Bang!!!

Santa Goes to heaven
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
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A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms.

=======================
Santa Singh : 'Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?' Banta Singh : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'

======================
Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What's your problem?
Sardarji : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Sardarji : What problem?
===============
Letter
Letter from mother to son Santa Singh. Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. LoveMom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
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A dog was chasing a sardar &  the sardar was laughing.
A  bystander : Y  r u laughing ?
Sardar : I  have a Airtel phone but still Hutch network is following.

Good Salma and Murali

no offence pls... this is just a joke...

SARDAR in ARABIA
>
>A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which
>is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are
>all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their
>punishment, the Sheik announced:
>
>"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow
>each of you one wish before your whipping."
>
>The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
>"Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only
>lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying
>with
>pain.
>
>The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
>smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could
>only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering
>loudly.
>
>The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the
>Sheikh turned to him and said:
>"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is
>one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
>
>"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.
>
>"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not
>20, but 100 lashes."
>
>"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
>very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
>
>"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
>
>"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and
>said,
>
>"Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

hehe

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

lolzzzzzzzzzzz

Nice Rishi!!!!

hehehe