|
mistufer
Guest
|
apni phooTee qismet se ro ke boli ik bewah
Kya Khata huuwee mujhse jo bana diya vidhwa
maaNg ka sindoor ujRa khali hai kalayee bhee
ab tou bus muqaddar meN hai sufaid ik saRee
haath meN nah chooRee hai aur nah paaoN meN payal
miT gaya mera har sukh ho gaya hai dil ghayal
ab kahaN raha bister main hooN aur chaTaayee hai
ghar ka ek kona hi bus meri Khudaiee hai
mujh se har Khushee rooThee runj-o-gham ne ghera hai
kuch nazar nahiN aata har taraf andhera hai
ik siNdoor miTte hi maNg ho gayee soonee
ab Khmosh rahtee hooN pahle thee maiN batoonee
apni apni KhushiyoN meN log choor rahte haiN
ab tou mere apne bhi mujh se door rahte haiN
kitni sadaa-o-beruNg ab meree kahani hai
bus safaid kapRoN meN zindagee bitani hai
deke ranj-e tanhayee umr bhar ka gham bakhsha
ai falak yeh batla dey kya quSoor tha mera
Nira |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
khwahish
WeCare
Khaas Shayar
Rau: 166
 Offline
Gender: 
Waqt Bitaya:272 days, 5 hours and 50 minutes.
Posts: 11814 Member Since: Sep 2006
|
 |
«Reply #1 on: June 02, 2009, 04:30:33 PM » |
|
Bahut bahut Khoob Nira!!
Kya Kahoon,Kitna Dard Tha Aapki iss Nazm mein..
Aapne Ek Kadwe Sach Ko Alfaazo Mein Bayaan Kiya hai..
Bahut Ache 
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Roja
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #2 on: June 02, 2009, 04:31:38 PM » |
|
apni phooTee qismet se ro ke boli ik bewah
Kya Khata huuwee mujhse jo bana diya vidhwa
maaNg ka sindoor ujRa khali hai kalayee bhee
ab tou bus muqaddar meN hai sufaid ik saRee
haath meN nah chooRee hai aur nah paaoN meN payal
miT gaya mera har sukh ho gaya hai dil ghayal
ab kahaN raha bister main hooN aur chaTaayee hai
ghar ka ek kona hi bus meri Khudaiee hai
mujh se har Khushee rooThee runj-o-gham ne ghera hai
kuch nazar nahiN aata har taraf andhera hai
ik siNdoor miTte hi maNg ho gayee soonee
ab Khmosh rahtee hooN pahle thee maiN batoonee
apni apni KhushiyoN meN log choor rahte haiN
ab tou mere apne bhi mujh se door rahte haiN
kitni sadaa-o-beruNg ab meree kahani hai
bus safaid kapRoN meN zindagee bitani hai
deke ranj-e tanhayee umr bhar ka gham bakhsha
ai falak yeh batla dey kya quSoor tha mera
Nira
Bahut bahut accha likha hai Nira sis.... Bahut dard hai aur sacchayi b.
Very good work Nira sis |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
bobbynr
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #3 on: June 02, 2009, 05:18:44 PM » |
|
Bhaut Bahut Bhaut Hi acha Likha Hai apne Mere Pass Alfaz hi nahi hai apki Shan Main Kuch Bolneko Bus itna hi bolunga ki Apki Likhi Poem Hum logo bhi isi hi tarhan Milt Rahegi..
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
punam
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #4 on: June 02, 2009, 05:42:30 PM » |
|
bahut khoob Nira ji...labz to dil ko choo gaye ..
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Sammual
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #5 on: June 02, 2009, 06:37:16 PM » |
|
Bahut Khoob Nira Ji.Bahut Hi Acha Likha Hai Aapne.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
_Vicky_
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #7 on: June 02, 2009, 07:29:29 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mistufer
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #8 on: June 02, 2009, 10:25:44 PM » |
|
Bahut bahut Khoob Nira!!
Kya Kahoon,Kitna Dard Tha Aapki iss Nazm mein..
Aapne Ek Kadwe Sach Ko Alfaazo Mein Bayaan Kiya hai..
Bahut Ache khwaish ji sach hi toh hai kuch sachaiyen bahut kadvi hoti hain aapko nazm pasand aayi aapki shukrguzaar hoon yunhi saath dete rahiyega. apna khayal rakhiyega. nira |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mistufer
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #9 on: June 02, 2009, 10:26:57 PM » |
|
Bahut bahut accha likha hai Nira sis.... Bahut dard hai aur sacchayi b.
Very good work Nira sis
roja sis aapko pasand aayi nazam dilse shukriya adaa karti hoon. nira |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mistufer
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #10 on: June 02, 2009, 10:28:15 PM » |
|
Bhaut Bahut Bhaut Hi acha Likha Hai apne Mere Pass Alfaz hi nahi hai apki Shan Main Kuch Bolneko Bus itna hi bolunga ki Apki Likhi Poem Hum logo bhi isi hi tarhan Milt Rahegi..
mere bete ko pasand aayi nazm bara likhna safal hua khush raho maa |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mistufer
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #11 on: June 02, 2009, 10:29:33 PM » |
|
bahut khoob Nira ji...labz to dil ko choo gaye ..
punam ji aapko yahan dekhkar acha laga aapko nazm pasand aayi, hausla afzaayi ka shukriya nira |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mistufer
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #12 on: June 02, 2009, 10:31:07 PM » |
|
 Waise toh yeh puri nazm mujhe bahaut pasand ayi lekin kuch lines toh dil ko choo jati thi..Bahaut bahaut khubsoorat aur sach likha hai apne...bas yunhi likte rahiyega!!! Rahim ji aadaab aapki saharna ka dilse shukriya adaa karti hoon yunhi saath yahan dete rahiyega muje acha lagega. nira |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mistufer
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #13 on: June 02, 2009, 10:33:32 PM » |
|
vickyyyyyyyyy dard ke kitne rang kitne roop hain kuch nazaar aate hain kuch deewaron ke piche chhup jate hain tumhe nazm pasand aayi shukriya bhai |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mistufer
Guest
|
|
|
«Reply #14 on: June 02, 2009, 10:39:01 PM » |
|
Bahut Khoob Nira Ji.Bahut Hi Acha Likha Hai Aapne.
sammual ji hausla afzaayi ka bahut bahut shukriya |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
on eTI community..
