinda
warna khud ke sung kab ka tujhe bhi dooba dete

waqat-e-zakhmo ne kar diya jeevan is kadar soona
hota jo kuch zindagi main, tujhe hum bula lete

kar deti her khushi tere naam, koi jo hoti zindagi main
aor lete hue tera naam, khud ko tere kadmo tale dafna dete

na karna ab kabhi zikar humara apne labo se tum
deta jo tu sath kabhi huamara, her ek deewar hum geera dete!!
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abdulqadeer
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«Reply #6 on: January 31, 2009, 08:58:48 AM »
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Subhan allah pooja bahen , subhan allah kya jawab diya hai apne meri ghazal ko !! wah wah !! kasam se bol raha hon mai ye kalam apka mujhe behad pasand aya !! aur jo jawab hosakta hai mere kalam ka wohi hai apki ye nazam ap itna acha likhte hai mai nahi jaanta tha !! wah wah , kya likha bahen aur bahoth bahoth shukriya apka jo apne hamari anjane me howi galti ko maaf kardiya aur yoindia ko apna liya !! mai sub ko ye bath bata deta hon ke pooja bahen yoindia per nahi ane wali thi mere hazar baar request karne aur maafi mangne ke baad aa-e- hain aur  agli baar se mai bhi qayal rakhonga aur sub log bhi qayal rakhe ke inke dil ko dukh na ho !! inka nature sub se hat ke hai !! once again thanks a lot for dedicating a beautiful poem to my thread !! Allah apko jaza-a- qair de Ameen !! Aur iss message me maine urdu ke alfaaz nahi likhe kyoon ke sub log bahetar samjh saken !!

Apka Bhai !!

Qadeer Toopchi
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k.shael
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«Reply #7 on: January 31, 2009, 09:11:13 AM »
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Quote from: abdulqadeer on January 31, 2009, 06:31:52 AM
Shukriya Shally  Izzath afza-e- ke liye !!

Aur subhan allah app ne bhi acha likha hai !!

Qadeer Toopchi

Shukriya Qadeer ji,
Nacheez ko sarahne ke liye,

Shally.
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k.shael
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«Reply #8 on: January 31, 2009, 09:12:19 AM »
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Quote from: Pooja on January 31, 2009, 08:47:57 AM
Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

wah wah wah, kaya baat hai Qadeer bhaijaan, ek ek line kamaal ki likhi hai apne.. bahoot khoob... kalam ka rukna mushkil ho gaya... wah kaya baat hai...

Shally hamesha ki tarah bahoot he acha sath diya apne... bahoot khoob.. Ek koshish meri bhi.. qadeer bhai apki tarah majboot shabd mere pass nahi.. phir bhi umeend hai shayad apko pasand ayye

zakham hote na nasoor to dil bhi dikha dete
zajbaat jo hote bas main, tujhe thukra dete

ek khamoshi ke dum per, kuch umeende hai backi
nigah milate to hum ansoo bhari ankho se muskura dete

likh rahe hai khud he khud ka afsaana lahu se hum
samjh lete jo khud ko, tujhe bhi yah samjha dete

zehar ban chuki khud ke liye khud ki her ek sans
aise main bata kon sa zehar hum tujhe pila dete

jante hai, meri sanso per hai teri sansein zinda
warna khud ke sung kab ka tujhe bhi dooba dete

waqat-e-zakhmo ne kar diya jeevan is kadar soona
hota jo kuch zindagi main, tujhe hum bula lete

kar deti her khushi tere naam, koi jo hoti zindagi main
aor lete hue tera naam, khud ko tere kadmo tale dafna dete

na karna ab kabhi zikar humara apne labo se tum
deta jo tu sath kabhi huamara, her ek deewar hum geera dete!!


Shukriya Pooja didi,
Aur kya khoob likha hai aapne,
Sach me bahut hi lajawaab likha didi,

Shally.
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k.shael
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«Reply #9 on: January 31, 2009, 09:13:01 AM »
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Quote from: Shihab on January 31, 2009, 08:57:35 AM
Achha Saath Diya Hai Aapne Shael Ji
Keep It Up.

Shukriya Shihab ji,

Shally.
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abdulqadeer
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«Reply #10 on: January 31, 2009, 09:18:01 AM »
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Quote from: Shihab on January 31, 2009, 08:56:39 AM
Wow Qadeer Bhai Kya Khoobsurat Kalaam Paish Kiya Hai Aapne
Bohat Hi Ajmal Keep It Up Bhai.

Shukriya Shihab ji is nacheez ko izzath dene ke liye ahesan mand hai banda apka !! Allah apko qair de janab !!

Qadeer Toopchi
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k.shael
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«Reply #11 on: January 31, 2009, 09:25:09 AM »
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Ham aaj bhi jeete hai tere diye gammo ke dekh-dekh kar,
Warna kab ka jhakhmo pe marham laga dete,

Hame aaj bhi khushi milti hai tere khat pad kar,
Warna kab ka unhe aag me jala dete,

Hamare dil pe aaj bhi raj hai teri yaadon ka
Warna kasam se ise kab ka dafna dete...

Shally.
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abdulqadeer
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«Reply #12 on: January 31, 2009, 10:03:43 AM »
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Quote from: k.shael on January 31, 2009, 09:25:09 AM
Ham aaj bhi jeete hai tere diye gammo ke dekh-dekh kar,
Warna kab ka jhakhmo pe marham laga dete,

Hame aaj bhi khushi milti hai tere khat pad kar,
Warna kab ka unhe aag me jala dete,

Hamare dil pe aaj bhi raj hai teri yaadon ka
Warna kasam se ise kab ka dafna dete...

Shally.

Bath Qoob sahlly again !! Likhte raho isitarah !! Allah tumhe khush rakhe Ameen !!

Qadeer Toopchi
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abdbundeli
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«Reply #13 on: January 31, 2009, 10:18:55 AM »
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abdulqadeer ji!
Bahut khoob! It's a composition that speaks more than what appears in it at the first sight! Poet seems to be laughing pathetically at his own state of affairs vis-a-vis his counterpart i.e his love!
             - abd bundeli
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abdulqadeer
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«Reply #14 on: January 31, 2009, 10:29:16 AM »
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Quote from: abdbundeli on January 31, 2009, 10:18:55 AM
abdulqadeer ji!
Bahut khoob! It's a composition that speaks more than what appears in it at the first sight! Poet seems to be laughing pathetically at his own state of affairs vis-a-vis his counterpart i.e his love!
             - abd bundeli

Kya nazar aur sunch pa-e- hai apne abd sahab kasam se bol raha hon puri ghazal matlab saaf kar diya apne !! wah wah kya pari nazar ke malik hain app isiliye hum apki miyari nazar ke muntazir rahete hain janab !! Allah apko khush rakhe Abd sahab !!Ameen sum ameen !!

Qadeer Toopchi
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