my sms and jokes

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You fart so loud in sleep that you wake yourself up...*

Santa:meet my wife Preeto
Banta:oh i knw her.
S:hw?
B:v hd been sleeping together.
S:wen?Where?
B:20 yrs ago...In our history class.

Height of optimism.   Soldier: "We are surrounded from every direction."      SARDAR Major: "Excellent ! We can attack in any direction..!

Here is a film for u..

In this story hero loves heroine but heroine loves villain but villain loves heroines sister but heroines sister loves heroes brother
finally two members lost their heart and committed suicide can u guess who r the 2 members










Financer and producer

Boy prays to Ravana.
R appears.
R: What do you want?
B: I want 100 wishes.
R: I can grant only 3 wishes.
B: No I want 100 wishes.
R: I can give you only 3 wishes take it or leave it.
B: What do you have on your shoulders?
R: Gada
B: I wish you turn it into a stick.
R turns it into a stick.
B: Now I wish u put d stick inside ur ass.
R a little suprised accomplishes t wish.
B: Now give me 98 wishes or I'll wish d stick turns back into gada!!!!

Someone say's whisky is risky,
while someone say's Whisky bina zindagi miss ki. But i say Rum Bear ho ya wisky,
nahi hai wo ladki se zyada risky...!!

Patient: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye? Doctor: ye mera pehla operation hai. Success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye....

What is the similarity b/n toilet & exam hall?                                                
Ans:-In both cases the more time u sit..

the more shit comes out.