my sms and jokes

by arsenmen on June 09, 2005, 08:32:37 PM
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bybh
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«Reply #840 on: October 30, 2005, 07:24:49 AM »
Quote from: "aashu"
An Australian hooker goes into a tavern, empty, except for a lone Koala bear
sitting at the bar. She walks up and asks if he would like to spend the night
with her. He agrees and they both go back to her place. On the way, she asks
if Koala bears are really as good with their tongues as rumor says. He
replies that they are indeed. They make love all night long, and in the
morning, the Koala thanks her and turns to go. "Just a minute buddy, that'll
be 100 bucks." she says. "Koalas never pay", he explains calmly. "I'm a
prostitute, I make my living this way, you owe me 100 dollars!" she says, but
his reply is the same; "Koalas never pay". Finally, in desperation, she gets
a dictionary from the shelf, looks up "prostitute", and shows him "See?
prostitute One who takes payment for sexual favors." The Koala takes the
book flips to the Ks "koala Australian marsupial, eats bushes and leaves"
Ye SMS hai ya fir email???

Well, jo bhi ho, joke tohda purana wala hai...
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #841 on: October 30, 2005, 07:30:07 AM »
Off in the hill country the old man was sitting on his porch with his shotgun
across his knees waiting for his three daughters' dates to come pick them up.
The first one came and said to him, "Hello, I'm Bill. I'm here to pick up
Jill. We're going to walk up the hill" The old man told them to have a good
time. The next boy came up and said, "Hello, I`m Eddie. I'm here to pick up
Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti." The old man wished them well and off
they went. The third boy came up to the cabin and said, "Hello, I'm Chuck"
and the old man shot him.
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #842 on: October 30, 2005, 07:32:52 AM »
Well mujhe nahi pata tha ki its puraana........ :cry:
ill 2 try to post new ones...bybh
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #843 on: October 30, 2005, 10:49:00 PM »
The Monkey Test!

1. Say MONKEY before each word:

Monkeys
About
Talking
Idiot
Stupid
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look


2. Say MONKEY after each word:

Monkeys
About
Talking
Idiot
Stupid
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look


3. Say MONKEY before and after each word:

Monkeys
About
Talking
Idiot
Stupid
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look


4. Start at the bottom and read the words upwards.

Monkeys
About
Talking
Idiot
Stupid
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look

I hope ab ye puraana naa hoga....... sad5
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bybh
Guest
«Reply #844 on: October 31, 2005, 04:51:53 AM »
Na... It is fine Ayesha... Though it was a bit long...
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #845 on: October 31, 2005, 08:37:33 AM »
INDIAN Vs PAKISTANI
There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other.
The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one
of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the
Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick
up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg
belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the
egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we
normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and
time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and
time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the
egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of
boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani
and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor
clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick
you."
The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #846 on: October 31, 2005, 08:40:19 AM »
Santa and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Patiyala to New Delhi. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun
game. Santa, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and
explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me fifty rupees, and
vice versa."
Again, Santa declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay
me Rs. 50, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you Rs. 5000."
This catches Santa's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's
the distance from the earth to the moon?"
Santa doesn't say a word, reaches into his purse, pulls out a Rs. 50 bill, and hands it to the
lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn." Santa asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no
answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends
e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour,
he wakes Santa and hands him Rs. 5000. Santa thanks him and turns back to
get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs Santa and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, Santa reaches into his purse, hands the lawyer Rs. 50, and goes back to sleep. And you
thought Sardars were dumb.
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #847 on: October 31, 2005, 08:43:11 AM »
Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his
first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle
declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge
me for food and drinks!"
So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading
out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American
history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is
that drink?" he asked.
The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of
India!"
The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting.
"And what is that dish?" asked the curious American.
"Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly.
Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the
American.
"What is it?" asked the American.
"Sweet of India!" replied the old man.
After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "Pooooooooot!"
from the uncle.
"What was that?" asked the American in disgust.
The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India!"
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #848 on: October 31, 2005, 08:45:47 AM »
After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were
returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his
son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the
stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of
Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they
found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's
berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that
he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh
explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving
birth to my child."
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #849 on: October 31, 2005, 08:51:54 AM »
A well dressed man was having a dinner in "Kake Da Hotel". After he
finished his dinner, he started to wash his hands with table and chair. The
owner saw him and got real angry and asked, "Have you had dinner in some
nice hotel before?"
Man: "Ya!" "I had dinner once in Ashoka Hotel."
Owner: "There also, you washed your hands with table and
chair?"
Man: "Yes, I did."
Owner: "Nobody told you anything!"
Man: "They kicked me and said 'agar ase hi karna hai to kisi Kake Da
Hotel mae jake khana khaa'.
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Delicate_Doll
Guest
«Reply #850 on: October 31, 2005, 08:56:46 AM »
nice one aashu...lagta hai ye sms nahin ..email hai...lol nice one..........!!!


====================

n gr8 ones shareef ..waise toh thode sms apke mere he diye huve post kiye hain...apun ko posting wosting ka ab kaam nahin ...aapne jo zimedhari liye hai lol he he :p
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aashu
Guest
«Reply #851 on: October 31, 2005, 09:09:52 AM »
thnx salma Wo jokes hai......wat to do thode se lambe hai............
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Delicate_Doll
Guest
«Reply #852 on: October 31, 2005, 09:21:37 AM »
haan sms ke post me kafi lambe ne nazar aate hain :wink: lol
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Delicate_Doll
Guest
«Reply #853 on: October 31, 2005, 04:45:00 PM »
Jaane kya mujhse zamana chahta hai,
Mera dil tod kar mujhe hasaana chahta hai....
Jaane kya baat jhalakti hai mere chehre se,
Har koi mujhe aazmana chahta hai...
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Delicate_Doll
Guest
«Reply #854 on: October 31, 2005, 04:47:18 PM »
zindagi bhar tera intazaar karna hai,
ab aayega yeh soch mein jina hai.
jante hai tu kabhi na aayega,
lekin dil ki baat mankar chalna hai.
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