Jab se door hue ............ (neel)

by neelgold on September 02, 2010, 02:24:28 AM
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neelgold
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Kho gaye yeh chand sitare ,

Kho gaye voh sab nazare ,

Aur

Kho gyae hum bi kahin

Jab se voh door Hue


Na phoolon main aab voh kashish hai ,

Na barisho main abb voh nami rehi

Aur

Dil ne bi dharkna chod diya ,

jab se voh door huye .....



***SONA***
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neelgold
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«Reply #1 on: September 02, 2010, 02:29:11 AM »
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Hi Frineds.....................

Thanks for calling me bak here ............ kuch baan nahi paya bus yeh char lines likhe hai ...........
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tamanna.pt
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«Reply #2 on: September 02, 2010, 02:36:21 AM »
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    Ye 4lines bhi dil ko chooti hai Neel ji,very nice par request hai ji ho sake to is poem ko kuch or aage badhakar complete kare to maza dugna ho jay. yun hi achha achha likhte rahein. Thumbs UP Usual Smile
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cara
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«Reply #3 on: September 02, 2010, 02:36:46 AM »
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WELCOME BACK  NEELGOLD JI.....WAH KYA BAT HAI......



DIKH GAYE CHAND SITARE


HASEEN HOGAYE YE NAZARE

       AUR


KHUSH HOGAYE HAM SAB BHI


FIRSE TUM JO AAGAYI HO..



AB TO PHOOL KHILNE LAGE HAI


DIL SE SIL MILNE LAGE HAI


         AUR
  
DHARKNE BHI CHALNE LAGI HAI


FIRSE  JO TUM AAYI HO..


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dead heart
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«Reply #4 on: September 02, 2010, 03:34:07 AM »
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Hmm I am soooooo happy to see this post friend..Yakeen maniye behad khushi hui apko yahan dobara dekh kar..
Pehle toh teh dil se shukriya lautne ka..

Bahaut khoobsurat lines likhi hai..Dil se kehta hoon bahaut khoob..! Applause Applause
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neelgold
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«Reply #5 on: September 02, 2010, 09:04:31 PM »
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Thanx for your appreciation ... i  knoe i didnt complete it purposly ..... maine socha dost log help karnge complete karenge ................................................. ......... aur dekho Kiya bi .....chk reply below bhut sunder likha hai ... bt i vll try to complete it ..


    Ye 4lines bhi dil ko chooti hai Neel ji,very nice par request hai ji ho sake to is poem ko kuch or aage badhakar complete kare to maza dugna ho jay. yun hi achha achha likhte rahein. Thumbs UP Usual Smile
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neelgold
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«Reply #6 on: September 02, 2010, 09:06:28 PM »
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Thanks Cara ji ...... Thanx for welcoming me........
Bhut sunder likha hai aapne jaha se maine choda vaha se app ne pakd liya bhut khoob !!!!!!!!!!!!

WELCOME BACK  NEELGOLD JI.....WAH KYA BAT HAI......



DIKH GAYE CHAND SITARE


HASEEN HOGAYE YE NAZARE

       AUR


KHUSH HOGAYE HAM SAB BHI


FIRSE TUM JO AAGAYI HO..



AB TO PHOOL KHILNE LAGE HAI


DIL SE SIL MILNE LAGE HAI


         AUR
 
DHARKNE BHI CHALNE LAGI HAI


FIRSE  JO TUM AAYI HO..



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neelgold
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«Reply #7 on: September 02, 2010, 09:08:13 PM »
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Thanx its a call from my frindz so i m bak ... thnx to u guys ........ im top of the world ... so very happy !!!!!!!!

maine to yeh ada adoora likha hai ........ aap saab mil ke isse pura karo na ........

Hmm I am soooooo happy to see this post friend..Yakeen maniye behad khushi hui apko yahan dobara dekh kar..
Pehle toh teh dil se shukriya lautne ka..

Bahaut khoobsurat lines likhi hai..Dil se kehta hoon bahaut khoob..! Applause Applause
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ParwaaZ
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«Reply #8 on: September 02, 2010, 09:55:52 PM »
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Neel Jee Aadaab!

Aapki woh gazal padhi thi humne jo bahut khoob thi waqai beintehaaN tarif ke kabil......

Aur aapki is rachna ki bhi adyagi bahut achchi lagi hume..... Daad ....   

hum bhi kuch arz kar dete hai.....       



Tadap rahi hai har aik tamanna
na tum se milte naa aisa hota

Bujhi bujhi hai ye dil ki duniya
na tum se milte naa aisa hota

     



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neelgold
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«Reply #9 on: September 02, 2010, 10:05:27 PM »
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Thanks a lot Parwaaz ji ........ maine rahim ke thread pe bi apko thnx post kiya tha & sorry bi bola tha agr aapko meri vajh se koi taqleef hui ho..... mafi choongi ......

Apne bhut hi khoob likha hai ....... Very beautiful........

Thanxxxxxxxxx
 Hum to is kabil hi nahi hai ki kuch likh paye yeh to dosto ka pyar hai jo hume vapis keench laya hai .........


Neel Jee Aadaab!

Aapki woh gazal padhi thi humne jo bahut khoob thi waqai beintehaaN tarif ke kabil......

Aur aapki is rachna ki bhi adyagi bahut achchi lagi hume..... Daad ....   

hum bhi kuch arz kar dete hai.....       



Tadap rahi hai har aik tamanna
na tum se milte naa aisa hota

Bujhi bujhi hai ye dil ki duniya
na tum se milte naa aisa hota

     




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«Reply #10 on: September 03, 2010, 01:03:04 AM »
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Thankyou !
Sabse pehle to ek warm welcome aapko YOINDIA me.... aur aate hi aapne bata diya ki kalam me ab bhi jang nahi laga hai.. ye kalam aaj bhi waisi hi chamakti hai jaise kal chamakti thi... iski chamak se hi humko roshni milti hai... shukriya waapas aane ke liye.... hum sabhi dost aaapko bahut miss kar rahe they...aapki shaan me do line likh raha hoon... ummeed hai aapko pasand aayegi...!!!

ab hamaare bich koi doori nahi,
ye barsaat bhi ab adhuri nahi,
aapke aane se bahaarein laut aayi,
ab reh gayi majboori nahi,

phoolon ki mehek laut aayi hai,
chidiyon ki chehek laut aayi hai,
aapke aane se aisa asar hai mere dost,
maano hamaari zindagi hi laut aayi hai...
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«Reply #11 on: September 03, 2010, 03:56:32 AM »
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wahhhhh neelllll dekho tumhare aate hi yo pe fir se masti laut aai....
thnx alott ..for being here once again......

sabne bht pyaar se welcome kiya to ab main ek warning dedun....


suno neel....agar fir koi kuch kahe tumse aur tum yun chali gai to tumhare ghar me ghus ke tumhe kidnap karke yo k tehkhaane me band kar di jaogi..samjhiii......ab kabhi jane ki sochna bhi nahin...

pata hai tum dari nahin...koi baat nahin jab milogi dar jaogi..

hamesha khush raho aur likhti likhati raho....


cara ji and kapil ji mastam likha hai aapne ....welcome poem me.....
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«Reply #12 on: September 03, 2010, 06:05:09 AM »
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Thank you hai Kasak ji...!!!
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neelgold
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«Reply #13 on: September 03, 2010, 09:22:28 PM »
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Hey Kapil ....... Yaar bhut kuch bol diya tumne ....... Thanks a lot ...... My God itna warm wC.. Shyd kuch logon ko acha nhi laga ... Anywyz........

Appke words ne meri bolti band kar di .... totly speeecless ...

JST KAMAL BEMISAL>........
Thankyou !
Sabse pehle to ek warm welcome aapko YOINDIA me.... aur aate hi aapne bata diya ki kalam me ab bhi jang nahi laga hai.. ye kalam aaj bhi waisi hi chamakti hai jaise kal chamakti thi... iski chamak se hi humko roshni milti hai... shukriya waapas aane ke liye.... hum sabhi dost aaapko bahut miss kar rahe they...aapki shaan me do line likh raha hoon... ummeed hai aapko pasand aayegi...!!!

ab hamaare bich koi doori nahi,
ye barsaat bhi ab adhuri nahi,
aapke aane se bahaarein laut aayi,
ab reh gayi majboori nahi,

phoolon ki mehek laut aayi hai,
chidiyon ki chehek laut aayi hai,
aapke aane se aisa asar hai mere dost,
maano hamaari zindagi hi laut aayi hai...
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neelgold
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«Reply #14 on: September 03, 2010, 09:35:17 PM »
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Wahh Waah !!!!!!!

Dekho yaar har bande ka welcome ka apna andaz hai .... Kissi ne koi sher likh ke kiya kissi ne thread shuru kiya aur kissi ne ladyian bi ki ...... etc... Bt yeh dekho hmari kask hai jis ka  pana andaz hai ......... Sare - aam damki ..........

Vah kask aab to muze mere hi ghar main dar laga rehnga ki kaab tum aah jao kidnap karne ........ vaise tum USA aah paongi muze kidnap karne .......
JI hum to appki dmaki se dar gaye hum ab kabhi bi kahi bi nahi jaynge ....... haan agr kabhi gaye to tume bi saath le ke jaynge ... kaho kaise rehi ?

On serious note: main na to kissi se dari thi na hi kissi se koi gila shikva tha ... haan toda afsos tha ki log samz nahi paye .. jo jaisa hai usse vaise kyon accept nahi karte haar banda perfect nahi ho skata ....... yeh feelings hai samz mai aye to teek hai nahi to leave it ..... im nt going to publish in any book / anything bt anywyz th's thr prob... muze toda sa jo dukh hua voh is baat se yaar agar main kissi ko khushi nahi de sakti to unki narzgi ki vajh nhi banana choongi ....... tht's it ..

My funda is vry clear ....... I vna evrybody happy & smiling who evr suronding me / around me ...... yaar kissi ko toda sa bi dukh kyon de isliye chali gaye ki nahi pasnd to jane do na ....aur koi bi baat nahi hai main kisi ki baat ka bura nahi lagati ....

Alwyz keep smiling dear ...... tht;s d way to livs ur life...

wahhhhh neelllll dekho tumhare aate hi yo pe fir se masti laut aai....
thnx alott ..for being here once again......

sabne bht pyaar se welcome kiya to ab main ek warning dedun....


suno neel....agar fir koi kuch kahe tumse aur tum yun chali gai to tumhare ghar me ghus ke tumhe kidnap karke yo k tehkhaane me band kar di jaogi..samjhiii......ab kabhi jane ki sochna bhi nahin...

pata hai tum dari nahin...koi baat nahin jab milogi dar jaogi..

hamesha khush raho aur likhti likhati raho....


cara ji and kapil ji mastam likha hai aapne ....welcome poem me.....

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