~ * Tum * ~ _Dev

by thinkhattk on May 11, 2010, 11:55:37 AM
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thinkhattk
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Is yaad me bhi kisiki fariyad ho tum,

kisiki zindgi ke aakhri sanse ho tum,

is sanso me kisi ka viswas ho tum,

kisike liye jo kabhi bhi bhul na paye wo hasin hamsafar ho tum....
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baadal102
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«Reply #1 on: May 11, 2010, 11:57:40 AM »
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ji thik hai hum Usual Smile

thats verry good dev ji Applause

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madhuwesh
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«Reply #2 on: May 11, 2010, 11:59:30 AM »
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Wow Deevangi ji mindblowing creation,bahut achi lagi aapke poem.keep up the good work Hats off to you! icon_thumleft Applause Applause Applause Applause
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #3 on: May 11, 2010, 12:01:52 PM »
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thanku so much ji......
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cara
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«Reply #4 on: May 11, 2010, 12:10:32 PM »
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Wah kya baat hai        THINHATTK JI....


ZINDAGI KI AAKHRI SAANSON MEIM BHI YAAD AATE HO "TUM"
KYA TUME YAAD AATE HAI KABHI HUM......
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KOYAL46
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«Reply #5 on: May 11, 2010, 01:35:12 PM »
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Wah saras lakhe chhe tu.... Clapping Smiley Applause Clapping Smiley Applause Clapping Smiley Applause

Jab puchhna tha tab nahi puchha
Ab aakhari waqt puchhte ho tum

Kya batlaayen ab kaise hain hum
Ab tou antim safar par hain hum



Is yaad me bhi kisiki fariyad ho tum,

kisiki zindgi ke aakhri sanse ho tum,

is sanso me kisi ka viswas ho tum,

to batao kese ho tum....?

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brokenbyluv
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«Reply #6 on: May 11, 2010, 02:07:48 PM »
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acha hai think ji per ek baat kehna chahungi ki agar aap last ki line mein kuch change kar dete kyunki sher ki akhri line sabse zyada mayine rakhti hai kisi shayari ka akhir hi uski sab se badi khubsurati hoti hai...koshish kijiyega ki aap kuch edit kar sake last line ko...take cre...

nice replies cara ji n koyal...
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Rajesh Harish
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«Reply #7 on: May 11, 2010, 05:13:01 PM »
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Good one Dev
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #8 on: May 12, 2010, 05:08:09 AM »
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Wah kya baat hai        THINHATTK JI....


ZINDAGI KI AAKHRI SAANSON MEIM BHI YAAD AATE HO "TUM"
KYA TUME YAAD AATE HAI KABHI HUM......


Wah saras lakhe chhe tu.... Clapping Smiley Applause Clapping Smiley Applause Clapping Smiley Applause

Jab puchhna tha tab nahi puchha
Ab aakhari waqt puchhte ho tum

Kya batlaayen ab kaise hain hum
Ab tou antim safar par hain hum





thanku so much cara n koyal....

lovely response.... Clapping Smiley
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #9 on: May 12, 2010, 05:13:48 AM »
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acha hai think ji per ek baat kehna chahungi ki agar aap last ki line mein kuch change kar dete kyunki sher ki akhri line sabse zyada mayine rakhti hai kisi shayari ka akhir hi uski sab se badi khubsurati hoti hai...koshish kijiyega ki aap kuch edit kar sake last line ko...take cre...

nice replies cara ji n koyal...


sukriya geet di comment dene k liye. mene koshish ki he bataiyega thik he ke nahi, aapne bilkul sahi kaha he last lines hi sher ki jaan hoti he..
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thinkhattk
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«Reply #10 on: May 12, 2010, 05:21:30 AM »
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Good one Dev

sukriya rajesh ji....
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KOYAL46
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«Reply #11 on: May 12, 2010, 06:53:36 AM »
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U R Welcome.....
Koshish humko bhi tou bataao.....




thanku so much cara n koyal....

lovely response.... Clapping Smiley

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thinkhattk
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«Reply #12 on: May 12, 2010, 07:06:53 AM »
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kai nai aej ke last line modify karvani hati ae kari chhe.
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KOYAL46
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«Reply #13 on: May 12, 2010, 07:42:49 AM »
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Kem aatlu laambu kare chhe...
"kisike liye jo kabhi bhi bhul na paye wo hasin hamsafar ho tum."
Aaj bhi hasin hamsafar ho tum....
Antim padav par bhi saath ho tum...
Sach kisi k jeevan ka pran ho tum...
Aa 3 line hu suggest karu chhu.....
Tane Gamme tou kje....

Is yaad me bhi kisiki fariyad ho tum,

kisiki zindgi ke aakhri sanse ho tum,

is sanso me kisi ka viswas ho tum,

kisike liye jo kabhi bhi bhul na paye wo hasin hamsafar ho tum....

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thinkhattk
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«Reply #14 on: May 12, 2010, 07:50:14 AM »
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game j ne kem na game baku....
bov j sarsa chhe....  Clapping Smiley
hal hu lunch mate jav chhu,
kakdine bhukh lage chhe.
chal tare aavvu hoy to....
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