*Gazal*

by Roja on September 03, 2007, 03:06:35 AM
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Roja
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«Reply #60 on: May 18, 2008, 02:19:32 PM »
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Roja ji aadaab...
Mene baat ko badha chadha kar pesh nahi kiya he, Sab se badi baat he "wazan" jab tak sher me wazan naho wo "nazam" nahi "nasar" kehlata he, YO par istara sahih kalam pesh karne waale log bohot hain magar phir bhi kam hain, aksariyat iski parwah nahi karti.

Aap ke ash'aar me aksar wazan sahi hota he, jese aap ka sher:


Besada muflison ki sada ab to sun
Sab pata hai tujhe ae khuda ab to sun

Agar ye soch samajh kar wazan par likhe gae hen to bohot achhchha he or agar beirada hi wazan par sher kehdale to or bhi achhchha he, iska matlab he fitrat me shayri he, jo bohot unche maqaam tak pohonchne ki daleel he.

Afsos he ke mene pehle aap ko kyun nahi padha shayad is liye ke ham dono ka waqt alag he YO par aane ka.


Ab mai aapka is vistar ka kya jawab du Sayyid Randeri sb?? Jo b talim mili hai mujhe wo mere papa se mili hai. Aaj wo aapka likha hua padpate toh bahut khushi hogi unhe. Bahut bahut shukriya.
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Roja
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«Reply #61 on: May 18, 2008, 02:27:35 PM »
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Ab bhi honton pe hassi hai, ab bhi aankhon main nami
Kaun kehta hai ki pattar ho gaya hai aadmi

Jal raha jungle magar kuch phool bhi toh khil rahe
Dhoop choomti ho bhale per chandni hai reshmi

Dhood maa ki chathiyon mein, bhook bacche mein abhi
Rokne se zindagi ki, kab kahan dhara thami

Ab bhi aangan mein gharounde, ab bhi hai kilkariya.n
Boliye ghar mein kahan fir reh gayi koyi kami

Gungunati ab bhi payal, rang mehendi main abhi
Janam per bajthi nahi, ab bhi kahi dhun matami

Ab bhi palkon per hai sapne, khoj manzil ki wahi
Nazar ab bhi aadmi ki, chand-taron per jami
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #62 on: May 18, 2008, 11:30:14 PM »
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Sayyid,

Hume bohot khushi hai ki YOIndia pe aap jaise shayar hain, Yaqeenan, aapka kalam kam nazar aata hai yahan, par bohot hi aa'ala !! Aapki shayari ke to hum qayal hain...... Usual Smile

Beshak yahan bohot log likhte hain lekin sahi maayne main urdu shayari kam hi log karte hain..magar seekhne main kaisi sharam...aur jo log seekhne main sharam mehsoos nahin karte, wohi aage badhte hain....

Aapke fan se agar meri bhi shayari durust ho, to mujhe is baat se zyada khushi aur kya hogi..Ummed hai ki aap humari islaah karte rahenge (jaise ki karte rehte hain )Usual Smile


Celmira ji me aap ka tah-e-dil se shukar guzaar hun jo aap ne itni izzat bakhshi..

Banda islaaiq nahi ke kisi ki islah kare, albatta aap ka hukm sar aankhon par, jokuchh hamse jaha'n tak hosake ek dusre ki islaah karte rahenge, YO par ham tama hi talib-e-ilm he, or talib-e-ilm ek dusre ko  sabaq yaad karne me madad karte hen ye kuchh esahi samajhye.  Usual Smile
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #63 on: May 18, 2008, 11:37:41 PM »
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Ab mai aapka is vistar ka kya jawab du Sayyid Randeri sb?? Jo b talim mili hai mujhe wo mere papa se mili hai. Aaj wo aapka likha hua padpate toh bahut khushi hogi unhe. Bahut bahut shukriya.

Roja ji hamne aap ke papa ko nahi dekha, magar aap ki shayri me unke ilm or hunar ko dekh raha hun, yaqeenan wo a'ala darjeke shair honge.
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Sayyid Randeri
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«Reply #64 on: May 18, 2008, 11:53:19 PM »
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Ab bhi honton pe hassi hai, ab bhi aankhon main nami
Kaun kehta hai ki pattar ho gaya hai aadmi

Jal raha jungle magar kuch phool bhi toh khil rahe
Dhoop choomti ho bhale per chandni hai reshmi

Dhood maa ki chathiyon mein, bhook bacche mein abhi
Rokne se zindagi ki, kab kahan dhara thami

Ab bhi aangan mein gharounde, ab bhi hai kilkariya.n
Boliye ghar mein kahan fir reh gayi koyi kami

Gungunati ab bhi payal, rang mehendi main abhi
Janam per bajthi nahi, ab bhi kahi dhun matami

Ab bhi palkon per hai sapne, khoj manzil ki wahi
Nazar ab bhi aadmi ki, chand-taron per jami


Bohot khoob... behtareen, hamesha ki tarha sadgi or sanjeedgi ke saath khoobsoorat peshkash.
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Roja
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«Reply #65 on: May 25, 2008, 12:50:04 PM »
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Bahut bahut shukriya Sayyid Randeri ji
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honeyrose
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«Reply #66 on: May 25, 2008, 01:39:54 PM »
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Ab bhi honton pe hassi hai, ab bhi aankhon main nami
Kaun kehta hai ki pattar ho gaya hai aadmi

Jal raha jungle magar kuch phool bhi toh khil rahe
Dhoop choomti ho bhale per chandni hai reshmi

Dhood maa ki chathiyon mein, bhook bacche mein abhi
Rokne se zindagi ki, kab kahan dhara thami

Ab bhi aangan mein gharounde, ab bhi hai kilkariya.n
Boliye ghar mein kahan fir reh gayi koyi kami

Gungunati ab bhi payal, rang mehendi main abhi
Janam per bajthi nahi, ab bhi kahi dhun matami

Ab bhi palkon per hai sapne, khoj manzil ki wahi
Nazar ab bhi aadmi ki, chand-taron per jami


Bohat khoob likha hai Roja dear.. Clapping Smiley
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Sonia01
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«Reply #67 on: December 28, 2008, 02:09:20 PM »
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kaThin hai raahguzar thoRii duur saath chalo
bahut kaRaa hai safar thoRii duur saath chaalo   

tamaam umr kahaaN ko¢ii saath detaa hai
maiN jaantaa huuN magar thoRii duur saath chalo

nashe meN chuur huuN maiN bhii tumheN bhii hosh nahiiN
baRaa mazaa ho agar thoRii duur saath chalo

ye ek shab kii mulaaqaat bhii Ghaniimat hai
kise hai kal kii Khabar, thoRii duur saath chalo

abhii to jaag rahe haiN chiraaGh raahoN ke
abhii hai duur sahar thoRii duur saath chalo

(NM)
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_Vicky_
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«Reply #68 on: December 28, 2008, 02:22:18 PM »
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kaThin hai raahguzar thoRii duur saath chalo
bahut kaRaa hai safar thoRii duur saath chaalo   

tamaam umr kahaaN ko¢ii saath detaa hai
maiN jaantaa huuN magar thoRii duur saath chalo

nashe meN chuur huuN maiN bhii tumheN bhii hosh nahiiN
baRaa mazaa ho agar thoRii duur saath chalo

ye ek shab kii mulaaqaat bhii Ghaniimat hai
kise hai kal kii Khabar, thoRii duur saath chalo

abhii to jaag rahe haiN chiraaGh raahoN ke
abhii hai duur sahar thoRii duur saath chalo

(NM)


Nice Sharing Sonia Sis..Kahan se nikaale Yeh Alfaaz.. Behad Khubsoorat jazzbaat Hain.. Bahut Khooooooob.. Applause


**~** Mann **~**
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sunilmsn
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«Reply #69 on: December 28, 2008, 02:38:00 PM »
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kaThin hai raahguzar thoRii duur saath chalo
bahut kaRaa hai safar thoRii duur saath chaalo  

tamaam umr kahaaN ko¢ii saath detaa hai
maiN jaantaa huuN magar thoRii duur saath chalo

nashe meN chuur huuN maiN bhii tumheN bhii hosh nahiiN
baRaa mazaa ho agar thoRii duur saath chalo

ye ek shab kii mulaaqaat bhii Ghaniimat hai
kise hai kal kii Khabar, thoRii duur saath chalo

abhii to jaag rahe haiN chiraaGh raahoN ke
abhii hai duur sahar thoRii duur saath chalo

(NM)


man gaye aap likhte to bahut badiya hai Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley
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Sonia01
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«Reply #70 on: December 28, 2008, 02:40:15 PM »
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man gaye aap likhte to bahut badiya hai Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley Clapping Smiley

aaww mai nahi likha sunil jii... meri collections hai...  tongue3
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sunilmsn
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«Reply #71 on: December 28, 2008, 02:43:50 PM »
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aaww mai nahi likha sunil jii... meri collections hai...  tongue3

kaya fark padta hai yaha to aapne likha na
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Sonia01
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«Reply #72 on: December 28, 2008, 02:46:19 PM »
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likhna aur copy karna dono alag alag hai bhaya...  Giggle

anyway thaks for yr kind words....
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Roja
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«Reply #73 on: February 21, 2009, 03:28:30 PM »
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likhna aur copy karna dono alag alag hai bhaya...  Giggle

anyway thaks for yr kind words....

haha dimpu Nice sharing....
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Roja
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«Reply #74 on: February 21, 2009, 03:32:48 PM »
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Gam Ki Dawa Toh Sharab Nahi
Haan Ye Zehar Sahi Per Karaab Nahi

Pyar Ke Naam Per Loot.te Ho
Yaaron Tumhara Bhi Jawab Nahi

Joh Apni Hararat Se Pigla Na De
Woh Shabab Koyi Shabab Nahi

Tumhe Lagta Pyar Ke Badle Pyar Mile
Tumhare Liye Ye Dunia Janab Nahi

Sabhi Apni-Apni Fithrat Ke Fakir
Saccha Dil Ka Koyi Nawab Nahi

Humne toh Bas Aankon Se Ishara Kiya
Badle Mein Unka Pyar Ka Jawab Nahi

Bhalayi Ki Toh Ginthi Hai "Roja", Magar
Pass Apne Gunahon Ke Hisab Nahi

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